A turkey is all you'll get, Carlos. *kisses*

HEY!! Carlos is mine! Kinda, well sorta. Know him from back in the day. He went to school across from where I lived. He was a smart kid.

He's all yours, Paddy...I just play with him occasionally. Besides, I've already been instructed to keep my hands off anyone over 33.

Really like The ED Show.

really hate the name...

Haha. That's unanimous then. Love the show, hate the name. Looks to me like Ed is getting the hang of things.

This is hardly a big-time issue.... but I don't even think about how I feel about the title "The Ed Show".

Hi amigos. Que Onda?

Over 33? Oh lord, that makes me really, really old. I should keep my hands off anyone under 40.

Under 40? There is sex after 40? I thought that was a myth like the female orgasm.

you probably bought into the "there's sex after marriage" myth, too, didn't ya, Joe? :)

ceu,

Once, thus divorce. However, it should be, "There is sex after marriage but only until the robot uterus gets what it needs than their is only child support."

Joe, that's what you get for marrying a uterus, not a chick.

Jane, I married a Bible, Jesus, my parents(YUK) and a robot uterus.

And for not crushing up birth control pills and adding them to her morning coffee.

And you have my sympathy.

MARRY A STONER! They're probably infertile.

man, I hate women like Joe's exwife. There will sure as hell be sex after marriage in my marriage.
With that, hey guys.

There is an old Army saying, Sympathy is in the dictionary between shit and syphilis. I don't need your sympathy. There is this wonderful liberal invention called DIVORCE that works just fine.

infertile?

*goes outside with GF and "smokes"*

There's an even better invention called NOT GETTING MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

But hey, that's just me.

I would just like to say that not all marriages are bad. Mine is actually pretty damned good.

adding: my first one sucked tho

(btw...hi folks!)

Non Breeder and Non Committer?

I, GItheJOE, promise to NON COMMIT to you, JANE, for the rest of the PTT so help me FSM.

INSTITUTION!

Um, Jane? *cough* For future reference, you don't need to be married to get knocked up. *cough*

I know, it was a shock to me too.

Um, Jane? No...have I ever mentioned my kids? :)

New GDAB Feature, Go! Elvis Dingeldein's "Today In History,", bitches! Go git sum!

Ugh, why did I just Wax Redneckia there? WTF?

I was just prayin' and Thor, our Lord and Savior, spoke to me and He isn't cool with all this FSM worshiping going on here. He's asking nicely for you to eat your spaghetti, not genuflect to it.

P.S. He says he thinks Glenn Beck is a total douche and he can't wait to smash Glenn's nuts with his Hammer in Valhalla.

"There is sex after marriage but only until the robot uterus gets what it needs..."
I was already pregnant when I got married so I missed that part.

I want to institutionalize Nano. But I hear I'm not his type.

And laydies...I know all that. I was only referring to Joe's praising of The Divorce as a fucking Great Thing. Just saying, there are better things than Divorce. (My plan doesn't require a lawyer quite as often as his plan.)

Are you guys/gals/and others watching KO?

Cantor is a giant fuckhole.

Cantor has a punch-me-face as much as Glenn Beck does.

I'm calling out Joe's girlfriend as the biggest lurker EVAR!!!!

This is somewhat disturbing to chihuahua non-lovers...

Jane, I was referring to the stoners as non-fertile thing...

Nope, she is on MYSPACE and some girls blog that was raped and has HIV.

I know Elvis would say this about everything he writes, but the This Day post (next thread) is pretty fucking funny.

Chris, AHAHA! I love the way you think.

ceu, that is about right. Now if only I was smart enough to add audio to this post of screaming devils you could get the full effect.

I was teasing about her FB status, Joe. But thanks for the cold water bath.

Say, Kat, have you ever missed the PTT sooooo much you wanted updates when you couldn't go online yourself?

I had to change the subject. It was getting to personal for some and I knew it would only be a matter of time before I said something really fucking dumb.

BUT

KO just called Glenn Beck on his shit and will probably continue to rank him "worst" until Glenn is stopped.

