I Agree With This Ruling

A judge determined that it's okay for a restaurant to kill its own customers.

New York's 2nd Avenue Deli will be allowed to continue selling its "Instant Heart Attack" sandwich thanks to a Manhattan judge who ruled against a copyright infringement claim by infamous Las Vegas illness-monger The Heart Attack Grill.

After the 2nd Ave Deli received a cease and desist from the Heart Attack Grill — once a Phoenix-based chain, but now a single establishment in the Sin City — over the questionably named sandwich which consists of half-a-pound of Corned Beef, Pastrami, Turkey or Salami between two large potato pancakes, the deli filed a lawsuit to settle the matter.

"We feel that we've been vindicated," owner Jeremy Lebewohl told the Daily News. "We're doing what we've always done, what we do best, selling sandwiches."

I hate to sound really, really evil, but if a customer eats a sandwich called the "Instant Heart Attack" and then has an actual heart attack, the customer deserves the heart attack, and the restaurant deserves to lose a paying customer. Also, both the customer and the restaurant are ridiculously huge idiots.

(Thanks to The Law Offices of Price Benowitz)

  • Lazarus Durden

    I’ll admit I’ve eaten a lot of things that are bad for me. Still do. I love Five Guys which is the best burger joint in my area. However I haven’t partaken any of the monstrosities called food that have come out in recent years.

    I’ve never eaten:

    – Luther Burger
    – KFC Double Down. (In fact I avoid KFC altogether)
    – Doritos Locos Tacos
    – Any of the loaded Burger King Burgers

    And quite frankly I don’t plan on ever eating any of them.

    I think my biggest complaint is the portions restaurants serve today. I hate throwing food out, and sometimes I wanna have a cheat meal. I just want a portion, one portion of food, not the equivalent of four. I wanna eat one cheat meal. That’s it. That’s all.

    Honestly it would go a long way toward solving the obesity problem if restaurants would have a scaled down size menu with appropriate pricing.

  • bphoon

    If it happens in 2014, at least the customer will have affordable health insurance to fall back on…

  • drsquid

    Just don’t sell a 32 ounce soda to wash it down with.

    That would be unhealthy.

    And is joseph2004 one of those people who believe that ice won’t melt if conservatives tell it not to?

    • Zirgar

      That must be why right wingers are so resolute in their climate change denial — Reagan must’ve told the polar ice caps not to melt, so they haven’t. They CAN’T! End of story.

  • zirgar

    You’ve inspired me, joseph2004. I’m gonna open a restaurant called SHITTY’S, so when anyone complains about anything, I can honestly say, “Well, we warned ya.”

  • joseph2004

    You do sound evil, and typcally “Progressive.”

    Here is an establishment that makes absolutely no attempt at disguising the fact that what it is selling is not health food, but that doesn’t stop the left-wing demonization machine from chugging on.

    “huge idiots”

    Forget what the case was really about, a judge who ought to know better has given a restaurant permission to “kill its own customers.”

    The God-state is failing. What are we to do?

    And the people who decide to try one of these monster sandwiches?
    Die losers! Ha ha ha.

    Ha ha ha how stupid.

    • Lazarus Durden

      As usual there probably was a point in all that gibberish but… yeah I can’t find it. Did you forget your talking point halfway through?