Dear Teh Bob:

Thank you fer this here outlet. I think many of us would explode otherwise.

Oh, and

***** Happy Birthday GItheJoe!!! ****

I expect some might explode anyways, Jane. But yes, thank you Bob.

Happy birthday GItheJoe!!! I hope you gets lots of good presents! (Did we mention that he's actually pretty hott?)

Hey, I heard that not only does he have two arms, and is male, that Joe is actually teh hottt.

New theory: Lee gets paid commission based on number of comments.

For the record I was born on this day in 1981 in a snow storm. It is snowing in PA right now.

Best present of is the Prime Time Thread.

Gypsy, handled that wingnut on Lee's post earlier.

Hey Jocephus! Happy birthday!

I was trying to get last nights PTT up to 300 comments.
Jocephus says no more religion talk or shoe talk tonight.

Lee's making bank, then. You think he gives a cut to Travis Sirota?

Hmmm...so now we know Joe is a Sagittarius. I'm curious, for all you GDABloggers, what sign are you? (I moved to NC from CA, where you're practically required to have your entire astrological chart memorized and be prepared to discuss it at any given time.)

I think Joe handled the wingnuts...and snipers.

(testing)

Travis!

40/f/pisces

(feel like 13/f at this point)

Travis got a little pissy but I am sure he will get over it.

I think Lee likes the chaos.

also a Monkey.

Too far out for Cali?

Scorpio..........

It's better than feeling like 13/m, Jane. That's gotta suck.

33/f/Scorpio here. Although after reading Theo's post in the Homeschooling post *ducking*, I think I may be only 16.

Nah, Cali likes those too. I'm a Bunny. (commonly referred to as a Rabbit in Chinese astrology, but I like calling myself a Bunny better)

Kat, wish in one hand...

Chris Matthews just said, "A three way deal" when talking about the Taint.

What is the Fed's interest rate now? .5% 0%?

I love bad santa. It is one of my favorite billy bob movies and the only Xmas I will watch now.

Jane, I'm so worn out with my double life.

Joe, you're just a youngun, and happy birthday, and say hello to deflation now due to the interest rate. Sigh.

Happy Birthday to Joe!
Happy Birthday to Joe!
Happy Birthday, Mr. Hotness, Happy Birthday to Joe! :)

Oh, and 41/F/cancer

QT

and Kat, I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a bunny with a roll of toilet paper on his head.

Chris Matthews rocked today...got totally out of hand about WMD in Iraq and all the lies they're still telling.

Leigh, RU rly Ady??? The mind boggles. You know who ceu is then, right?

I common language please explain deflation. I am to young to have experienced it. I hope it is when I get to eat my dogs and grow a victory garden to survive.

Before I go, Happy Birthday to Joe!

How do we encourage people to deposit money into money market accounts, the same accounts that fund most short term lending?

We do another rate cut, that's how. "There, now they're getting less tomorrow than they were today! That oughta get them to buy our money markets for sure!"

And the Fed wonders why money is so tight.

Try raising the interest rate for once. Tell Wall Street to fuck off for twenty four hours and drop a few hundred points. We all know today's rally will last as long as it takes to open trading tomorrow. Once the market tanks again, then what will our illustrious Fed do?

Joe, the dogs and the garden should guarantee your survival long enough to see cannibalism make a comeback.

(Thanks Bush!)

Bob - I'm all in favor of giving free money to the banks... as long as it's done in THIS manner:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ybQpfr2-1M&feature=related

Yes, it's me. Also my guess is Chris.

Thanks Lame, see ya.

Hello Pooper.

I bought a mutual fund this year in June and it has lost 55%. I bought gold for fucks sake.

Eeeeexactly, Joe. Happy birthday--here's some deflation.

Need a drink and then I might could explain deflation and other stuff and such...

Also, I'm a dumbass b/c I thought QT was telling us she HAS cancer upthread.

Joe,

Your mutual fund will recover, so long as you don't sell it, and put the money into a money market, where you'll get what, 1%? Maybe less by now?