Do you thing the family members of the cops in Pittsburgh can sue Beck?

Interesting question, Jane. And you know what? I don't think I ever have. I have multiple hobbies outside of the PTT.

How about you? Have you ever needed to know what was being said on the PTT so badly you had someone give you updates?

Kat, yup.

That is why I have a handheld.

You owe me an apology, Kat. It was FOUR in a row! Suck it, baby!

How is the failing superpower this evening?

The stock market is tanking, mortagages are bending over like a liberal male in a San Fran bath house, and the dollar is being used as toilet paper in Europe.

When does dog fighting become you national sport?

How is the failing Stupid power this evening, fucking Aussie monkey?

Dog fighting becomes we national sport right after 'you' becomes possessive.

Travis,

Ummm...the stock market(S&P 500) is up 20% from March 6th. Sorry, asshole. We have this thing called Yahoo Finance that has charts and graphs that monitor this type of shit. So all your credibility is GONE. Stop with bullshit talking points. Yes, the market is down -2.39% today but that is called PROFIT TAKING so the market will be up tomorrow. BET ME ASSHOLE!!!

Friends-

I've been a union member for most of my working life, and when I see the kind of trouble my friends at GM are in, I get real sad about the future of what used to be a great industry in our country, lead by proud UAW workers. These UAW workers and their families are gonna need some help real soon I'm afraid, so please keep them in your thoughts. Thank you.

Bob

I always want to reach into my television screen and hold Paul Krugman's head up straight.

In a completely non-sexual way.

GItheJoe said

Do you thing the family members of the cops in Pittsburgh can sue Beck?

Yes, they can.

Will they? and Can they win? are the real questions. I don't know the answer to either.

They *could* win. He shouted Fire in a crowded theater. I wouldn't hazard a guess as to whether or not I think you could convince a jury.

Kyle, heh.

Dammit, Carl. I knew I should have gone back and checked. Fine, I apologize for not properly recognizing your streak. Now what am I sucking?

HA! The WH press corps is stuck in Istanbul - plane broke down....

GItheDope...the make believe soldier...the market will plummet over the next month you GED drunk, like all of the white trash in the US military that needs NATO and Aussie help to fight their war.

I notice that you Yanks stay far away from North Korea and Iran.

oh, Chimp, wrong time to talk to GI about fake soldiering and Korea.
gets popcorn

Fuck you, chimpster, we liberals go to places near N. Korea to work, or to serve our country. Our liberal reporters brave restless places like Iran to report back the real stories. What do you do again? Oh right, you ran to THE UNITED STATES OF FUCKING AMERICA to take some fucking presumably overpaid job. When do you leave again?

Can the FSM (or Thor) grant the PTT a divorce from The Chimp? Because he's really worn out his welcome.

Not that he was ever welcomed in the first place.

Kat, we should just pray to the Cesca. Who worships Obama, if I have my Left Wing Talking Points correct.

Whew!!

Wild-ass Cesca thread tonight. Full moon? I'll check.

Just as long as I can end my supplications by saying "Ramen," I'll pray to whomever.

P.S. Kat, aren't you proud of Virginia Fox tonight?

We don't pray to Bob. We don't pray to Obama. We pray to the FSM so that the Raviholy Ghost may intervene on our behalf.

Hi BobMich. Here's me keeping all the folks affected by this crazy economy in prayer.

QT

Raviholy Ghost

Marry me, Kyle.

Wait, don't. Apparently that gets you pregnant.

Goddamn, chimpy is as much of a pussy as his namesake. Gone so soon?

Travis the Know it all!!!

Who the hell are you and what have you ever done with your life to be entitled to say such things about people you don't have a clue about?!?
We fought for this damn country so that idiots like you can sleep peacefully at night. Oh, but that doesn't matter anymore, so you think you can just shit on all the soldiers. I got news for you! Even if he did just have a fucking GED to get into the damn military, that is a lot more than what you can say for yourself. Oh, and by the way he's a fucking college graduate!!!

