Batshittery Gun Fetishists

Batshit Campaign Ad Season Continues With More Guns

Missouri gubernatorial candidate Eric Greiten’s latest campaign ad is short on policy specifics but it’s big on big guns.

That’s actually the name of it; Big Guns.

Eric Greitens is under attack from Obama’s Democrat Machine. They’re trying to steal another Missouri election, but Eric Greitens is a conservative warrior and when he fights back he brings out the big guns.

To steal “another” election, don’t you have to steal a first one to begin with? What election was stolen exactly?

Is Greitens implying that he’s going to shoot Democrats? Is the “Democrat Machine” a literal machine sent back through time to stop Eric Greitens? Are “big guns” merely an extension that compensates for phallic deficiency? Does Eric Greitens fuck his guns when no one is watching?

GunPositions

  • tommo

    He doesn’t actually penetrate himself. He simply spreads ’em and puts his bunghole on the warm muzzle. As one does.

  • Draxiar

    Holy shit…

  • fry1laurie

    Answer to the fourth question: Yes.

  • Aynwrong

    No bacon?

    I am not impressed!

  • muselet

    What the actual fuck did I just watch?

    A guy shoots a minigun while a faux-folksy announcer bleats about “Obama’s Democrat Machine,” then the guy runs out of ammunition and grins like a self-abusing ape.

    If I’m going to watch someone fire a minigun, I’d rather it be Kari Byron, not some ammosexual doofus.

    Lordy.

    –alopecia

    • To some Republicans, this is their preferred aphrodisiac. For them it works better than Kari Byron.

    • Aynwrong

      I’ll go with Angelina Jolie’s Lara Croft myself.

      • muselet

        Suum cuique pulchrum est.

        –alopecia

        • Aynwrong

          Google translated it for me. So you get an up vote.

          • muselet

            Shouldn’t Google Translate get the upvote? :^)

            –alopecia

  • Georgie

    Oh yes, the gun sex, there is therapy for this now I believe.

    • Aynwrong

      Gun conversion therapy?

  • Dread_Pirate_Mathius

    God I hate the use of “Democrat” in lieu of “Democratic.”

    Like nails on a chalkboard.

    • Yep. It’s a ridiculous Republican meme. Most people have no idea why they use it, so it’s really just a middle finger to those of us who understand it.