A Word About the President and Same-Sex Marriage

I assure you, if the president is elected for a second term, same-sex marriage or something exactly like it will become a priority for the White House.

What worries me right now is if it becomes a major point of debate right now, it'll become a wedge issue and backfire against the president's campaign. And that's why the White House has been fumbling around with a response to the vice president's remarks. They didn't want to talk about this just yet.

But rest assured, the days of marriage discrimination are drawing to an end.

  • ElayneB

    It doesn’t help the discussion for those on the left to keep telling each other “after the election he’ll support it” which just falls into the right’s scare tactics that Obama is gonna come roaring out of the socialist-marxist-whateverist gate and destroy “Merika as we know it. I don’t need Obama to say he is for or against gay marriage if his actions speak louder than words. But here’s another alternative. Did Biden and others in the cabinet really misspeak or are we being set up for another speech by Obama to highlight his differences with Romney with regard to gay rights? Seems to me his so called “birth control” gaffe is working out pretty well for him with women…

  • Lazarus Durden

    Here’s the big thing about Obama that everyone misses: He’s Radioactive.

    Now I mean radioactive in sense that whatever he does is going to get an insanely strong reaction. Any stance he takes on an issue, especially if it’s social, becomes in large part about him. So if he supports same sex marriage now then the Right gets not only a platform to fight the Culture War which they really wanna do, but the issue gets tangled up in Obama.

    Both are things we shouldn’t want to do. What we should do is pivot and take on the GOP who are standing the way of this. Take the case to the American people and build momentum. Instead of “Why isn’t Obama supporting this?” we should be staying “Why is the GOP standing in the way of this?” It’s true most people in America are coming around to same sex marriage being an issue of fairness. It’ll get complicated when we break down whether they mean marriage, civil unions, adoption rights, etc.

    The point though is culture needs to change. Obama can’t do much for that. But if Mitt Romney has to answer tough questions it’ll get people talking in the way we want about this issue. Why he didn’t defend Richard Grenell. Why did he support Prop 8? Why does he support DOMA? Why is he against DADT? Why can’t American service personnel who are gay defending their country marry the person they love and enjoy the same rights as their heterosexual fellows?

    Don’t let the MSM hijack this issue for their ratings. Attack the people who are really standing in our way: the GOP.

    • stacib23

      And the last flippin’ thing the Democrats should do is make gay marriage a plank in their platform at the convention.

      • Lazarus Durden

        I think they should address it in broad terms like social equality for everyone. Reinforce that standard, but I think the Democrats need to push much harder on Hispanic & African American issues first. They need to shore up those bases. And beyond immigration reform for Hispanics everyone needs economic reform and the wealth gap needs to be addressed.

    • nicole


  • lib4

    I have no idea why his advisers are fumbling with this, they are running against Romney not Biden. Make Romney’s bigotry the issue and do it NOW .

    Obama needs to clearly restate his position that he believes in equality and civil unions for now. He should be highlighting his efforts to repeal DOMA and his repeal of DADT .

    He then needs to IMMEDIATELY pivot to point out Romney’s discriminatory stance on the gay issues. The President is no rainbow flag waving saint but Romney wants to send gays back to the dark ages by bringing back DADT and DOMA.

    • Ipecac

      Agreed. Put the focus on the horrific things Romney has blatantly vowed to do to roll back rights already resolved.

    • Rollo Tamasi

      Because the election will be close, and this will lose voters.

      I know the polls show a slight majority in favor of gay marriage. But that majority was already going to vote for Obama.

      AND, the issue does not divide the Republican party, it divides the Democrats.

      Why divide your party during a Presidential election year?

      I think Obama’s actions on gay issues have shown what he is all about in this area, and I don’t care what he personally feels.

      I think we need to start asking the real question:

      Is there a faction on the Left that is trying to sabotage Obama?

      I believe there is. I’m talking about the Huffingtons, the Greenwalds, the Hamshers, et al.

      I believe that, right now, the most important issue to them is Obama losing. They want him to lose so that they can say:

      “See, we were right all along about Obama.”

      I believe that this attitude does not solely exist on the Right.

      • nicole

        Well said.

      • Lazarus Durden

        I don’t think the election is gonna be close. I’m seeing more and more it’s gonna be a landslide. The electoral map heavily favors Obama and everyone knows it.

        Agree 100% about those on the Left trying to sabotage Obama especially Ariana Huffington. I can’t remember seeing a positive article about Obama on Huffington Post.

        • stacib23

          Looking at the electoral map, I’ve got Obama over 300 easily – but this is still May. I believe in all my heart that barring a catastrophe, he will get another term. I also think that we’ll get the House back on his coattails (and I’m a pessimist). He may lose some of the gay vote over this one, but I would really hope that on the whole they have to recognize that Obama is the absolute best thing progressives have going and if they have any hope of moving their agenda forward they had better pull up their big girl bloomers and quit all the crying.