Money markets buy US Treasury securities. These types of short term securities are explicitly for short term needs. Otherwise, a money market account is nothing more than a decent yielding savings account that isn't insured. But money markets are absolutely necessary for short term lending to happen in this country. Why would anyone put money into a money market that isn't insured, for the risk of earning one percent?

Tweety ripped Frank Gaffney a new one. :)
Frank finds it regrettable that people had to die in this war. Yeah. Regrettable.

to whomever asked, I heard the new rate is .25%.

Joe - Happy Birthday!

Packy, good video. I am sure the spazy white guys on wall street would jump right in.

No QT doesn't have cancer she is cancer. Watch out it spreads.

capricorn. Note it, bitches.

cue, noted.

Addileigh, ding ding for the win. It's a small blogtopia after all (thanks Skippy!).

Cheney War Crimes Tribunal on KO. GO!!

TheJoe! Happy birthday. Since it's that day AND snowing does that mean you will be reborn tonight, right here on GDAB's most awesome open thread?

Yes, my sanity would be gone without this outlet. I say go for a Morning Open and and Afternoon Open too, Bob. Or one of them. You might save some of us from the rubber rooms.

Oh, 40+/f/cancer (but not that one if tests come back good)/moving to PA where the hotties are--WHOA, Joe: Drop The Dog! Step away.

Who is Leigh, if not Leigh?

DP, it is a chihuahua so it would only make one meal. But the other chihuahua is going to have puppies. I am sure they will be tender.

Yay DP has survived a day of speculums and scalpels! xxxooo

One and only shoe comment. Bush just forgave the thrower and told the Iraqis to basically let him go.

Tender little puppies. Oh, shit. You could stay warm like Janie and glue them to your body.

mmmmm....tennnnnder puuuuuppies....like soft-shell crab...

Ouch, are you ok DP?

Yes, Jane. Death by speculum and grabber thingie has always been my favorite way to go.

Huh. Bush shows compassion for an enemy combatant (the Shoe Bomber).

I think Gypsy's va-jay-jay is talking to me.

Been better, Joe, thanks. Let's just say "ouch" sums it up well. In a few weeks I get the really fun stuff, assuming it isn't cancer in which case

ugh.

I got to serenade my doctor with "Underdog" by Ted's band (my cell ring) when my son's idiot friend called during the procedure. Twice. My idiocy was forgetting to turn it off but it was funny listening to my daughter holler at the guy to fuck-off and stop calling while my mom's feet are in the stirrups and the doc is invading with not the normal stuff. Bet the doc is telling his wife about that ordeal over dinner.

John Turley just said Cheney is guilty of war crimes.

Bob, the Cheney defense is that no one will prosecute them so it isn't a crimes. I am thinking Harry Reid could grow a ball and do something now.

DP! Good to see you - you have been in my thoughts. I hope your speculum was toasted over a lovely open heating pad.

Step away from Gypsy's gina, Jane. Just step away.

Is KO channeling the GDAB again? I could have sworn Bob just posted something about Bush and the Taliban.

Thanks, Kat. The speculum was the least of my ills. It's the tissue grabber about a foot north that smarted.

Now we've run off all the guys. Ooops.

Capricorn as well - I knew we had something in common ceu. Like the 'tude.

(wants a cool ringer like Underdog...)

damn that ceu. She comes around showing off her ginormous brains, and the guys just fall for it...

Capricorns, dude. They are fierce.

Here it is, Jane.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=In_ho0sEPb8
My daughter put the mp3 on my Razr just before the Iowa primary. I left it there through the whole election. It worked!

Goddamn. Ady. Hm. The NC hizzy party needs to become teh Carolinas hizzy party. Any opposed? No? Didn't think so.

Travis, also.

still here.

It starts at about 1:40

Oh, that Ted's Band. (Yay Scrubs!)

Good, Joe. You really are tough. Most guys go screaming over this shit.

That "speed of lightning" line always reminds me of some Xmas song or another...must sing along...oohh ahhhh ahhh AHHH AHHH AHHHHHHH...

I have seen some shit. I can't believe people are still fighting on Lee's previous post.

