Immigration Senate

Immigration Reform Could Take a Very, Very Long Time

Furthering the notion that immigration reform is going to take a very long time to pass — over 300 amendments have been proposed to augment the Senate immigration reform bill, and many of these amendments are ghastly.

Here’s a few examples.

Mandatory DNA testing. Registered provisional immigrant applicants must submit a DNA sample to the Department of Justice to compare against the Combined DNA Index System (CODIS) at the FBI. Offered by Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT).

Zero assistance. Would prohibit undocumented immigrants who earn provisional legal status from applying for permanent residence if they qualify for state means-tested assistance, the supplemental nutrition assistance program (SNAP), the temporary assistance for needy families program (TANF), or supplemental security income benefits (SSI). Offered by Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL).

In-person interviews for 11 million immigrants. Sure to slow down the process time for 11 million immigrants, an in-person interview would be required to determine one’s eligibility requirements for provisional legal status. Offered by Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL).

Evidently, a national gun registry is a slippery slope to Red Dawn, but mandatory DNA testing is not. (hint: they’re brown people)

Meanwhile, Senator Mike Lee (R-UT) proposed an amendment that essentially enshrine undocumented servants into law.

Lee’s amendment would exempt “services performed by cooks, waiters, butlers, housekeepers, governessess, maids, valets, baby sitters, janitors, laundresses, furnacemen, care-takers, handymen, gardeners, footmen, grooms, and chauffeurs of automobiles for family use” from “prohibitions on unlawful employment of unauthorized aliens.”

They’re going to take away our butlers, footmen, and chauffeurs? This cannot stand!

And finally Senator Jeff Sessions (R-Keebler Elf Tree) proposed an amendment that would theoretically bar people such as myself and many others who are reading this from becoming citizens because we don’t make at least $94,000 per year.

Sessions’ proposal, one of 49 he offered on Tuesday, would amend the so-called gang of eight’s bill to require that any undocumented immigrant show an average income or resources at or above 400 percent of the federal poverty level for the entire 10-plus years they’ve spent in registered provisional immigrant status in order to qualify for legal permanent resident status.

If you consider the number of amendments to the Senate bill that have been proposed, and the fact that the House seems content with passing piecemeal rather than comprehensive legislation, it’s easy to see final passage of immigration reform slipping into the summer of 2014.

And that’s assuming a lot. That’s assuming there is even a remote chance that Senate and House bills, which will both be neck-deep in special-interest mud, can be reconciled. That’s assuming the House will actually pass anything.