Crazy Caucus Republican Party Wingnuts

And God Said Unto John Boehner: You’re Imbeciles. Wash It Out!

Weird tid-bit about House Speaker John Boehner’s visions of Republican Jesus coming to visit him and reassure him that a comprehensive deal to mutilate the government was what he was meant achieve. Or not.

A few days into the shutdown, House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) prayed and asked God why he was put in charge of coralling the House Republican caucus toward a deal to open the government, according to National Review.

Boehner, as he was praying, thought “there must be a reason” he was in his position, according to sources close to the speaker.

The moment of prayer was a turning point and Boehner began to rally his caucus behind him, according to National Review’s Jonathan Strong.

Boehner proceded with optimism toward a comprehensive deal, something Rep. Pat Tiberi (R-OH) said Boehner has chased for a while.

Jesus saves, but John Boehner withdraws!

This whole asking God to help you destroy the government thing is really starting to creep me out. These are considered the mainstream Republicans, now? Excellent work, Tea Party. You made John Boehner seem like one of the sane ones.

  • This made me heartily guffaw. However, I think it wasn’t confusion on Boehner’s part so much as it was a “why me, oh Lord” pity party. Someone needs to remind him and the rest of the supposed mainstream Republicans to be careful for what they wish because they just might get it (and in this case, they got it where the sun don’t shine).

  • Zen Diesel

    The Dominion Jesus is patiently waiting for the day when his imbeciles, have prepared Merika for his second coming

    • feloniousgrammar

      Were they the lowest bidders, or what?

  • Badgerite

    God said that? Wow. Smart dude.

  • willpen

    Why the hell do these douches even have to pretend to pray anyway. I find it all a big crock of crap. If I want prayer I can go to my nearest house of worship. Not the fucking government.

  • Nefercat

    “House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) prayed and asked God why he was put in charge of coralling the House Republican caucus ”

    Consider it your temporal punishment for sins committed, jackass. And stop using the Lord’s name in vain.

  • drspittle

    On one of the “Tell Boehner To End The Shutdown” petitions I signed I added a comment stating to Boehner that we both attended Catholic high schools and colleges at the same time but I did not recall any of the priests or nuns who taught me say that Jesus rejoiced when poor people were denied food or health care. I think I also added that he should be ashamed of himself. .

  • muselet

    Boehner, as he was praying, thought “there must be a reason” he was in his position, according to sources close to the speaker.

    Actually, there was a reason, Mr Boehner. Your caucus elected you Speaker of the House.

    Dumbass.

    –alopecia

    • dbtheonly

      And he did run for the position. It’s not like they surprised him while he was taking a smoke break.

    • Badgerite

      Seriously. He applied for the job and no one else wanted it.

    • D_C_Wilson

      He didn’t get it because of any great leadership qualities he possesses. He got mainly by outlasting people like Gingrich, Hastert, and DeLay. He was the only one left in the House republican caucus who wanted the job.

  • missliberties

    Gag. He sounds just like Abe Lincoln, only the total opposite.

    • Victor_the_Crab

      He’s King Midas in reverse. Everything he touches turns to shit.

  • feloniousgrammar

    He appears to have been looking for God in the bottom of a whiskey glass for a long time. God, hepatic encephalopathy, what’s the difference? But, have you noticed he’s looking a lot less orange lately? This man is a mess of contradictions.