Travis,

FUCK YOU!!!! Seriously, WTF is an Aussie conservative doing bashing a US Soldier. It isn't my policy to let North Korea and Iran to act like assholes. It also wasn't my policy to invade Iraq. But, I had the BALLS to fight in the shit. Where were you? Vegas?

I believe the whole conservative platform of the 1960s was built off of the fact that hippies confused the War with the Warrior. That is just fucking sad that your party and platform is FUCK THE SOLDIER and GO KBR.

Again, FUCK YOU!

I despise Norm Coleman. I want to move to MN just so that I can vote against him.

Miss Southern Bitch...I believe that your name says it all....as in White Trash. If I were a betting man I would wager that you are the typcial overweight, bleached out blond, mulatto breeder with a rose tattoo on her obese ankle.

The Mason Dixon line notes a transition from an average IQ of 103 in the North to one of 83 in the South.

Now waddle along you old cow and make your baby Daddy(s) some grits.

I thought this guy got blocked a while ago?

oh shit it's about to get good on this thread! fe pass the popcorn!

Gee GI you really impressed me with your debating skills...what else would I expect.I am anti-American you lout, as most people in the world with half a brain air.

GItheJoe

I was a war protestor in the late 60s and I never knew anyone that protested against the soldiers. We protested against the War and we protested Nixon's policies. I had friends whose brothers were over there in the shit.

That crap with people protesting soldiers is something I only saw on TV. I wound up thinking that it was a manipulation Nixon's people dreamed up to discredit war protesters since he wasn't allowed to shoot any more of us after Kent State.

then what the fuck are you doing in LA?

Chimpy, you realize this only brings our little group closer together? Doesn't divide and conquer. And you'll be forgotten quicker than you will disappear. Buh bye.

Interesting assessment from someone who calls themselves refers to themselves as a chimp.

Why don't you run along and play with yourself, if you can find it of course.

I'm going to go pray to Teh Cesca now to release us from this stupidity.

and might I add, Chimp, it's incredibly simplistic to hate a country's people because of their gov't.

Why are all our trolls pussies? Maybe after Bob's next HuffPo article we'll get some fresh (and possibly intelligent) trolls.

Travis the Chump

There are no facts in evidence to support the assertion that you have a brain. You appear to be an AI that spouts appropriate insults at designated targets.

It is not possible to date a talking point dispenser just as it is not possible to debate a powerpoint presentation. Debate requires intellect. I don't see any.

You may now hurl meaningless insults at me. Or not. I don't really give a fuck.

SOIG, let's keep our fingers crossed.

Holy shit, Christopher Guest looks SO fucking old, compared to the rest of the Tap.

fe, you are as dumb as GI the Drug Addict. Your government is "for the people, by the people" of the United States, is it not?

Your Obama is just as much a war criminal as Bush, strafing civilians in Pakistan with Drones. Please tell me if this is better than the 911 attacks?

yes, the name says it all. Travis was the poor chimp exploited for God knows what purpose by a wealthy fat American woman and the poor animal was shot by your gestapo police.
Travis is the most accurate symbol of your depraved society. Tell me again when dog fighting will be on television?

At the risk of repeating myself, Simon Baker is wicked hot. I want him for my birthday.

Travis, right after the YouPorn of your Mom blowing me.

Git,

I CAN'T FUCKING THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR DESTROYING THAT PARADIGM.

I wasn't alive to witness it so I am going off of what I have heard and seen on the TV Machine.

Travis,

FUCK YOU AGAIN!!! You are not anti-American you are anti-Obama and news flash asshole, HE IS RESTORING AMERICA'S GOOD NAME.

Please for the love of the FSM, don't give the north that much credit. The south at least has manners.

Oh yeah. When did 'mulatto' become a cool insult again? Classy, Chump.

TravisTheLimp

Short, soft in the head, why bother?

wait a sec, GI the drug addict? where has it ever been implied that he's a drug addict?
second, please prove to me that civilians were knowingly killed in Pakistan.
third, liberals in this country were in minority, with a media that genuflected to Republicans. there was nothing we could do about Bush.

