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May 5, 2009
A NOTE ON TODAY'S QUOTE
By GDAB Chief Pajamas Media Ball-Buster Elvis Dingeldein.
Bob just made with today's Quote Full of the Crazy and I wanted to jot down a few thoughts. If you missed it, the quote reads as follows:
"I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children." Joe the Plummer
What struck me immediately was the “actually” qualifier; for one throwaway word it speaks volumes about the vapid, fear-baked and pathetic little brain operating inside that bullet head.
In one sense, “actually” might hint at Joe’s testosterone-based shock that such a thing as a homosexual could exist in a world inhabited by such betesticled superheroes as himself, paragons of manhood from a Bygone Day in which Real Men could pound on their wives a little if the beer wasn’t cold enough. “I mean, he was actually a homosexual, can you believe it? I’m not kidding, actually a … ” and then whispering: “Gay person!” Oh, 1950s, will fuckheaded White America never tire of The Nostalgias for your better days? Back when "queer" was an acceptable word in polite society, especially if you were shouting it while beating a guy with a beer bottle?
But I think the qualifier in “actually” reveals something much more dandy in Joe’s Secret Heart. I think that subconsciously, Joe knows he’s absolutely aching for Prison-Style Man Love in his Prom Night Fresh out-box, and keeps himself electrolysis-smooth and supple from head-to-toe for the day he’s called upon to swim 60 Olympian laps inside Glenn Beck’s oversized cowper’s gland. I think the “actually” was a Freudian Slip of Herculean proportions, as his chimpanzee’s brain scrambled for cover under Homosexual Question Fire, desperate not to reveal his own seething urges, and what popped out was “actually homosexual” to cover the unspoken modifier, “unlike me, who hasn’t yet come out of the closet.”
Either way, keep it up, Republicans! Please, The God™, someone sign Joe up with William Morris and get him booked on every major news show available. Please. This is exactly what we need right now: Pajamas Media Fuckholes willing to admit, in public, that homosexuals are synonymous with pedophiles and kidnappers and should be ostracized in Decent White Bald Man Society.
And for the record, Eric Holder should order an immediate The Wire-Tappings on Joe's home computing apparatus. There's no chance they don't pull terabytes of Hot Man-on-Man Action off that thing.
Filed under: Elvis Dingeldein || Joe the Plumber || Quote of the Day
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Posted By Elvis | May 5, 2009 10:04 AM
Comments
You have to admit Elvis, architecture post WWII was pretty cool, no?
Posted by: incredulous72 at May 5, 2009 10:47 AM
Back when I listened to Howard Stern in the morning, he used to play a clip of, I believe Joe Rogan and another comedian whose name escapes me in a weight lifting sketch. It is seriously one the funniest goddamn things I ever heard.
Joe and his macho-wacho ilk remind me of the two weight lifters in the sketch.
I need to find that clip...
Posted by: Lexaburn at May 5, 2009 10:48 AM
Nothing says "friendship" like " don't go near my kids, queer!"
Maybe Hallmark makes a card...
Posted by: AC at May 5, 2009 11:05 AM
That was what I thought when I read this fuckery. Does he "have" children like he "owns" a small business? That's my question because if so, this is the perfect recipe for little Joe Jr. to be the next Liberace.
Posted by: Heather! at May 5, 2009 11:51 AM
I think I agree with nearly everyone when I say I am both disgusted by his remark, particularly the continuing implication that homosexuals are pedophiles since everyone knows that all straight men rape little girls just like all gay men rape little boys, and I am delighted that this faction of the right is getting so much air time. The more he talks, the more his kind talk, the narrower and narrower they make their appeal, and I love it. I love hearing them scramble to broaden their party while they simultaneously hate the minorities, the poor, the immigrants, the gays. Cheers to Joe and Co.
Posted by: camel54 at May 5, 2009 12:21 PM
The Republicans Party: Boldly inviting all to join them while holding trials for heresy of long time members who are not fascist enough. The really do want everyone to join them though. Well, everyone that is a white male evangelical with a penchant for goose-stepping.
Posted by: ∇•B=0 Silly Ratfaced Git ∇•D=ρ at May 5, 2009 1:15 PM
More Freudian Slips from "The man who became a metaphor..."
I like Sarah Palin a lot, actually. I just don't know if that's where God's leading her. I just know the Republican Party's done its best to blackball her.I mean, I'm not one to blow smoke up my skirt, but I think I'm a pretty nice guy...
These are from the same article.
Posted by: bjritz at May 5, 2009 1:44 PM
When I finished reading that Christianity Today interview, I wished there was a hell, so people like Joe could burn in it.
Posted by: Razor at May 5, 2009 1:54 PM
"I mean, they know where I stand..."
I agree with your reading, Elvis. Joe "stands" a little too close to his gay friends for his own comfort.
Posted by: CycloCynic at May 5, 2009 6:40 PM
