Republican Party

Perry Versus Huntsman

Something occurred to me watching the debate last night.

As far as Republicans go, Jon Huntsman is smart, reasonable, reality-based and grounded in science.

And therefore he's entirely unelectable.

Make no mistake, however, if elected Huntsman would still dismantle many of the Democratic accomplishments and resurrect Reaganomics -- potentially guiding us deeper into a shithole. But there aren't many Republicans like him these days. I mean, the guy speaks fluent Chinese -- and not the Rush Limbaugh "ching chong ding dong" Chinese. Real Chinese.

Rick Perry, on the other hand, is a big nothing. A slaw-jawed yokel in a Sears mannequin wig who, during last night's debate, flat out lied about his record in Texas. He's George W. Bush rebooted.

And because of these things, he's totally electable. As I've already predicted: he'll win the nomination.

This is the twisted reality of the modern Republican Party. It champions stupid lying morons and rejects smart, reasonable statesmen.

  • Robert Scalzi
  • Lexamich

    Yes, wasn’t that an awful performance from Perry, though? All bluster.

    I did like how Romney fought back against him. Little Ricky thought he’d just strut on in and talk about anyone any old way because the media dorks have kissed his ass since early last month, eh? Talk about Romney’s record as governor, eh? Nah, bitch! PIFF, POW!

    Oh, um, that’s not true, Romney. T-that’s not true!

    Whatevah! Shaddap, Helmet Hair!

    Perry strikes me as one of these cats that hides behind a veil of myths put forward by spin doctors and duplicitous media-bound scalwags. So far, this dude hasn’t even reached the bottom of the pedestal the media has placed him on. He’s stumbled out of the gate, and the only momentum he has comes from his rolling down the hill he’s tumbling down. This is no hyperbole. Even the fact that he shoots up the primary polling shows that he’s nothing but hype. People know Romney from the last time he ran, and this old chump shows up and steals the man’s thunder for what? Because he attended a few cult-like sermons and brags about Texas being a deep pit of low-wage jobs. They speak on how great a campaigner he is, but all I’ve heard about his electoral victories betrays a certain intellectual laziness on the part of his constituents. He appears to have coasted through most of his political career, like the hound dog that lingers in the kitchen waiting for scraps. Even Romney touched on the fact that he wasn’t the person responsible for whatever he chooses to brag about regarding Texas. Paul called him out on playing the role of “conservative” because of the make-up of the state. He essentially said Perry’s a victim of con-servative peer pressure. Paul also called out Perry’s duplicity on government intervention, too.

    Perry’s only recourse was to pretend he hadn’t come to the debate to actually debate, but to regurgitate the very same con-servaknave ideas the previous seven already repeated at other debates. Perry did this twice from my observations.

    The dude’s a charlatan, man.

    The suspense is over. Save for the aggravation we’ll suffer through if we observe the idiot media swine forgiving the GOP bullshitting their way through a primary and general election for the sake of “balance,” we might as well settle into the concept of another four years of President Obama.

    I know some who’ll read that last bit are vexed over the notion.

    …the fuck cares.

    Obama 2012, bitches.

    Or who? Perry?




    • Scopedog

      Well, Michael Moore says he’d vote for Huntsman because he’s tired of Obama….jeez.

      And if it’s Obama in 2012 (fingers crossed, but it very well could be), then expect to see a lot of emoprogs such as Taibbi, Lindorff, Swanson, and Sleeper do their impression of that unlucky guy who sat next to Michael Ironside in SCANNERS.

      • Robert Scalzi

        Altho I enjoy his films Michael Moore is a whiny Fat fuck, His target is always whoever is in teh whithouse and he smells like fried chicken Fuck him

      • Lexamich

        I’ll be too busy ignoring the “emoprogs” to see the pyrotechnics.

        And Moore has a soft spot for lost causes, so I’m not surprised he’s latched onto the Huntsman bandwagon.

        Me, I’m not convinced the being moderate amongst the immoderate is all that great. It almost makes me question why he’s even up there. No one in the GOP will ever come to their senses, and if the entire party all just magically stopped acting like a bunch of hobgoblins and gremlins, Huntsman would still be seen as an also-ran that was bound to lose.

        I’m not in the business of talking up Republicons if they’re not participating in petty slap-fights with their peers like Romney and Perry. Huntsman pulled some of that Pawlenty bullshit last night, and blamed (stressing “blamed” because he hesitated to take credit for the critiques to begin with) most of his campaign’s rhetorical stances on his aide, and hemmed and hawed the rest. I also didn’t appreciate how he bashed the administration he worked for just to appease the clods in the audience. That shit didn’t work on them, so the dummy should not even go there.

        Huntsman’s a turncoat and a coward that will quit this-this…charade in no time.

        He’s a smart guy, right?

        Believes in science and all that?

        Here’s some science for him: it ain’t gonna happen, so he needs to stop wasting money, energy, and time, and get the fuck out right now.

        That’s valuable scientific advice I’m offering Huntsman right there.

        Shit, don’t have Bachmann drop out before he does. She doesn’t even believe in science.

        Oh, and of course, Moore will never get the chance to waste his vote in a fit of spite. Too bad.

        • incredulous72


          And that’s all that Michael Moore vote would be . . . spiteful!

          Good-ness, have people not learned ANYTHING from 2000?!

          • nicole

            Nope. Too many haven’t learned a damn thing.

          • ranger11

            No, and I really don’t know why. It was not that long ago. History repeats and repeats etc. Can I die already?

  • Winicott1001

    Listening to him talk about Social Security being a Ponzi scheme makes me wonder if he will win the nomination.

    Didn’t Obama send Huntsman over to China to be the ambassador just to make sure he was not in the country to gain political clout enough to run for president? Hope he was gone long enough for the GOP voters to forget who he was…

  • Tim Neuenhaus

    I was confused by Perry talking about Galileo, was he comparing himself to him?

  • Emily333

    Ok, this is a little off-topic, but, what I want to know is, what is it with the lines on Rick Perry’s face? Doesn’t he seriously look like he’s about eighty years old? Has he spent THAT much time in the sun?

  • trgahan

    It is very hard not to see the raise of Perry’s presidential campaign as confirmation of every negative stereotype held about the modern Republican Party. He is positioning himself to be a walking embodiment of the hatred, the fear, the ignorance, the isolationism, the righteousness, the disconnection, and the hypocrisy that is modern conservatism.
    Guy’s like Perry have all too many Americans convinced that the “elect me to the government, cause I hate government!” platform will turn them from members of a struggling middle class Americans into millionaires overnight. Of course many don’t really care about their own plight, as long as such a candidate uses his power to put “those people” in their place.
    The country, the world, seems to be at a moment when it can either move forward or take an enormous step back. The “step back” people are winning at the current moment. Kind of like what happened after WWI. If that is the case, at least we can expect some great literature in the next 20 years.

    • GrafZeppelin127

      “…the hatred, the fear, the ignorance, the isolationism, the righteousness, the disconnection, and the hypocrisy that is modern conservatism.”

      Don’t forget the self-congratulation and the resentment.

  • Josh Dobbin

    Ir is the real “soft bigotry of low expectations” that we cheer when a republican admits that 2 + 2=4.

    • Bob Cesca

      HA! Right on. I’m just about to post something about this.

  • Ned F

    If it’s executions that gets resounding applause, you’re right, Huntsman doesn’t have a chance. I’m surprised everyone didn’t start firing their guns in the air.

  • George Bell

    When Huntsman started talking about science, I wanted to stand up and clap. Perry directly rebutted all of that by saying that science is undecided and blah blah blah God did it. I wish they would just come out and say it.