Guns

Engineered for Battle

This is unintentionally hilarious.

There’s a new entrant in the burgeoning concealed-weapon fashion industry. American Tactical Apparel, out of Houston, Texas, makes clothing for “professional door kickers, special responders, and everyday superheroes.”

The brainchild of Brian Hoffner, a long-time Houston police officer and self-described “kind of a renaissance man,” ATA offers Demin pants, khaki pants, and khaki shorts, all made with zippers for easy access to the company’s custom covert thigh holster.

“There is NO BETTER WAY to secretly carry your pistol and equipment,” the company says on its website. “These pants are engineered for battle, and for everyday operating. For warriors, by warriors.”

Garments "engineered for battle" are typically worn by trained service-members operating in places like Afghanistan, not by soccer-dads with tiny penises operating in the frozen food aisle.