I don't want to be nice to trolls and fundies!!! I want to STOMP and ANNIHILATE!!! I'm tired of belonging to the nice party, I want to belong to the take no f'ng prisoners, toe our f'ng line or die party. Monday is going to be a really painful day for me. You know the D's (including Obama) will be all nice and inclusive and the R's will come out swinging their dicks and refusing to cooperate. Ugh.

PS- Why have the intertube g-ds not fixed it so I don't get a DAMN SPELL CHECK ERROR WHEN I TYPE OBAMA????!!!?!?!?!?

/end cranky

I get a spellcheck error when I type spellcheck.

Didn't realize the OED says it's two words.

Dammit Bob, some people need to see security footage of people hitting other people with guns. It's a medical condition, okay? It's called... it's called... I'll get back to you when I think of a clever name for it.

Very impressive rant, Paddy.

I linked to this op-ed from Paul Krugman today (from the HuffPo) where he calls the Republican Party "a party of whiners":

"Some of the whining almost defies belief. Did Alberto Gonzales, the former attorney general, really say, “I consider myself a casualty, one of the many casualties of the war on terror”? Did Rush Limbaugh really suggest that the financial crisis was the result of a conspiracy, masterminded by that evil genius Chuck Schumer?"

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/02/opinion/02krugman.html?_r=1&ref=opinion

He gets so close to true snarkiness...but pulls back just in time.

That was my version of miscellany, by the way.

From the Krugman article, courtesy o' Kat;

Where did this hostility to government come from? In 1981 Lee Atwater, the famed Republican political consultant, explained the evolution of the G.O.P.’s “Southern strategy,” which originally focused on opposition to the Voting Rights Act but eventually took a more coded form: “You’re getting so abstract now you’re talking about cutting taxes, and all these things you’re talking about are totally economic things and a byproduct of them is blacks get hurt worse than whites.” In other words, government is the problem because it takes your money and gives it to Those People.

Swish! Nailed it.

As usual, Paul Krugman was far too kind calling the Republicans whiners. They are ignorant, delusional whiners.

I'm afraid I'll be missing what will surely be a riveting evening of programming over on MSNBC. But I'll be watching the remainder of VH1's 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs. It will probably be AC/DC's "Back in Black," but I've got a soft spot for Metallica's "Enter Sandman."

Heh:

"From Foamboy:
If a thing is deemed
"Too Big To Fail," then please don't
Put fucktards in charge."

Haiku submitted to the Rude Pundit.

I have to confess that I am not ready for the post partisan universe.

My idea of reaching across the isle is so I can slap the shit out of the republican douchebags.

We're not the nice party.

We're the only party.

Addendum to Lee's post:

BOOMSHAKALAKA!

One more congressional election should limit the GOP to the south and midwest.

However, I heard Rush balling about a part of the Obama stimulus package that should fix this problem in my lifetime.

"Internet and libraries in rural America, $100 Billion."

This will open the eyes of young voter in Kentucky and let them know that black people will not steal their job and eat their babies. It should also but a slow end to the,"But my Pa told me it was..."

The future looks got.

@ Joe - That depends on rural America's Google search. I'm guessing "God", "Christianity", "Conservative" and "Sarah Palin 2012" will be at the top of their list.

Along with "Britney Spears" and "Definition of Virginity," Carl.

Don't forget "Abstinence Only" and "Creationism."

And "Jesus Fossils."

Reminds me: Kat, can you draw up a flow chart of the stages of Virginity as laid out here last night?

Perhaps a PowerPoint presentation Jane? Or if I was tech-saavy enough, something with animation. I wonder if the people over at sexinfo101.com would let me borrow their animation.....

Hmmmm. Where would we find people who know animation?

@ Kat:

Rumor has it that number one is actually Black Sabbath's 'Paranoid'

From what I hear, 'Back In Black' is two and 'Enter Sandman' is in the top five..

Yes, a Jesus fossil would be an awesome discovery but only if his remains were found riding a tyrannosaurus.

All I am saying is that some good book learning and the intertubes might break the back of stupidity and maybe the glorification of ignorance in our political leaders. "InshaAllah" (God Willing in Arabic)

I think it would be amazing if they found the skull of the Baby Jesus -prolly get a good chunk of change on eBay for that one...

We might be able to get Stranahan involved, Jane, but I don't know about Very Serious Author Mr. Bob Cesca. Unless we did some animation about feargasms, 'cause he loves him some of those. And feargasms are probably one of the stages of virginity, come to think on it.