...or is it just me? (Should I just do that Open Thread in My Head thingy now?)

Jane, it's Leigh, if you're NASTY! And I'm a Gemini--oh yes, one of THOSE...

I want to kill that Casey Anthony bitch. Is that wrong?

What did I miss? Who is Leigh? (Sorry, Leigh. I'm lost as usual. Did you change names or I missed your entry? Or you haven't been around for a while?)

And where the fuck is Ashby?

KO is stripping bare the rules changes B@&$( is making before he leaves office. That shit just makes me splutter. I can't even form the proper expletives to properly express myself.

Hey I'm with you, Miss South Carolina and such as. Arrest teh crazy Casey. Bury her under the jail. She has those crazy Republican eyes...

"The President is just full of crap"
Keith Olbermann

:)

Six feet under the jail would work for me.

Ceu! A funny and not a news flash! I heard KO say it but it's best coming from you.

Nah....she should go in the jail. It would be a far greater punishment. Other inmates really don't like people who mess with kids.

Good point, Kat.

No, Jane, I think I could kill her with my bare hands, if I had the chance...she makes me that furious.

DP, my name shows up differently on another site, but I know Jane from TPC. (Well not KNOW, but know...ya know?)

Do we all understand 'deflation' now? No need to, really. We'll be living with it soon enough.

DP,

Shorter GDAB:

Theo (who wants Obama's autograph tattooed on her collarbone) is 17/f, Kat has an extra-special bisexual network communicator!, Bush was caught on tape being sober for a change, Leigh has another name on other blogs when not slumming here, GI never said "boxers/briefs/commando" but did have both nips pierced, ceu and Kat would rather give birth to a T Rex monster than have their respective nips pierced, Gypsy loves crunching ice and has perfect child-bearing hips, QT just can't handle it when we get all unruly like that, and apparently we should all just Thank God for everything.

I don't follow the Casey Anthony thing very well but is it one of those things were the mom loves the child so much they had to drown the kid in the bathtub.

Ah.

TPC? You guys are just fucking with my head. First my bajingo, now my head. It jsut isj't my day. Now I can't type. Must sleep. KO's not even over and I'm down and out.

Anyway, hello Leigh. and g'night all. Tomoorow has to be better.

Oh, Leigh, by the way, I put your diaper-ballgag-bustier in the wash. You might want to hang it up to dry.

Thanks, Jane. I now feel caught up. Really, reealy caught up. You should do GDAB Cliff Notes. Quarter a sentence work?

Boxer briefs. Jane

KO: Baghdad Bob's Country Bunker. That's funny shit.

Of course. The sexiest ones. Blue, right?

....g'night. (keep peeking)

'Nite DP.

GI, this Casey just seems like she couldn't give a shit about having a kid, not even enough to come up with a better story when the kid went missing.

(Long weekend of sleep interrupted by brief watching of True Crime on Court TV or something.)

Nice recap Jane.

Yay for teh Boxer Briefs! Can we just convince every hetero male out there who wears the tidy whities to make the switch?

G'night DP!

Yes, yes, yes, Jane! I would sign a petition for that! Chicks like boxer briefs!

Nite DP, I am sick of the s-word shit.

Cheney makes me physically ill.

If you are ever with a man who wears titty whiteys run the fuck away. These guys are way to uptight. Send the petition jane.

I am talking about a serious mamas boy, ivy league, conservative asshole.

Run ladies(and gentlemen)!!

Casey Anthoney killed her 3 year-old daughter, put her in a trash bag and drove around with her body in the trunk of her car until she couldn't stand the stench. Then she buried her near her home...and now I want to kill the little twit.

Rachel is killing the Cheney revision.

Fool me twice. LMAO!! How did we reelect this asshole?

S-word...speculum? Snow? Sagittarius? Sirota? Spazzy? Soft-shell crabs? Scrubs?

Circular file. Hah. Classic

Rachel is kicking ass and taking names tonight. Goddamn, she is insanely fucking hot.

Shoe. I hate shoes now. I am going commando on the foot from now on.

