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March 07, 2008
The voice in Hillary's head
Like her DLC soulmate, Joe Lieberman, Hillary Clinton really is about one person: Hillary Clinton. So she'll doctor photos to make a fellow Democrat look different, she'll praise her Republican "rival," she'll lie about NAFTA-gate and pretty much anything else - really, nothing matters except that she get elected to the office she's running for. Just like Joe Lieberman.
Which brings me to the realization that in some dark, reptilian part of what's left of the brain that's been stewing in Penn-juice for a year now, she's realizing that Florida's delegates won't get seated, that the supers are going to vote for the winner not the "winner", and that she won't be the nominee, let alone president, ever. Never. Ever. And this is NOT how it was supposed to be. Especially after all she put up with. Promises were made. Oaths sworn. And now, this. Loss. Defeat.
And that won't do. So there in the shadowy corners of her overcooked brain comes this voice that says, "Hey...Hillary...you and Johnny Mac have a lot in common...you and Johnny Mac crossed a threshold...together...that's what married couples do...and hey...maybe you could marry him...not literally, that would be too weird, but maybe...hey, here's a thought...maybe you could be his vice presidential nominee! Think about that Hill...the country would go for it...I mean, not the whole country, but who needs the whole country anyway...the significant states...they'd vote on that ticket. Especially if you scared the living shit out of them, you and Johnny Mac...have him show his scars on TV...let you run your fingers over them...this could happen to their children...Barack Obama could do it...or someone with a name that sounds like his name...plus...Johnny's old...he could...die. He could die in the first term...then...well...there you are...and you've been tested...you're ready...you crossed a threshold...you're always up at 3 AM anyway...worrying...think about this...think about the young, manly interns who would work for you...you could fire all the girls and get an all male intern staff...think about this...Hillary...think...McCain...Clinton...think..."
Of course McCain would pick Lieberman over her anyway.
Posted By JumpyPants | March 7, 2008 12:08 AM | DIGG THIS
Comments
Yeah Lieberman's waiting in the wings all dolled up with Eau de Republiquan.
But I agree with that line of thought. None of the other procedural tricks have worked out for her, so she might be considering another one that keeps her in the race despite losing the nomination.
Posted by: Nanotyrannus
at March 7, 2008 01:03 AM
If this wasn't so scary and realistic, I'd be laughing my ass off. Well written.
Posted by: Alaska
at March 7, 2008 01:11 AM
Well written, Bob.
For Hillary, it's never been about the Democratic Party taking back the Whitehouse... it's been about the CLINTONS taking back the Whitehouse.
In her recent "endorsements" of McCain, Hillary has made it crystal clear that if SHE is not the Democratic nominee, she would rather see McCain be the next President.
As I've said before... if Ms. Clinton cannot slake her own thirst, she will cheerfully poison the well.
Posted by: Packy Jude
at March 7, 2008 02:10 AM
You know what's funny, if you google the exact first quote she said about how McCain has a lifetime of experience, etc, you'll get a link to a Pajamas Media blog where the comments all say the same thing- McCain/Clinton '08.
So it's not just us.
--d
Posted by: dansolomon
at March 7, 2008 04:21 AM
>>Well written, Bob.
Cheers, but guest blogger JumpyPants wrote this.
Posted by: Bob_Cesca
at March 7, 2008 08:35 AM
Oops. Sorry, JumpyPants... but it was still well-written.
I really have to start reading the closing credits.
Posted by: Packy Jude
at March 7, 2008 10:31 AM
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