A Tyrannosaurus? Now you're just being facetious.

Everyone knows Jesus was alive during the Jurassic Period, not the Cretaceous, and therefore would've rode a Stegosaurus. Back me up, Sarah Palin.

*BAM*

Not with buckshot to the upper back. But good effort.

I hate when an open thread devolves into the minutiae of Jesus' anthropology. Keep it light, people!

Now brother, you can't mix science with religion. The only periods are Genesis, Exodus, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John and my favorite Revelations which is our current time period.

Please ignore Leviticus. That is were all the "Pick and Choose" stuff comes from.

Sorry, Jane. Let's just all agree that Jesus and Fred Flintstones were BFFs and move on to the next subject: Moses Porn. Who's a fan?

Dontpanic says hey, and that you people are the shallowest bunch she's ever seen, and by god if she weren't having SO much damn fun getting stabbed with needles and such as, she'd be here.

Now we're talking about periods?! I leave the thread for 1/2 hour and...

Us? Shallow? How dare she lump us all in the same category with Redmond?

Did ya see this one:
http://thepoliticalcarnival.blogspot.com/2009/01/50-year-old-war-vet-stunned-by-new.html

Yeah! How dare she?

sorry...did I interrupt the shallow??

It's all good, ceu. And in response to the 50-year-old getting drafted: JESUS! Fossils.

Seen it, ceu. It's the 'Six Degrees Of Shit' at work (everything wrong in America today can be traced back to W).

We can always count on Chris to bring us back from the brink. The mental image of Moses porn was making me ill anyway.

Wait, Kat, you imagined something I said? Why would you do that? I don't even do that!

This thread is making me hungry.

Wait: Lack of food is making me hungry. Eureka!

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

OK, ceu went and fucked up my evening. Someone who is out of the fucking military for 15 years is out of the military. But I am sure Hannity and Rush are screaming that this man is a pussy. Can someone ask Cheney how to get this man one of his five draft deferments?

Brother Red (has image of you in Snuggie), do you ever get any gossip about people like Bear Grills or the ghost hunting guys or Anthony Bourdain (that would be rejected for lack of boobage yet I might find interesting?

Signed,

Real curious

Real curious,

I'm 90% certain you just made all those names up.

Signed,

SnuggieFan98

They are 80087355, so they'd never make it on your page unless they accompany some bikinification, that's for sure...

Oops that's 55378008, upside down...

Calculator joke. Bet ceu gets it

I do love me some Anthony Bourdain. Oddly enough, for someone I don't actually find very attractive, I want to do wickedly naughty things to him.

I totally got it. Because I'm a deviant and love numbers. Maybe a little too much.

Hey 5, how you doin'?

Or anyone old enough to have once had a pager, Jane. I, unfortunately, qualify.

I feel dumber just listening to the 'Ghost Adventures' spokesmodel Zak Bagans.

I left you a present, Jane :)

share it with Kat.

I'll admit I had a short-lived obsession with UFO Hunters on The History Channel. Until every episode ended with them finding absolutely zero evidence but still saying "Oh, boy, we found the aliens!"

Hey! tryin to eat here.

(Is it the pose that I find so creepy? Bet Kat'll like it.)

BOOBIES!!! I just got it. God I love booty, I mean boobies. Have to stay with PTT theme. Plus gypsy isn't here yet.

Red, don't tell him. He's in his happy place again.

Fuck I am dumb Jane. Holy crap that is BOOBLESS. What is that called when you read or hear what you want?

I call it being a man.

I find him creepy, period.

I'll have to delete it...

Guys, stay away from my wall...unless ceu gives the okay.

Why jane you pissed on my wall?

Suit yourself, Joe. I warned you.

So, where are we? Boobless Aliens?
Gypsy & I are working on our photo shoot with Lee (or Carl, if he has the right equipment).
My preference leans strongly on Rachel-- Miaowww!!

Teh Minx-- who is now Be-Dazzling her Slanket.

hmmmm?
I was just gonna put it up for a few minutes, but now CM's seen it & she's asking questions

Ya know, this no news on the teevee machine bites. There's nothing, NOTHING happening in the world that we should know about and discuss? aside from bullshit about Obama's vacation & Bush's neverending Fuck You, America tour, of course

I had to jane. I can't help myself.