I think the whole Casey/Caylee story is what brought MaryN (teh grammar Nazi) out here in the first place...at the time I had no idea of the story.

commando foot...hmmmm...

Agreed Kat! May I? I am not sure if I am allowed to say Rachel is hot.

Very nice, Jane. When I told you to try to keep up a few nights ago I didn't expect you to take it to heart. :)
Thanks, Spacecowboy. Capricorns have to sneak our birthdays in amongst the holidays. [And I don't really have a 'tude - I just type tough.]

I'm trying to shop for Christmas - and I hate shopping. I look at shit and then 2nd guess & 3rd guess...ugh! If they write down exactly what they want I'm ok, but picking them out on my own? Not so much. It was easier when they were little - I bought toys I wanted - figured they'd learn to like them. :)

You can say it, GI. How can you not?

And one of them wants a yacht. (sigh)

Jeez, I got here late.
So: Hi all!
Joe: Happy birthday! You're wonderful (and hot!)
DP: Hope you're feeling okay and all.
And...Scorpio, 17, female, California.
I totally support the GDAB-Clif-Notes idea. Also, I think we should have a place to post a picture of ourself so we can all figure out who the hell we're talking to.

I just luuuuuuuvvvvv the way PE Obama saunters...it's really hot.

Let me try the recap:

Birthday/DP in serious lady part pain and is gone/Rachel is hot/ Astrology/ Casey Anthony must die/Titty Whiteys.

Hey Joe, one last time I'm gonna mention the S-word.

I don't think Casey Anthony should die, but she she should suffer.

Otherwise, that all sounds correct to me.

It's 'tidy' or 'tighty', GI baby. 'Titty Whiteys' takes it to a completely different place.

Ceu, I'm still lucky enough that I can buy my kid toys he likes. He got a Wii Fit for his birthday - I fucking love it. I think when I was in my early 20's though, all I wanted was cash. Or gift cards. It was all about the benjamins back then. Actually....it sort of still is.

Lotsa water signs here, if I may be so Californian...(whilst feeling Minnesotan after youse guys kept me up so late laughing and lolling)

That was the best s-word remix I have seen yet Jane.

Jesus I am fucking dumb. Thanks kat. Another GDAB Freudian slip.

Totally understandable in this sea of estrogen, Joe.

I'm the sun to your water(s)...(there's NO way that can be true).

Gemini, that is.

Ceu, I'm a non-breeder, but I enjoyed buying presents for my older brothers' kids like this.

Heh.

Your older brother is gonna hate you, Jane. I hid that fucker as soon as I could get it away from him. Either that or I'd give it to Aunt Jane as one of those toys she keeps at her house.

David Sirota on Rachel. :D

And because I thoroughly enjoy kicking a dead horse when he's been beaten down, here's Teh Rude One's take on teh shoes.

Non-breeder? Explain.

Yes estrogen sea is fucking with my man typing powers. I need a beer and a steak that should stir up the Manogen. So one say something about lady parts again.

Kat: That was years ago. No repercussions! I have no idea what to get Teh Kids Who Has Everything anymore.

And the lead paint and general dangerosity and unsafitude (peeance freeance) ensures my bros don't "bring their kids to Aunt Jane's house." Hence my non-hurry to fix things up.

GItheJoe, Kids:Never had 'em, never will. (Non-breeder is a term used frequently by teh Gayz and people like me who never had the child-bearing "urge." Like Casey Anthony, apparently.)

Awww....Rachel likes bunnies. I'm already searching for my wedding dress on The Knot.

Kat, I think it was a prairie dog.

Jane you should be a sex education professor at a high school. I have never met your model. You must create an entire generation of women/girls just like you.

I got two kids with a pain the ass ex wife. Love the kids hate the ex. They are twin girls.

Hah. Obama said poop!

You are stomping on my fantasy, Joshua. Rachel loves bunnies, okay?

Kat, don't use my christian name on the intertubes. The feds are watching. Sorry, it was kind of mean. Your right it was a prairie bunny.

