Spiro! Lol one of the best names to grace politics.

She is NOT good at this.

"She is NOT good at this" - which must be why CNN is talking over her. How did she get to be Speaker?!?!?!?

I think she's doing ok...

But then, I've been watching all the boring speakers on C-SPAN, so she's a vast improvement.

QT

Heh, Olbermann jumped all over Scarborough with video even!!

So Bob..give us visual...are you sitting there in Denver otherwise known as your couch with like 4 tvs on all around you, or do you have picture in picture in picture in picture...or are you furiously switching back and forth?

Obama is fighting back against the Swiftboaters. Finally, a candidate who plays hardball. Help us fight back:

http://thepoliticalcarnival.blogspot.com/2008/08/time-to-go-viral-obama-calls-for-media.html

She was okay answering questions on MSNBC, but the speech? Barf.
oh - Maya Soetoro-Ng. I love her speaking voice!

Thanks for the heads up QT. I switched to C-Span.. MSNBC was not showing Barack's sister. And they are not covering Jesse Jackson Jr... I's much rather watch C-SPAN and read the comments here rather than the cable stations.

Jesse Jackson Jr is giving me goose bumps already!

I think Matthews just about shit himself at Maher's Mormonism line!

Seeing the tribute to Teddy - talking about universal health care. How many years ago was that? How long has he been fighting for this? I truly hope he'll be around to see victory in that fight.

8:01 CST - CNN cameraman spots Spike Lee on convention floor. Frantic CNN director heard shouting, "There's a black guy white people know, stay on him! STAY ON HIM!"

9:15 - Caroline Kennedy bores the shit out of her own family, as Maria "Spongebob Squareface" Shriver seen stifling yawns.

CNN's John "Look, I Have A Touchie-Screen!" King seems determined to make Ted Kennedy sound like a fucking gimp by color-commenting on how much attention the poor man needed prior to giving his heart-warming speech.

Dear John King: Fuck off.

UNITY WATCH!

8:43 CST - Hot White Democrat with enormous jugs seen attempting some sort of side-to-side white person's dance while an African American woman struggles to get in the shot. White woman with enormous jugs gives exotic Hawaiian hand-signal Fox News reports means "Death To Christian Babies."

8:47 - John "Most Spectacular Democratic Failure Ever" Kerry opens big Swift-Boat mouth with his stinking-rich Catsup Wife smirking beside him. She really needs another face-lift, her eyes are starting to separate.

CNN Factoid: FDR the first nominee, in 1932, to deliver an acceptance speech in person at a convention. John King reminded everyone, by radio, that he had to be pushed to the podium in a fucking wheelchair.

9:07 - Jim Leach, apparently some sort of "Republican" and who moonlights as the voice of Kermit the Frog, mentions that the Democratic tradition "includes Republicans like Teddy Roosevelt, who built up the National Parks system, and broke down corporate monopolies." On that last part, John McCain -- said to idolize TR -- says, "Roosevelt did what now?"

9:14 CST - James Carville : Just a bitter bald old fuck.

CNN Consensus: Democratic Convention, Day One = Boring As Ass. After spending literally five minutes bitching about how fucking boring it has been, Cooperson Andersack feverishly reminds viewers we can stream all this ceaseless boredom on CNNLive.com. Because nothing makes a giant sack of ass more interesting than seeing it streamed on the interwebs.

Is it just me, or does the convention floor and its "crowd" just look pitiful and puny? I was expecting a crushing sea of The Humanity, going out of their mind with Barack Fever. Most of these people are asleep.

(PS - I'm watching this "live" on the TiVO, so I'm 30 minutes behind everyone else. Michelle hasn't come on yet in my world. I'm hoping she kicks some ass.)

I cant wait too see Cindy McCain tell us her "American Story". Im sure we will all be able to relate to it. NOT!

9:23 CST - Michelle Obama's mother notes they lived "on the South Side of Chicago." Fox News points out with some alarm that, according to trusted sources, this is the "baddest part of town."

I would love to see a debate between Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain....

The Michelle Obama Story leaves out the part where Barack left his crippled wife -- the one that went through a windshield and suffered two-dozen surgeries in silence, paid for by Ross Perot -- so he could bang her and feed on her Beer Money and Political Influence.

Oh no wait, that's fucking John McCain.

I cant wait to see Cindy McCain tell us the story of how and John McCain met all those years ago...