'Cause that's how we roll in semi-crappy (Oh Stuff It, really-crappy) small communities in Wisconsin in the winter! That, and drinking, and such as. Also.
Minx

awwwwwww! so yer baby's baby had babies!?

Fucking CUUUTE

You can't kill my desire for Anthony Bourdain, Chris. I still want him. Just without the hunk of dead animal meat he's holding. Ick.

>>Ya know, this no news on the teevee machine bites. There's nothing, NOTHING happening in the world that we should know about and discuss?

There's plenty going on...............it's just that they all get a day off this time of year.....it's not like Boosh thinks there's anything to pay attention to....................the world can go to Hell...wait till 1/20/09 and criticize THAT ONE.........

Jane, that is my baby's baby daddy not the puppy. He is a 2 pound dog with a 1 pound pe-nay-nay.

Don't they realize that if they don't cover the issues we'll be forced to look to the intertubes for our news & then (gasp) think for ourselves??

Let's not be rash, Chris.

Jane, why is there an ad for an $88/hr prostitute on your myface?

Think for ourselves? What a novel idea....

And sheet....Joe said "pe-nay-nay."

Joe, it was like that when I found it.

So, I literally just spent the past hour putting stars on Amy Winehouse's nipples to make them SFW.

Hold me.

I did just to make a point. Don't worry I slammed my pe-nay-nay in the bathroom door after typing pe-nay-nay. Fuck that is three more times. Now I will never have kids...Wait?

Who's holding whose pe-nay-nay? What?

Really fucking dumb over here. WTF is SFW? No man should have to stare at the horror for that period of time. God I hope you have workers comp. Your eyes should have started poking themselves out by now.

I dunno. But suddenly I'm hungry for penne pasta. What does that say about me as a person?

And LameDuck is totally right. All the news organizations are on vacation. So now would be a bad time to throw a shoe. Wait for Monday. Or February sweeps!

Knock it off or you'll scare away the lurkers.

:) just sayin'....

I apologize. I'm watching "Crash: Next Great Depression?" on the History Channel, and I'm feeling all serious & grown-up.

Fine I will leave ceu.

Chris, how can there be lurkers? Can you see them? Then they don't exist.

Well I am watching Stuart Little with my daughters and feel like I want to look at Amy Whinehouse's nipple stars.

Red, is says that you have PTSD or is the STDs, specifically syphilis the third stage that causes dementia.

i saw a giant booty lit up in the sky and knew i must come to ptt...

how can enter sandman not be #1?

gi obviously you are not from the south or you would know that dumb doesn’t die that easy!

boobless…jane you are so 7 grade math class tonight and i will show you mine if you show me yours!

I have faith that they exist, Jane. Just like love, generosity and devotion exist. What a dreary place the world would be without lurkers. It would be as dreary as if there were no Janes.

Gotta wait for tomorrow, Joe. But in a sick, twisted, emotionally scarring way, those nipples have afforded me a day off tomorrow.

Gypsy, who was number one?

Amy Winehouse is still alive? I would have thought they would have found her dead surrounded by heroin needles by now. Drugs are bad, kids.

Jane, that was very spiritual of you at this hour. Don't make me go all "Lee's posts" on the PTT.

And BOOBIES...

I have PPTTSD. Post-prime-time thread sex disorder. I get it after ten most nights.

Redmond........Throw a shoe.........Throw early, throw often.....If you need more shoes, a ton were dumped today on some GOD-FORSAKEN-HIGHWAY in Miami.................

I love Guns N'Roses but I'm sorry... by default they should not beat Sabbath, Zeppelin or Metallica...

Dammit, Chris. Now you're making me cry!

*sniff*

I love you all! Even the ones who don't exist! But really do exist! Just don't want us to know that they exist!

Wait, GnR beat out Zeppelin? Are you kidding me?!

GnR was number 1? "Welcome to the Jungle?" That's just not right. Boo...hiss...

(I was going to watch it but instead I'm trying to watch this French film about a harem in Istanbul which I thought was going to have far more sex in it than it really does, so I'm totally disappointed.)

JESUS..............Guns N' Roses beat Zep...................there is no God.......

Bob's gonna get mad if this site gets more hits for a search for "boobies" than Red's does.

Well, mad or really, really proud.

Fortunately, LameDuck, (Or unfortunately now that I think about it), my wife has an insane plethora of shoes which I can whip at ne'er-do-wells. But again, only during sweeps. I'm pretty sure I can beat CSI in the 25-34 demo if I make Rick Warren eat an Old Navy flip flop. Or would he like that? Should I go with heels?

lameduck that was just all the crocs going back to their home...get it? crocs, shoes, nevermind

Yeah... 'Welcome to the Jungle' is one and it beat out...