Ohh...today is Beethoven's birthday too. That's exciting, GI! I love Beethoven. Although Bach's Air in D is my favorite classical piece.

Twins? Good lord, no way could I ever deal with twins...sheesh.

Damn, no way I should be allowed to watch this show...now I want to kill that woman who killed her kid again.

For the love of all things holy (and unholy), don't bring up religion, GI. At least not until tomorrow after the GDAB has taken a breather. And it was a totally cute Kat-like fuzzy bunny.

Kat, I just did a holy shit I was born on the same day as the one of the greatest composers of all time. When I was younger I could play Fur Elise.

No way should I...(just kidding)

Yeah twins is punishment for being an asshole when I was a kid. Sorry Kat/Bunny/Katny?

Here is my apology Kat. You will love it and it is real.

http://www.aboutlife.com/files/Herman%20Giant%20Rabbit.jpg

Joe: I thought you were just the short part of teh clip holding the sign. Was that you speaking also??

And hey beeyotchez: I share a birthday with Osama. (And one of my bros shares a birthday with Obama. Weird.)

I'm just giving you crap, GI. And that is one gigantic damn bunny.

I think I'm off to bed. I can't take the after-midnight nights like I could 10 years ago. Or perhaps more accurately, I can't sleep until 11 a.m. after late nights anymore.

(will have nightmares about giant bunnies now)

what up peeps? i see the party is on as usual…

love the recap jane!

in short

29-sagittarius-female-blood type unknown…

cannibalism will be the new atkins…

obama is SO “do me on the white house lawn” hot…

don’tpanic made it through her day…yeah…

my vagina has talked about you guys all day…

and happy b-day big boy!

Giant bunnies with or w/o the pancake or waffle?

by the way...ruprayn from homeschool post is cra-zae-zie...

Methinks Leigh likey teh Airplane.

Gypsy, your vajayjay (bajingo?) was talkin' to me today. Or else I was tired and hungover.

Yes, Jane not only can I hold a sign I can speak in full sentences when asked a question by a reported unlike our current Pres.(really want to run for office after Army career)

Giant bunnies will get you all.

Nite Kat. I will be thinking of you when I get up at 11 am.

Leigh No pancakes just giant bunny.

Hello! Gypsy. Please tell me more about the native American beginning of the earth. I loved that story.

of course she was talking about you...i was speaking on her behalf about 80 percent of the time last night.

Teh Kidnap Czar got kidnapped? Fuck it, I'll just get my news from the Onion from now on.

Hey, Joe, you only said you were the guy with the sign, not that you were the one doing the talking. Didn't want to assume here.

P.S. Yes, VERY hottt. (More closer footage!)

there are multiple stories of creation this was just my grandmothers favorite...

the girl falling through the hole...

land being lowered from the air with strings from the sun and moon...

a water beetle flooding the land...

just to name a few...

as you can imagine each tribe has different story

joe you really moving to my town in may?

I heard that story on Rachel--the kidnapping expert being kidnapped himself.

Really does sound like some shit that would happen to me.

gi have you noticed that when i post something on the "day threads" NOBODY responds to me! hehe... i am like w-t-f? am i not making my point or did i make my point to well and they got nothing to say?

ahhh...i luv me sum ice! crunch crunch

BJ here - 54/M/Gemini/Horse/boxers

Hap B'day GIJmanogen and Beethovan.
Glad you survived da bite dp.
Jane, thanks for teh 32 clevages on your blogtopia link.
Managed to dodge all teh shoe & religion discussions.
That is one big bunny, but it's missing it's pancake.

BJ, clevages?? (tested my links. Does not compute?)

Gypsy,

Nothing is ever a sure thing in the Army. I haven't got orders to move there yet but I hope so.

I have about 6 months of training to do before I ever really get to S.C. but I should be there for 3 years.

also...you can get a little idea of what i look like here....

http://www.facebook.com/people/Ashley-Ollis/1418286971?

it is one of those mall funny shots...not the best photo but that is all i have online right now

That works I will be in Charleston tomorrow. Damn!

Hey I am going to step out for a little birthday fun but I will be back.

