Far-right Intellectual Violence President Obama Wingnuts

Tea Party Republicans Will Take Two Rebuttals To Say The Same Thing

Not to be shown up by President Obama and his State Of The Union address this Tuesday, Republicans are seizing upon the opportunity to introduce America to two of the party’s wonderfully multifaceted angles of the same exact platform.

Senators Marco Rubio and Rand Paul have both been tapped to rebut President Obama before they’ve even had a chance to hear him speak.

Tea Party Express Chairman Amy Kremer, speaking to the dueling banjos of wingnuttery, said in a statement:

“We are happy to see that the Republicans have selected Tea Party conservative Senator Marco Rubio to deliver their response– both Senator Rubio and Senator Paul will articulate pro-growth messages that will resonate with the American people.”

They’re serving up both kinds of Republicans! Country and Western!

The Tea Party and The Tea Party.

The difference is that Tea Party hero, Sen. Marco Rubio, can say, “Pro-growth” in español. With that Steve Stifler-like smile and charm, Marco Rubio is there for outreach, and to coerce the Latino vote into bed.

And just in case the Tea Party gets a little nervous if there isn’t someone there to speak the native language of “white people” to the actual base, Tea Party hero, Sen. Rand Paul, is there to reassure them that they haven’t been overrun by the demographic shift, just yet.

But this is typical Republican Party behavior. They get two chances to make their case, and you get one. So, they’re essentially working over the president while holding his arms behind his back to prove that they are truly the better men, once and for all. That’s been the story of the Republican party since Reagan. Overwhelm you with bullshit, and take credit for the win when you surrender.

Former Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels delivered the 2012 response. Rep. Paul Ryan did so in 2011, Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell in 2010 and Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal in 2009.

How many of the Republican party’s very best prize Wingnuts does President Obama have to shed before these mental defectives begin to reevaluate the nature of their relationship with the great majority of Americans?

  • 1933john

    Paul would have to stand on Rubio’s shoulders, just to kiss Obama’s ass.

  • http://drangedinaz.wordpress.com/ IrishGrrrl

    This may be a dumb question, but why are they allowed two rebuttals? It’s not a written rule but historical convention?

    • http://phydeauxpseaks.blogspot.com Bob Rutledge

      Because both-sides-fair-and-balanced-would-you-like-to-supersize-your-fries-with-that-MURRIKA.

  • bphoon

    Rubio’s a cardboard cut-out. Paul’s quite simply an idiot. If this is the best the GOP can offer–and obviously it is–well, all I can say is, “Keep it up! You’re doing great!”

    Obama can beat these guys with both his hands tied behind his back…

  • i_a_c

    I’m hoping there will be some worthy Ashby-style image macros from this Rubio response, along the lines of “Volcano monitoring” and “It’s a fiction.”

    • mrbrink

      Oppan Ashby-style. Op, op, op, op. Ashby-style!

      Ha ha.

  • muselet

    Rand Paul follows Michele Bachmann and Herman Cain in delivering the Tea Party response to the State of the Union address. Those are some mighty impressive shoes to fill.

    Gee, I hope he doesn’t make a fool of himself. *snerk*


    • D_C_Wilson

      If he manages to look at the camera, he’ll do better than Ol’ Crazy Eyes Bachmann.

      • bphoon

        Bachmann, scary enough as is, would have been even scarier had she been looking into the right camera.