9:25 CST - Barack Obama perpetuates "exotic" label by recounting first date with Michelle, in which he offered to buy her something called "iced cream," which is apparently some sort of Polynesiomuslim delicacy spun from the milking of frozen Appalachian embryos.

That was a homerun! Go Michelle~

Jesus Christ, Michelle Obama is an angel. What the fuck is the matter with America, we need to put these people in the White House today. Right now, bitches! COUP D'FUCKINGETAT!

"And for that, I am so proud. And so blessed." ~ Michelle Obama's mother.

Dear America - If you blow this, and disappoint this dear old lady, I will personally kill all of you.

Michelle has Sigourney Weaver's mouth. That's fucking hot.

My #1 Reason To Love Joe Biden (Besides The Perma-Tan) : Playa rocks the BITCHINEST cuff-links in DC, y'all!

Christ I'm white.

Michelle Obama: Blue-collar father, stay-at-home mom. Elitist twat.

Michelle Obama just crushed it--amazing.

Ah, Michelle's first gaffe: "That your word is your bond, that you do what you say you're going to do."

To be fair, John McCain said he was going to cheat on his crippled wife with a whore cheerleader 17 years his junior who had Beer Money and Political Connections, and he did exactly that. Way to fuck that one up, Michelle.

9:43 CST - Michelle delivers the line "And isn't that the Great American Story?" and CNN fixes on a Sikh in a blue turban. Everyone at Fox News has a combination embolism/erection.

11:02 - Bob Cesca inexplicably edits the word "asshat" out of a description of Bill "Fucking Asshat" Kristol. Elvis Dingeldein puts it back in via the following: Dear Bill Kristol: You're an enormous asshat. Also, your soul is composed of Nazi-shavings and rat excrement.

9:44 CST - Michelle reminds "women" that this week marks the 88th anniversary of their right to vote (yes, you read that right, historically-challenged Americans with your heads up your asses: 88! Some of your grandmothers were born in shitty, shitty times.); "PUMA"s wave their McCain banners and ignore that strange sensation in their vaginas that turns out to be their souls leaking out of their bodies and sneaking off into real women.

11:14 - Bob Cesca gets his stride back, GO!

Well - while you guys suffered through the talking heads - I watched the convention - and LOVED so much of it... especially Michelle. She was just... AMAZING! :)

QT

10:17 CST - Elvis Dingeldein completes first full bottle of 2006* Sutter Home Pinot Grigot by himself, as he and his wife are fighting (again!) and not currently speaking. LiveBlogging expected to bottom out shortly.

* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! "2006" I says. It's Sutter fucking Home, this wine cost $5.29. Who gives a shit what year a five-dollar bottle of wine was decanted?

Oh my Christ I am such a fag for Barack Obama. He says "Hello Sweetie!" live from Kansas City and I almost burst into tears. I'm an emotional wreck.

Seriously America: I will hunt you down and shoot you in the dick if you screw this up.

11:26 - Bob Cesca makes Elvis Dingeldein laugh out loud, huzzah!

10:17 CST - Alex Castellanos : Just a dick with a mustache.

I wouldn't be at all upset if someone were to put Gloria Borger in a dark room in which the only repeated phrase was "It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again" while a small lapdog barked incessantly. That wouldn't bother me in the least.

For Christ's sake, McMansions was on Leno tonight and asked about the number of homes he owns, and he went into the fucking POW shit for the 1000th time. I'm glad McMansions is NOT a celebrity.

Will he stop talking about being a POW if Obama agrees to let McMansions waterboard him?

Thanks, Bob!

Leigh: if's funny how, for a guy who doesn't want to brag about his courage and heroism while a POW, still manages to bring it into every conversation he has, right?

Senator McCain: "Noun, verb, POW."

Talk about funnily-named nominees and elected officials, how about a president named after a cartoon cat? No wonder they shot him!

I don't know how you can stand to watch Fox or CNN (John King's Magic Fingers are totally annoying). I watched MSNBC and got to see Olbermann AND Matthews ream people right and left for not being in the bag for the Dems. I LOVE that!

BTW, Rachel Maddow owned the night by owning Buchanan. She was on FIRE!!!

how big of an asshat repug was brian williams?? wow!! i think ko wanted to knock him out. you expect that crap from buchanan & scar, but wow, i was taken aback. and kudos to tweety for snapping right back at buchanan when he said "they didn't say anything about being a christian." how rachel can sit by that twit and not punch him, she's a better person than i am.