          • Lazarus Durden

            I’m in agreement with you. I’m optimistic about the Democrats chances of regaining the House. I’m more worried about the Senate but things are looking up down ballot if the President gets over 300 Electoral votes.

    • Lazarus Durden

      Here, here!

  • GrafZeppelin127

    I agree; I think he will come out [no pun intended] wholly in favor of same-sex marriage rights if he is re-elected, and very shortly thereafter at that. He may even include it in his second Inaugural Address. I think he knows this already and is deliberately saving it until after the election.

    I suspect he will move to the left on other issues as well.

    IF he is re-elected.

    • nicole

      Complete agreement here.

    • Victor_the_Crab

      WHEN he’s re-elected!!!

  • Ipecac

    No one believes that if the President endorses same-sex marriage it will magically come to be. It’s about taking a stand. The President has, apparently, decided that it’s politically inexpedient to take a stand right now, before the election. That may be wise. There’s certainly a lot more at stake in this election than just this one issue. Then again, since a majority of Americans support same-sex marriage, it may be unnecessary.

    Regardless, the barn door is open, the issue is being discussed, and by not taking a firm stand, rightly or wrongly, the President looks like he’s dragging his feet on what is an inevitable civil rights victory.

    I’m willing to give the President the benefit of a doubt that in his vastly more informed political experience he knows what he’s doing. But I won’t say I’m not a little bit disappointed that politics is trumping acknowledgment of what we all know is right.

    • nicole

      And will you also be disappointed if the president takes a strong stand now and Romney wins, thereby insuring that there is ZERO presidential support for the LGBT agenda?

      Because, rest assured that is what will happen.

      I find it pathetic that so many on the left still do not understand why we so often lose.

      Like it or not, there are many in the middle who will not vote for the Pres if he comes out strongly for gay marriage prior to November. That is just a damn fact.

      He has every intention of doing so after the election.

      The LGBT community needs to understand what effect making a big deal out of this now will have on the election.

      And by the way, if you think that Biden’s remarks were not vetted by the Pres, you would be very naive.

      • Ipecac

        Of course I will be disappointed if that happens. I don’t believe that that’s necessarily what will happen. That’s our only point of disagreement.

        Don’t confuse me with someone who is harping on the President on this issue. I’m not. My statement above doesn’t identify me as someone who does.

        I get that it’s a political calculation. I agree that it’s likely the President fully supports marriage equality. I understand that sometimes political expediency has to win the day in order to secure bigger victories tomorrow.

        But when the topic is raised (as it has in this very instance by Bob’s post) I can make it clear that while I understand political expediency, I don’t have to like it.

        • nicole

          But when the topic is raised (as it has in this very instance by Bob’s post) I can make it clear that while I understand political expediency, I don’t have to like it.”


          You are, of course, free to say whatever you want whenever you want.

          Doesn’t mean it’s wise for you to do so, and it doesn’t mean that you can’t be criticized for it.

          • Ipecac

            In what way isn’t it wise for me to express some disappointment that the President doesn’t feel free to express his support for marriage equality unequivocally? I’m just a commenter on a blog post.

          • nicole

            We’re all just commenters. And yet, in 2010 we saw the Democrats lose the House and nearly the Senate, due in large part to the messaging from the dissatisfied left on the web.

            It matters.

            That said, I understand your disappointment, and there is nothing at all wrong with feeling that way.

            I’m just saying that it would be wise not to dwell on it publicly until after November.

          • Ipecac

            I appreciate your point and I agree with you to the extent that the Firebaggers, HuffPo, etc. are screwing us all over by their ill-conceived and illegitimate criticisms. I don’t agree that reasonable people having reasonable disagreements (such as this) is harmful.

          • eljefejeff

            Ipecac(great name btw), you’re probably finding that many on this site are very protective of the president and are quick to strike back at anyone who criticizes, or even openly questions, his strategy on certain issues. The fact that you have to repeatedly assure them that you are not a firebagger goes to show that you understand this.

            I donated to him last time, campaigned for him, voted for him more enthusiastically than I have for any other candidate in my lifetime, and will do the same this year, but many of Bob’s Awesome Blog commenters(some of whose opinions I greatly respect) do not tolerate anyone wondering why the president is content to be seen as a somewhat weak waffler on a fairly simple and straightforward issue.

            It may be true that this is a media manufactured story, but it adds to the perception that he’s more a calculating politician than a strong leader.

          • Ipecac

            Yeah, I’ve noticed. :-)

            While I understand the “we don’t want to show any division” idea, it makes me uncomfortable. Some years ago, the idea that “if you’re not for us 100% you’re the enemy” was one of the MANY things that made me leave the Republican party.

