“You and I are Literally Surrounded”

Mitch McConnell is very afraid. Not of non-existent "gun grabbers," but of his chances of being reelected. And in a campaign email sent to his constituents soliciting their support, he jammed as much fear and doom as he possibly could.

Dear Patriot,

You and I are literally surrounded. The gun-grabbers in the Senate are about to launch an all-out-assault on the Second Amendment. On your rights. On your freedom.

Just the other night, President Obama urged them to act. And then he went one step further, spelling out the 23 different Executive Orders he will take to get your guns.

My friend, our freedom is under direct assault.

From those who want take your guns. From those who want to shred our Constitution, and as our good in friend Rand Paul from Kentucky says, from those who want to be King.

Let me tell you, Mitch McConnell is ready to lead the fight to protect your rights. Will you stand with Mitch today?

Mitch McConnell, the minority leader of the U.S. Senate, knows the president didn't sign orders to "get your guns" (this email even reflects the language his constituents speak).

Telling your constituents that they are "literally surrounded" and that the president is signing orders to snatch their guns because he wants to be King is not just irresponsible. It's dangerous. And he would like for you to make a small contribution to his campaign today so that he may protect you from the evildoer Obama.

As a Kentucky native, I can tell you beyond any doubt that there are voters in the state who will believe every single word. They may even rush out and buy another gun or two just to be safe. And the next time a routine traffic stop or an unrelated charge results in a dead law enforcement officer, he will have had a hand in fostering the environment that lead to it.

The gun lobby thanks him.

  • mrbrink

    He name dropped Rand Paul like he’s got a poster of him right next to Justin Bieber and some old lynching photos in his locker.

    Mitch McConnell sees that tight little jackbooted ass and nearly passes out before he can punctuate that slow-witted rebel yell. It’s like a moonshiner’s outhouse declaration after falling in the shitter. The only recourse now is to shit your pants.

  • MrDHalen

    This is way beyond the line! He’s not some freshman Tea-Bagger from Poe-Dunk-Nowhere; he’s the f***ing U.S. senate minority leader spewing this crap!!!

    I don’t like the idea of the dehumanizing the opposition, but this is sick.

    I have this deep unsettling feeling that if I let the Republicans get me to view them the way they view anyone but themselves, they’ll have won. Everyday, this kind of stuff chips and chips away at my ability not to hate them.

  • GrafZeppelin127

    I’ve said many times, over the past few years, that Mitch McConnell is the single most despicable person to hold elected office in the United States, currently.

    This has to be the absolute most irresponsible thing any elected official could possibly do: Rile up the public by lying to them about nonexistent threats from their own duly-elected officials and from the law itself. He should be impeached for this. This is unconscionable. If one law enforcement officer gets shot in Kentucky, Mr. McConnell should be charged, indicted and prosecuted as an accessory.

    • Victor_the_Crab

      But won’t. Because, you know… LIBERTY!!!

  • gescove

    And the rest of us are literally surrounded by lying nihilistic gasbags like Mitch McConnell.

  • Draxiar

    Such a tiny man with nothing to contribute except fear mongering.

    • Scopedog

      Tiny in all ways, it seems….

  • Grant Beaudette

    But I thought Glenn Beck and his fellow nutbags were surrounding us. How many surroundings are going on here?

    • muselet

      Hard to tell. There might be concentric circles or we might all be part of a gigantic superhelix or maybe we’re all on the surface of a Klein bottle. The political topology does get a little confusing sometimes.


      • D_C_Wilson

        I think you need some fifth dimensional math to figure it out.