Comedy Rand Paul WTF

Beefcake Rand Shoots Liberty From His Eye-Sockets in PAC ad

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Beefcake Rand is here to kick ass and chew gum, and he's all out of gum.

This heavy metal ad was produced by the America's Liberty PAC and it invites you to watch Rand Paul engage in another one of his signature fake filibusters this weekend.

Beefcake Rand won't stop at crushing Barack Obama, the "head of the Washington spy machine." Beefcake Rand will also obliterate the "capitulating Canadian" Ted Cruz and the "conservative accomplice" Lindsey Graham while he's "doing donuts in a 1997 Geo Metro, while it's on fire!"

Now that's metal. America, fuck yeah!

  • freakishlystrong

    Isn’t the President in Idiocracy a pro wrestler? We have to way the fuck up now, to see the entrance to the rabbit hole.

  • Victor the Crab

    If there was ever a Fight Club like match between Rand Paul and Barack Obama, I’d put a large chunk of money on President Obama smacking “Beefcake Paul” around until the pubic topped flip flopper was cowering on his knees and begging Bad Ass Obama not to hurt him anymore.

    A fight between Paul and Cruz and/or Graham? Fuck ’em all, just throw them in a meat grinder and be done with it.

  • muselet

    What the WTFing fuck …?

    –alopecia

  • GrafZeppelin127

    Uhhh….. Yeah. OK.

  • I was going to go with Colbert, if he was still on the air. That is just like videos he used to show on the Report.

    Poe’s Law wins again.

    • JMAshby

      Yes!

    • Victor the Crab

      It just makes me wish Stephen Colbert was still doing The Colbert Report, because you just knew he’d make fun of Paul’s video.

  • Nefercat

    I’m torn between Good Lord, Oh for God’s sake, or Oh for fuck’s sake.
    {looks around} Where’s mommy’s special 5 liter juice box?

  • Draxiar

    This has to be a joke ad from the Onion. Please say it is….pretty please with whip cream and a cherry on top…

    • JMAshby

      It isn’t.