Enter Sandman
Whole Lotta Love
Paranoid

Out of those four... you have to pick Enter Sandman.

Welcome to the Jungle?! You gotta be shitting me. I'm so mad right now I'm about to highjack Bret Michael's Rock of Love: Tour Bus and initiate a "No Strippers" rule. Yeah, then they'll be sorry. Razza frazzin' VH1...

Well GnR might have beat Zepplin in some silly teevee ranking, but Robert Plant was just named a Commander of the Order of the British Empire on Britain’s annual New Year’s Honors List announced by Queen Elizabeth II. So there!

ALEX------out of those four I pick "Custurd Pie."

Red, no contest.
Boobies + bobcesca.com = 255.
Boobies + your place = 238,000.

Never mind.

Okay, true story, I literally almost bought the GnR Greatest Hits CD the other day just for the hell of it.

Now I'm really glad I didn't. And Axl, yes, Enter Sandman definitely out of those four.

You are fucking kidding me GnR was number 1? That is bullshit.

Welcome gypsy.

Jane, they make drugs for PTTSD, it is called REDJOE

Lame, sorry about my dump truck load of shoes in Miami. They were suppose to go to Bob's House.

kat you have to get some indian(as in the country) porn! the colors, the powder/paint, going from so covered to bareass. gets me everytime! what like you guys don't have kinky fetishes!

i like welcome to the jungle but no way should it have beaten enter sandman...that is sacrilegious!

Redmond....................Chinese Democracy is $9.99 at BEST BUY today.................because most people gave up 12 years ago.........

yummm...did i just read redjoe...that's fun for the whole family...literally!

Mother of God!!! Gypsy, Indian porn is weirdest shit on the planet next to Lee's photos.

Enter Sandman, but only out of that list not best song ever. Which is "Imagine"

GnR isn't fit to clean Zeppelin's taint.

Yeah, no kidding, LameDuck.

On that note, has anyone ever read "Fargo Rock City" by Chuck Klosterman? The dude basically tries to frame all pop culture in the context of 80s hair metal. He sort of misses, but goddamn is it ambitiously awesome.

you think gi?! i want get into to it here but whaaaa?????

Indian porn? Hmm...I wonder if Netflix carries that...

And what Jane said.

wait! are you saying all pop culture can't be framed in the context of 80's hair metal? i'll see your miss and raise you a gilmore girl.

Gypsy, I believe 80s hair metal is the glue that holds our very nation together. Without we would've blown ourselves up years ago without knowing that Motley Crue was too young to fall in love. Dammit, could you imagine such a world?!

I believe there are large populations of people throughout this country with mullets and camaros that feel the same way and voted for McCain/Palin.

taint + bobcesca.com = 5,040 results.

Sexist google.

So the three brain cells that exist between Vince Neil, Nikki Sixx, Mick Mars and Tommy Lee are keeping our nation from jumping off a cliff? Well, I guess that is better than what's been in the WH for the past 8 years.

how dare you say camaro in my presence! 78 trans am all the way! yeah i can get that white trash and proud of it!

jane you could rule the world with only a laptop and a dream!

Kat, I really believe that the WH has been empty for the last 8 years.

There were only two decisions made during this entire presidency. Invade Iraq. Invade Afghanistan.

4 dead Israelis, over 400 dead Palestinians and Israel is massing on the border for invasion... (I was desperate & put on CNN)

Peace on earth, good will towards men.
Oh....that was last week!

If you had lived it, you wouldn't be so fond of it.

i love sappy movie endings (wiping tear)

"jane you could rule the world with only a laptop and a dream!"

Posted by: gypsysoul at January 2, 2009 11:30 PM

I have both and I can't even rule my own roost (she said, typing one-handedly over The Fat One)

(and no jokes about my other hand!)

I watched some Al Jazeera reports from Gaza today, Chris. Bad stuff. Bad, bad stuff. This is just not going to end well, any way you look at it.

gypsy, I almost said firebird. I wasn't ruling out the femullet.

Don't worry if it gets bad enough my ass will be in Israel fighting Hamas.

I am saying THIS here and now.

IF I AM CALLED TO DEFEND ISRAEL, I WILL REFUSE THAT ORDER BECAUSE IT WILL BE A HOLY WAR OF ARMAGEDDON BULLSHIT.