More ice!

Jane, I looked again and the pics are gone. Under the definition are some pix links, it was one of those when I got there the first time. Fluke.

have fun gi tha joe!

BJ, if you meant cleavage, you're welcome.

Ahhh, in honor of Charleston and love and lust, Clare.

Jane, perfect.

This can't be true. If it wasn't so sad, it'd be hilarious. (I'm Ady over there).

http://thepoliticalcarnival.blogspot.com/2008/12/bush-is-there-for-obama-in-case-of.html

This is perfect.

Revenge is Play-Doh.
I know because I once gave my niece a Barbie playset with 104 pieces.... I was young. I didn't know better. But i found out...

This is fabulous! (for the son of the kid who got the 104 piece Barbie shit.)
http://www.fatbraintoys.com/toy_companies/melissa_doug/clapping_elephant_push_toy.cfm

ceu: beware of teh internet shopping this late at night...you might accidentally buy cleavage or something.

Perfect is as perfect does...Damn it, Jane, I always follow your links and then get lost watching other shit--"Ahhhh, I do like Airplane." I must have ADD of the highest order.

But you all really should go comment on the link I posted...too easy, that one.

Oh Adeleigh, I think you said it all. What could we add? "Imagine taking advice on how to handle a crisis from Bush...natural disasters (how to ignore one), wars (how to start one), the economy (how to totally destroy one) and the such as..."

(Still disturbed by the Posse Comitatus post over there, actually; that and giant bunnies...)

(Tonight's nightmare: "Open thread for documenting the constant variety of cable news hackery and whatever else.

Tonight! Giant bunnies!")

I scoff at buying cleavage, Jane. I grew my own & feel that others should do so, too.

I'm dying here. I found a really cute demin jumper for my niece, but I can't really give her clothes and give the boys toys, ya know?

That just can NOT be true...Bush actually handling a crisis???? He MAKES them. Holy hell...

Yes, Posse Comitatus is disturbing, but it also makes me think of Post Coitus, and it really shouldn't--two TOTALLY different things.

Ohhhh...a stethoscope. Want to play doctor, little boy?

yes Janeavage it twas cleavage

but afta readin mostly tonight i'm beat and goin down for teh count...hasta luego GDAB-Go!

Somebody tell me how the Kidnapping Expert managed to get himself "kidnapped"--irony of the highest order, yes? If that don't beat all. How in the hell did that happen?

Ceu, are you getting dirty with your nephew? That will surely land you in a recap soon...

Leigh, where were you at 10:18 pm? Please try to pay attention.

Holy carp I can't believe these 20-plus year old prank phone calls are suddenly on teh Youtoobs. (I'll never get to sleep now...)

Kids, check out Mark Knopfler and learn.

Holy shit, Jane, that sounds like my little brother!

I still want to know HOW that dude got himself kidnapped. I've always worked in finance and accounting, what kind of ironic thing could happen to me? (Aside from my kid who's currently failing math).

Leigh/ADDy, re Poetic Justice: I am thinking of Dana Perino getting a black eye from a microphone in the shoe-bomber aftermath. (See Bob archive here, about 1:30, listen to reporter.)

Tom Cruise on Letterman is NOT funny or cute.

And, yes, I would kick him out of bed in a tsunami or some such other thing like that.

Awake again. My son (on day of all days for me) woke up this morning and apparently ate a bowl of stupid flakes. He's sitting in the Dublin, VA jail after wrecking, DWI, 2 people hurt but okay, probably had his hunting rifle (no license--taken away last year after hunting w/o license), no VA license to drive (after a stupid day with a joint last year and never bothered to pay to get driving priv. back up there...Goddamnit. And when he got his DWI at age 17 I did all the mommy things, bailed him out middle of the night Christmas night, drove him to court and all the crap that goes with it, work and GED for over a year...and said don't call me if it ever happens again. He hasn't called. My neighbor, sister of one of the passengers, called. Guess I have my family's first jailbird--possibly for a long time. Little shit. Just thought I'd share that since I cannot and may never sleep again. Didn't even call this afternoon to see if I was alive after the shit I went through. Boys. They'll break your heart.