UIG, you're using logic again. Stop that. It will only annoy the pig.

Fineman's hair looks okay today, but I still feel like it's watching me.

fe, travis is speaking out of this aussie asshole and categorizing all soldiers as high school drop outs and drug addicts. What the sheep fucker is forgetting is that the US Army as an Officer Corp to lead the GED and Drug addict soldiers.

Southern bitches are hot too. I don't think I've ever said that before.

Kat, I have!

*gets slapped by GF*

OW!!!

Travis the know it all!!!

See, now, there you go again! Opening that cocky little mouth of yours and not knowing what the hell you are talking about!
You do realize that you are making an ass out of yourself? So, save you some dignity and walk away. You have no facts or evidence on what you speak of. Therefore, you have no argument, just LOUD NOISES!!!
On this blog post, we show facts when we speak.
You should be more careful when you start judging people, because you don't know me or anyone on this blog post. You don't see anyone on here bashing your culture or way of life, now do you? People like you don't know what to do when you get put back in place. So, what do you do? You make fun of their looks, in which you don't know what they look like.
So, really think about it before you have a heart attack and bust a blood vein for getting so pissed off at the truth!!!

oh shit...on spike tv...deadliest warrior, apache vs gladiator. which would win in a fight.

natives fought smarter and got way more scrappy! but jesus gladiators have armor and bodies of marble.

I think Chump is a masochist, really.

uhm, Southern Bitch? You're new here, right? I've never seen you before. Either way...I like you.

Well, thank you very much! I like yall too!!! LOL!

fe, I know who she is.

Somebody track down GIT so they can see my apology.

Please I am sorry for believing that bullshit. I have been waiting my entire life for someone to destroy that Warrior War myth.

oh shit! is anyone watching spike tv?!?!?!

Dear Fat Bitch...I must have struck a nerve....somewhere beneath the inches of lard. Please tell me what facts you present?

Fact 1: There are more high school drop outs in the southeast as compared to tye northeast

Fact 2: more children are born with STDs in the south than the north

Fact 3: there are twice as many college graduates in Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine as there are in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia.

I could continue for another month. Now why don't you cook up some Meth like a good ole country girl?

He's a troll. Like I said, he doesn't debate. He's just a insult hurler.

I think he's over here because he was caught too many times molesting dingos and wallabies. He probably works as a fluffer in the gay porn industry.

Trav,

She makes some darn good meth grits so STFU!!

Dear Travis the Troll!!!
Show me the paper work then we will talk!!!
Other than that, I have nothing to say to your sorry uneducated ass, because your facts are wrong!

Git,

I have been fluffing you for an hour now. Please accept my apology and respect for your hard work against one of the first bullshit wars of choice and profit.

I've never been to tye northeast.

@Joe: Git was right. We didn't protest the soldiers, except the assholes like William Westmoreland. Most of us knew someone unvoluntarily in the military & but for the accident of a birthday, we could have been the ones slogging into the rice paddies. (well, not me cuz they didn't draft women... but the men born the same day as I had their numbers called up)
I have a ton of respect for you for having joined the Army. and I thank you.

That was very good Fat Bitch, about as good as GI the Dope. Maybe the two of you together could light a match. As for Rat Face, I will assume that you are a scrawny, chinless twirp who tries to "score" with the skanks on this blog.

Fat Bitch...Google SAT scores by state. Then obesity, then high school delinquents, then child molesters....

duh. involuntarily

GI -

I never met a war protester that harassed soldiers in any way. I never met a war protester that knew of any protesters that harassed soldiers. Those protesters only existed on TV and I believe that they were a fabrication. However, I have met Vietnam Vets that told me people spit on them when they came back. I don't know what that was about because I still don't know anyone that would have ever done such a thing. My father is a Korea Vet. People who serve are to be respected. I've never seen it any other way. I've been protesting this Iraq invasion, but the soldiers get my respect. I have too many friends that have served over there.

Oooo, I want a childish insult hurled at me!

