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May 19, 2009
LEAKED SLIDES THAT GOT IT RIGHT
By GDAB Chief Leaked Slide Analyst Elvis Dingeldein.
I have to admit, the first time I laid eyes on the Crappy PowerPoint Slides used by the Defense Department (“Not Actually ‘Defending’ You Since 1945!”) to brief President Bush -- because everything had to have a Vacation Bible School quote slapped on it or be hosted by Dora The Explorer to get him to pay attention -- I swear to The God™ I thought I was being Punk’d. It wasn’t until I was two pages into Robert Draper’s astonishing report in GQ that I realized it was real, and that Yes, Virginia, Your Defense Department Is That Fucking Lame.
Putting aside the horrifying fact that the same Machine we unleash to make The Warrings against Brown People must also use unbelievably crap PowerPoint slides in order to make with the briefing on The Shock And/Or The Awe (see also: The Surge™), I got the distinct feeling that we weren’t seeing all the relevant slides leaked from Rumsfeld’s Big Briefcase of Moronic Religious Zealotry. So I made a few calls, turned a few dials, flipped a few switches and Hey Look! Leaked Slides That Actually Make Sense!
I think these are much more relevant, don't you?
P.S. - Fuck you, Defense Department. You Crusade-waging douchebags.
Filed under: Donald Rumsfeld || Draper || Elvis Dingeldein || GQ || Iraq
Posted By Elvis | May 19, 2009 4:39 PM
Comments
Iraq's oil-fueled surplus could hit $80 billion, report says
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/08/05/iraq.oil/index.html
Posted by: rob at May 19, 2009 5:00 PM
How's that surplus doing now that oil is no longer $150/barrel?
Posted by: Nanotyrannus at May 19, 2009 5:06 PM
I know I keep asking this, but when are we going to get a special prosecutor to investigate these war crimes?
Posted by: ∇•B=0 Silly Ratfaced Git ∇•D=ρ at May 19, 2009 5:33 PM
Nano,
that story was written when oil was $60/barrel.
Posted by: politicalpartypooper at May 19, 2009 5:45 PM
ppp, these guys claim to be the scientific literati you know...
Posted by: rob at May 19, 2009 5:47 PM
We are a bit focused on the whole "Pelosi Hates America" shitstorm fusilade coming out of the media right now and we really haven't considered what the Department of Justice might be up to. I got my fingers crossed that we suddenly get a bombshell out of DOJ that makes several dozen Bushies collectively wet their pants.
Posted by: Nanotyrannus at May 19, 2009 5:47 PM
The article says that the surplus was resulting from record oil prices for the entire year, not just the month the article was written.
And oil was not $60/barrel on August 5, 2008, douchebag. It was around $119/barrel around August 05, and that was it's lowest price in three months.
Posted by: Nanotyrannus at May 19, 2009 6:02 PM
"It was around $119/barrel around August 05, and that was it's lowest price in three months."
Ah so the money was made during the prior year.
Where it averaged around $90, not the $150/barrel you mouth off about.
Posted by: rob at May 19, 2009 7:08 PM
You know...that "briefing" looks suspiciously like one of those constantly forwarded chain-letter emails I always seem to get.
Posted by: Texican at May 19, 2009 7:14 PM
I never mouthed off about the average being $150/barrel. You understand me, though, "rob". With the average expected to be around $50/barrel this year, none of the oil exporters will be getting nearly as rich off of our insatiable desire to fill up a Hummer as they did in 2008.
And here I've violated my own rule. I engaged a troll over nothing really. Now, back under your bridge.
Posted by: Nanotyrannus at May 19, 2009 7:48 PM
Yeah nice deflection, nano, maybe those bastrids will only have a $25 Billion surplus.
And here you would've thought Cheney stole all their oil.
Posted by: rob at May 19, 2009 7:51 PM
Bush "fucked up" twice calling the invasion of Iraq a holy war or a crusade ........... damn, it wasn't a fuck up at all!
It was the truth!
Posted by: kansasdem at May 19, 2009 9:58 PM