Yes, Dana "I Don't Know the Difference Between The Bay Of Pigs And The Cuban Missile Crisis" Perino getting her eye dotted by a microphone is both ironic and Poetically Just.

I guess it would be ironic if I was beaten senseless with a 10-Key or something?

Geez, DP, your day (and now night) has totally sucked ass. Sorry about that. Please tell me that my 2 sons won't be breakin' MY heart. Please?

Oh Leigh-a-go-go, I so agree about Tom Cruise. Johnny Mnemonic would have been a great comedy if they'd have just given him more lines.

About your ironic ending: I'm thinking of Office Space:

"You know, corporate accounts is sure as hell gonna notice $305,326.13 Michael!"

Shit, DP. Sorry.

On the other hand: Quick! Change the locks!
(And just tell people your son's in Dublin--sounds better...)

"a 10-Key"

-you're welcome.

Back, Holy shit DP! I am so fucking sorry. That is horrible. Is everyone OK?

DP, what Jane said. Quickly, very quickly!

And Jane, I could have an Office Space ending, but I was just wondering why I'm now insisting that my ending has to be ironic. Let's hope the Kidnapping Expert/Negotiator turned kidnapping victim doesn't meet his ending. It's so embarrassing. What will the neighbors say?

Seriously, I could never grieve properly if he was in my family and he died after being kidnapped b/c I couldn't even explain it to anyone with a straight face. But, on the other hand, I have 5 more fingers!

Bestest Teevee evar, next to Daily Colbert (and maybe Craig Ferguson, and ummm):
Joel McHale on Olbermann, and the Just Enough guy on Rachel.

I am watching "Black Snake Moan" it is fucking great. I know you can beat me up for it. But to see a young black man run out of Samuel Jackson's house with pants around his ankles is great.

Sucks ass. Bites the really big one.

This is the 2nd time in 3 years he's given me a Big Fuck You for xmas. This year I'm returning it to him. My bajingo is berserko and the uterus that once held the little bastard is in some unknown crisis. Somehow seems appropriate. Leigh? Just boot 'em out now. Save yourself the heartache of when they get a car. Nebraska has those safe havens--wonder if they'll take 'em at twenty?

Dublin, yes I like that. It's so green there. He's visiting Packy's relatives and playing tourist in the pubs.

Ferguson has a big feather and he's stroking himself with it, says Craig: "I learned this bit from 'Real Sex' on HBO. Shall I tickle your sexy bits?"

(Ummm, "Yes he shall!"!!!)

DP, I am not the guy to give advice but if you son is of age get his ass to the military. That doesn't mean Iraq. The Coast Guard is military but they don't deploy to Iraq and would straighten up anyone. Just trying to help.

Again, sorry for you heartache.

Seriously, DP? I should just kick 'em out or drop 'em off at the hospital from whence they came?

They're very young, but if you say so...I guess, I have no other choice.

(Can you get the uterus yanked on outta there?)

Leighadyoyevich- I vote for taking them to the hospital. Maybe you can get a refund.

Shit DP, I just re-read your original post. Holy fuck balls. I have two girls and don't know what i would do if they were in some shit but today is such a bad day. Anyway, I have never meet you but you were the first to reply to me on this site and welcome me. You are family now and a friend. I take friendship serious so if you need anything ask.

Leigh, if their young, there's hope for a while. Watch who they hang out with.

Joe, I've tried that. My dad was Coast Guard but they have standards my kid can't meet (GED ain't one of 'em). He even knows rope stuff that would put a hangman to shame because he loves doing tree work--taking them down, not planting them, the only work he really loves. He loved ROTC in High School but refuses to "obey" anyone he has no respect for so he's probably better off in "Dublin" than in the brig or whatever. He thinks rules don't apply to him right now and the military doesn't play that game. I used to tell him I would shoot his foot before they'd draft him into their dirty little war. Now that it might wind down I may shoot it if he doesn't, assuming "Dublin" doesn't like him so much they keep him.

