Comedy

Troll Your Boat

Is Mitt Romney a unicorn? The concerned citizens of Arizona would like Secretary of State Bennett to investigate.

Last week, Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett, the state’s top elections official, threatened to kick President Obama off the state’s ballot until Hawai’i once again reiterated that Obama was born in that state. In response to Bennett’s flirtation with birtherism, 17,000 people signed a petition asking him to also investigate whether presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney is a unicorn. While it remains to be seen whether such an investigation will reveal that the former Massachusetts governor is indeed a fantastical horned beast similar in appearance to a horse, it’s not clear whether Romney would be permitted to run for president if he is indeed a unicorn.

Bennett began an inquiry with the state of Hawaii concerning the president's birth certificate because, according to him, some of his constituents asked him to.

Did 17,000 ask him to investigate the president's birth certificate? Probably not, but 17,000 are asking him to investigate whether or not Mitt Romney is a unicorn. Will he obey their demands?

Mitt Romney released his birth certificate last night, so I'm sure the issue is settled. Not that it was ever in doubt anyway. After all, Mitt Romney is white.