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November 26, 2008
FOUND: Halperin's Sex List
by Lee Stranahan
Mark Halperin crashed on a friend's couch the other night and she found this list he'd been scribbling on a legal pad with the header "PILF!!!! in America Right Now Who Aren't Barack Obama". My friend eventually figured out PILF stands for either (People or Politicians or Pundits) I'd Like To F-ck based on the graphic doodles that Halperin made in the margins, (Halperin had been doing shots of Jäger all night until the bar he was at kicked him out and he started throwing punches at a bouncer screaming about a disgusting anti-sloppy drunk bias at the establishment.) Anyway - here's the list...
PILF!!!! in America Right Now Who Aren't Barack Obama
1. Ann Coulter with her mouth wired shut
2. Either Bay Buchanan or in a pinch, Pat Buchanan with a wig and more Jäger!!!
3. Any Palin of legal age
4. The Morning Joe team but Willie can only watch
5. Barney Frank
UPDATE: Stranahan here. I'd like to apologize for this list's implied homophobia humor or as experts call it, 'homo-funny-ia'. Looking at this list, I realized that every single item on my list dervies its 'humor' from the notion of Halperin having sex or as experts call it 'f-cking' a man. Every item. Again, I'm deeply sorry - although in my defense: gay jokes aren't funny unless they are about Republicans and then they aren't funny either, they're real.
Filed under: Ann Coulter || Barack Obama || LGBT || Mark Halperin || Morning Joe || Republicans || Same-Sex Marriage || Sarah Palin
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Posted By Lee Stranahan | November 26, 2008 12:00 PM
Comments
I just threw up in my mouth a little..
Posted by: cminri ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.bobcesca.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at November 26, 2008 12:19 PM
Okay this is obviously a fake... a real writer like Halperin wouldn't bother with all that unnecessary detail. That man's like the Ernest Hemingway of Time Magazine.
Posted by: El Mystico at November 26, 2008 12:28 PM
>>but Willie can only watch
A+++
Posted by: Travis Disaster at November 26, 2008 12:32 PM
3. Any Palin of legal age
Well that narrows it down. No such thing as frontier justice in Alaska? But you're right. I'm guessing Todd or Track... or Sarah with her mouth wired shut, don'cha know.
Posted by: Broadway Carl at November 26, 2008 12:47 PM
Mr. Stranahan,
you are Goddamn awesome!
Posted by: Ari Rutenberg at November 26, 2008 2:09 PM
Barney Frank? Barney Frank??? ROFLMAO... :D
Posted by: jennifer pearson at November 26, 2008 3:57 PM
Any Palin of legal age?
Don't forget Levi!
Posted by: T at November 26, 2008 10:28 PM
Okay. Huffpo censored my remark about Ann Coulter. All I said was her jaw wired was most likely the result of cosmetic surgery.........either that or she was full of valium and beer are was too hammered to stop her face from hitting the slate patio.
Posted by: bibimimi at November 27, 2008 1:57 AM
make that Pat Buchanan with a wig and a LOT more Jäger!!!
Posted by: bibimimi at November 27, 2008 2:00 AM
Bay Buchannan ?????????!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: prcleburne at November 27, 2008 5:27 AM
Pardon. Can't edit. Thats " Buchanan ."
Posted by: prcleburne at November 27, 2008 5:28 AM
As we used to say in high school, I wouldnt fuck her with your dick.
Posted by: prcleburne at November 27, 2008 6:42 AM