I'm sticking to my guns, so to speak, and not bailing him out. No lawyer from me--hell, I'm on disability and couldn't bail him out anyway. Little shit has been slacking off job hunting for over 3 months and owes me his part of the groceries for that long--almost half the bail. He can get an apartment at the local crack hotel and maybe learn to appreciate what he had here.

>>. Anyway, I have never meet you but you were the first to reply to me on this site and welcome me. You are family now and a friend. I take friendship serious so if you need anything ask.

Thank you very much, Josh--er, Joe. I'm amazed that you remember my greetings. And thanks to all of you for letting me be the bummer on such a great evening here.

DP, Go to bed honey. Drink/medicate yourself to bed. Everything will be better with a good night of sleep. I don't know anyone that hasn't learned their lesson from one night in the clink.

Seriously, DP, throw some alcohol or other medication at it...get a Snuggie, put on some relaxing music, put yer feet up, and read a novel. Also, if you have a fireplace, make a fire.

See, are you tired yet?

Duh. Note to all: Never make a fire in your house if you don't have a fireplace...

Shit leigh, I just started piling up the wood in my living room.

Joe: ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION!

Fucking stones won't make enough spark. Fuck it. Thanks Jane.

Ah...LOL, y'all.
We have gas logs...so I can turn "ON" a fire.

I wish I could sleep, but I'm a chronic insomniac.

Joe, no fire for you!

Leigh, I have so many sleep disorders that I have started naming them. I can function just fine in normal society after coming home from war but I can beat the sleep thing. I either don't sleep or I sleep all the time. Either way I am always tired.

My life is really Fight Club. I do want ever Taylor tells me too.

I've never been in a war, but I haven't slept for going on 3 years now. Yes, there are drugs, but they made me sleepwalk. That and I was afraid of taking the Lunesta b/c of the ad on tv with the butterfly visiting you in the morning--too "Silence of the Lambs" for me.

How do you sleep all the time? Just suddenly fall asleep and keep on sawin' logs? How's that work?

I'll be up all night. No alcohol here. Tea. Tried reading and can't. Will stare at tv, I suppose. Step outside in the cold rain for a few cigars.

Thanks for everything, guys.

Music for my fellow (goddamn awesome) insomniacs:
Kick The Stones, Chris Whitley.

Sadly, Mr. Whitley died of lung cancer.

It is cheesy but there is one thing that works like a charm. Exercise. Take a long walk go for a jog. Do some sit ups and push ups. You will sleep like a baby if you work your body. Tomorrow I am starting my gym routine again and getting the depression out of me.

As a man, there is another thing that makes me tired. But ladies, it makes you want to bake a cake or clean the house. I still haven't figured out that one.

Good nite Y'all. I am out. Chris Rock is on for some comic relief.

Good luck, DP. I'm putting my time tonight to good use--packing my sons some clothes for when I return them to the hospital at first light.

Joe, yes, I know I need the exercise.(hangs her head in shame). Good night to ya...

Get the fuck out! They just figgered out who killed Adam Walsh's kid. 27 years later.

(going to bed already...)

I missed Chris Rock. Goddamnit. I needed me some Rock last night. What channel, Joe, and might they rerun it when I'm not in a fucking crisis?

hahahaha. this is so fitting after reading the last couple of comments. i just read a study on sleep disorders! the latest problem is called "sleep-mailing"; emailing, bloging, chatting while completely asleep! attention jane, leigh, githejoe, and don'tpanic!!!!

I only send text messages when I am asleep. My problem is the little voice inside my head won't shut the fuck up. So I have to take things to make him stop talking. BUT THE MOTHERFUCKER WON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!

does anyone on here have a body part that does not speak to them?

GET BOB CESCA FOR CHRISTMAS!

I love Bob's book One Nation Under Fear so much that I picked up a few extra copies for Christmas.

If you're willing to post a review of Bob's book on Amazon.com, I'm willing to send you a free copy! Email me at toliveistosuffer@gmail.com.

(PS: If you're just after a free book and have no intention of writing a review, pretend. I'm gullible.)