Ok, I must have contacted the FBI on that one.

Neo...

ok...my friend currently lives in abu dhabi...is she safe? it's surrounded by all the crazy and i'm worried?

Israel doesn't need US military support. They are perfectly capable of "defending" themselves. They're pounding the crap out of the Palestinians (400+ to 4) & now they're preparing to invade Gaza...and ain't no one gonna stop them.
Hell, they took on 9 (I think 9) countries in 1967 - The Six Day War.

Yea, she's fine, gypsy. She's nice and close to Saudi Arabia. Nobody's gonna let anything happen to Saudi Arabia.

gi someone just busted through my door demanding info on josh redmond. i said i don't know anything but gave him brothers blog site!

I'm completely lost.
My newly Be-Dazzled Slanket & I are going to bed.
Minx

Israel does need the promise of US military support though, Chris. If we threw up our hands and told the world that Israel was on its own, it wouldn't last long.

You rang?

It happens to me too, Minx. I just usually jump in on something that looks interesting. Have a good night!

wow brother i didn't even mention boobs! that takes uber skills!

Night Minx.

I have whiplash from this convo.

The question is, Why do we support Israel?

Ideological?

Political?

Financial?

thanks kat...i thought she was ok by the melted gold cascading down a wall at the new year's party she attended!

Fear of scary Muslims?

Love of all things crude?

gi is jonesing for some political talk! mg is proud!

love of all things crude! you forgot the "boo-yah"

Isn't this the time of the night where we are supposed to be engaging in shenanigans? What's with all the fucking serious political talk?

I think all your answers are right, Joe. It just depends on who you ask.

I ask because it would literally be a conflict of values and conflict of interest for me to deploy to Jerusalem.

I am dead serious I would throw away a spotless(except that one thing) military career if they send me to go fight in Baby Jesus land.

There's always that one thing...

Sorry, I am just really worried about some more stupid shit in my life. However, I keep forgetting that Bush is out and Barack is in. It does help me sleep at night.

And BOOBIES..

ooohhh i can't decide if i want to ask what that one thing is or let my mind run free!

Alright, kids, it's been fun. Time to hit the hay. Joe, let me know when you're ready to go AWOL. I can use my new GPS to find Canada. They have beer there, right?

Gypsy, I'll give you a hint: Baby Panda.

night brother i will check on amy's boobs in the a.m.

Nite, sensible ones.

I'm headed out too. My movie was a total disappointment so now I have to go read some decent erotica.

And Redmond...I know you aren't working tomorrow..but I still hope there are lots of boobs for you to snark about.

Thanks bro, I am pretty sure that it is Magnetic North, Grid North and True North of here.

All of the above.

Kat, you're right, we won't announce that Israel's on its own, 'cause it has the pretty much unconditional support of the US. But they don't need our help & I can't see a need for or an upside to the US getting involved in this conflict, except with an eye to ending it.

IIRC, Hilary Clinton supported a 2 state solution about 12 or 15 years ago. She was criticized for talking about it (the gall of the wife of the president to have actual thoughts of her own!) but she had some good ideas. Hopefully her being the Sec. of St. will be an asset for the peace-mongers this time.

GItheJOE.................There are many days that I have no idea what we are supporting in Israel's fight to Armageddon, but I suppose I'm supposed to support it....................

Kat, I swear. Vegas, baby. Vegas.

But, seriously, your good luck has me covered well into tomorrow so I can sit around in my boxers. Which is actually no different than any other day.

maybe brother is going to see boobs right now! maybe hit the hay actually means...dot...dot...dot...

night kitty kat

sorry

Excellent, Redmond. I try to encourage anything that will have a man laying around half-naked.

Bro, I thought you wrote in a huge bowl of rice pudding? Don't make me post the pic.

bobcesca.com jane = 10,300

Now after readin' all the good stuff here, everyone's fading off to bed.

Well, I am too. I just had to catch up. You've been having some fun and good pol banter as well.

gotta go..."fun" just walked through my front door. get out of the gutter jane because i'm getting in!

wow...wish there was a delete button! why am i so open on a public political blog?!

Rippd uterus now named Elvis until he shows up. It's tacked to the wall of pathology with a plaque for the name. Elvis, come on out and they will name it Waldo or name of your choice. Out again. Pain and dopey

Football soon. Must stay awake. Ow. More druts.