      • Ipecac

        “I find it pathetic that so many on the left still do not understand why we so often lose. ”

        This is interesting. (Putting aside the current discussion of same-sex marriage for a second.) Is it not fair to say that quite often Democrats lose because they don’t take a firm stand on issues? They haven’t stood firm against austerity, against extending the Bush tax cuts, in favor of single payer. We’ve heard it time and again over the last three years, the Democrats hold the position the majority of American people hold, but they still lose because time and again they’ve tried to compromise with the psychotic Republicans.

        • nicole

          I disagree.

          2010 was not the result of Democratic compromise with Republicans. It did, however, have much to do with the Democrats who sat out the election in order to “teach Obama a lesson.”

          This isn’t about compromise anyway. The Pres will come out in favor after the election.

          Why would you want him to take a chance now and possibly lose the election? And please don’t try to tell me there isn’t a very strong chance of a loss if he does what you would like him to do.

          • Ipecac

            “2010 was not the result of Democratic compromise with Republicans. It did, however, have much to do with the Democrats who sat out the election in order to “teach Obama.”

            I agree that that was a big part of it. Constant Republican propaganda, FOX News, and Republican obstructionism also had a lot to do with it.

            But I wasn’t limiting the observation to the 2010 election. I was just pointing out that we’ve heard it a lot over the last three years.

            Whether or not this one issue will cause him to possibly lose the election is up for debate. Will this one issue cost him the election? I seriously doubt it. You disagree. But that’s his call and I’ve said above that I give him the benefit of the doubt on that.

        • Lazarus Durden

          Democrats lose because they suck at messaging not because they don’t take strong stances. Heck the GOP doesn’t take strong stances when you look at the disconnect about what they say and how they vote.

          GOP: We’re for Fiscal Responsibility! (Reagen, both Bushes increase National Debt more then any other Presidents in History.

          GOP: We’re for Government staying out of your lives! (Attacks Womens’ Reproductive Rights, Patriot Act, etc.)

          They do this because their messaging is effective thanks to Fox News and AM radio which carry the water for them.

          That’s why it’s so refreshing to hear Joe Biden say something like “When people ask you about us… Today Osama bin Laden is dead, and GM is alive.”

          Normally Democrats don’t talk like that. That’s simple, blunt but more importantly effective messaging.

          If Democrats can master that they’ll start beating the GOP especially if they keep building a ground game like Obama has.

          • Ipecac


          • MrDHalen

            It’s not simply messaging. Republicans are sheep led by a few wolves. Democrats are cats being led by cats.

            There’s a lot of dumb in this country and those who take advantage of it, have an advantage.

  • Lazarus Durden

    Honestly I think this is a made up controversy that the MSM is pushing right now. They know Romney is toast, has nothing bold they can talk about, and all they’re waiting on is the next gaffe he’ll make so they can mock, it, or spin it in the case of Fox News.

    I think most reasonable people on this issue understand that not only is Obama the best friend the LGBTQ community has had in the White House, but a GOP Presidency would be a major step back.

    The activists who are doing the hard work on this issue are working at the state level. DOMA was the first time since forcing Utah to outlaw polygamy, I can recall, that the Federal Government issued a law about the make up of marriage. It needs to go, and under a normal Supreme Court would probably be struck down. Same Sex Marriage needs to go through Congress. That means more Democrats, and a humbled just got their ass whooped GOP. Badgering the President isn’t helpful. There’s not a whole lot he can do. Furthermore him taking a strong stance ignites a culture war which the Right desperately wants to fight.

    • agrazingmoose

      I agree. Totally media manufactured story.

      Has anyone counted heads in Congress regarding repealing DOMA? Not a chance that anything would happen on that front until after the election in the Senate, much less the House.

  • Oscar Jimison

    I’m sure it would make some feel good if Obama expressed support for same-sex marriage. And it seems like some would fell good to think they “made” him express that support. So Obama gives a full throated endorsement of same-sex marriage. And, what? What exactly is expected to follow? It’s just beginning to seem that there’s a desire to score some sort of victory over Obama on this. And just like with the repeal of DADT, it’s of earthshaking importance as long as it’s a stick that can be used to poke at him. As soon as he does endorse same-sex marriage, you know it’ll be like, “Meh, whatever.”

    • stacib23

      What exactly is expected to follow?

      They will find a new reason to bitch and claim Obama is just like Bush. It’s amazing to me that one of the first group of “supporters” to abandon the president after the inauguration was the gay population – the loudest of which were Dan Choi and Rachel Maddow. I’m wondering why these same people feel entitled for Obama to put (what could be) his entire election on the line to satisfy their need to hear him say he supports gay marriage. It will be no different than repealing DADT – no matter what Obama does, it will never be enough. I don’t remember, where these people as vocal when Bill Clinton signed this odious law? Were they even close to being as mad at him for helping to discrimanate against them as they are towards the president for instituting changes that will help? It’s really starting to piss me off.