Fuck you, TravisTheChimp!

has anyone on here met an australian that wan't cool as fuck?! i have to call bullshit on travis being aussie!

and why aren't any of you guys watching deadliest warriors?! sheesh... but let it be freaking star wars or some geekie shit and you guys are all about! ;)

Hi Kyle (you asshole)!

Ceu, thank you!

Travis, I need your SAT....wait...WTF do you call standardized testing in prisoner land? So you don't have fat people in prison land? Everyone is a high school graduate? That sounds great. But, why the fuck don't you make anything that any other fucking country wants to buy or use. Now STFU!!!

Lady Huskies kick ass. Woo Hooo UConn!

You suck, Kyle! And so does yo momma!!

(how was that?)

Kyle, the FSM has told me to take your eye patch and forbid you from the ocean.

Travis the Chump's idiotic comments and childish insults is gaining him the attention he craves.
Don't take the bait.
He will probably get bored and leave.

wait a minute..."you suck" is an insult?

Travis,
You are the sorriest liar I have ever debated with. You suck at facts. Nothing you said was true, I know this because I already looked everything up! There are more fat asses up north than there are down south, more incest up north, more tragedies, more old people, more child molesters, and so on so forth. Blah Blah Blah, This is getting really boring to debate someone this ignorant. Can I please get another/better challenger!!!

Chris, I know we are used to it being an order, but in some conversations, yes, it is an insult.

Hey jane, Kat. I appreciate the insults, but I was hoping the Chimp would come up with an original one for me.

Joe, the FSM doesn't speak to you mainstream monsterists. I don't have an eyepatch because I'm Orthodox Alfredist, and we believe the FSM favors Ninjas. There are hundreds of references to Ninjas in pastafarian sacred texts but, much like Ninjas, they're quite hard to see.

Awww he's checking his thesaurus again isn't that cute? Me next Travis! Me next! Tell me I'm a dirty American!

HELLS YEAH! scientific testing proves nobody can fuck with the native americans! bow down bitches!

Awww damn, I see a Past Jihad in the making.

The comments by Travis are the dumbest bunch of shit I have ever read. Would it not be more appropriate to pay no attention to him?

I agree with WT.

So Michael Savage called Glenn Beck a "hemorrhoid with eyes". Awesome.

Ooooh! Southern B!tch is someone Joe knows! ***Waves hello*** :)

Nice to see you on the board, and sorry for butchering your name, but I can't make myself type fully impolite words. Habit.

QT

Hielo,

Yes, you are right! I just had to stir the pot up a little bit. I'm done, I promise I won't respond to him anymore. I like to raise the blood pressure up a little bit then let it flow from there. I think it's working!!!

Alex, that's an insult to hemmorhoids, don't you think? As well as eyes.

QT, I have "known" her since she was in the womb. Or is that wrong and I was close to her womb?

NINJAS? FUCKING NINJAS? This just gets better.

Yes QT, it's me! I wave back!!!

Is Bruce done for the night? If he's in L.A. he has an early lights out.

SHIT TACO!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!

WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!!!!!

jon stewart talking about michelle bachmann's re-education camps statement...."re-educate you have to educate them first" didn't bob (maybe someone commenting) say that word for word on here?!

yes gypsy it was from this blog...but I thought it was BC...could be wrong though

Well, at least they know good material when they see it. I wouldn't 'borrow' crap material.

now colbert!!!

fat husbands on tv...check
suck it...check
boob punching...check

bob...they are ripping you and us off! we need paid for supplying 90 percent of late night hosts with their material! ;)

Have they mentioned robot insurance? Puppy kicking?

jane, after saying that they will be tomorrow! ;)

Also, merkin merkin.

time check!

Yay I'm last! I had to work here in reverse time land, so I missed Bruce the Fauxstralian. Anyone who thinks Aussies are cool, go to Thailand and experience the drunken fat assed assholes staggering around noisily at all hours of the night. They don't like them teaching English in China cuz it doesn't sound like English. Piss off, Bruce, you cunt!