Small enough to fit into your bedroom.
The Massachusetts legislature is conducting hearings Wednesday on a bill that would bar divorcing couples with children from carrying on a sexual relationship while in their own home.
The bill would prevent parents from "conducting a dating or sexual relationship within the home" until the divorce is final.
Although seemingly written to spare children the pain of seeing their parents become involved with other people, the bill's language is so broad it can easily be interpreted as forbidding sex entirely.
Parents that wish to have sex would need to get a judge's approval.
The next logical conclusion in the world of family-values Republicans would obviously be obtaining a judge's approval for the use of contraception or perhaps even social lubricants such as beer and wine.
The bill was sponsored by State Sen. Richard Ross, a Republican representing the Bristol, Norfolk & Middlesex District. Richard Ross became a state senator in May 2010 after winning a special election to succeed Scott Brown.