Conspiracy Theory Super Stupid

Conspiracy Theory


Apparently the San Antonio Tea Party is convinced that designating the Alamo as a World Heritage site actually means the U.N. is going to take over.

Texas Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson had to calm fears this week after the former president of the local Tea Party warned that the U.N. may usurp their beloved landmark.

George Rodriguez, former president of the San Antonio Tea Party, stirred up rumors in a piece titled ‘The New Battle of the Alamo.’

Rodriguez said Wednesday that he never stated that the U.N. would take control, but that he merely provided a “cautionary tale.”

“I’m just constantly saying ‘may’ or ‘might,’” he explained. “I’m never once saying that this is going to happen. We need to be aware.”

The U.N. ‘may’ or ‘might’ take over the Alamo. And monkeys may or might fly out of Rodriguez’s ass. We need to be aware.

Let’s assume for a moment that the U.N. actually was poised to take over the Alamo.

What would they do with it? Would they plant a Mexican flag on top of it just to stick a finger in the eye of Real Americans as the U.N is wont to do?

Where did Rodriquez get these crazy ideas?

A similar version was posted Tuesday on, a website linked to radio talk show host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, who spoke at an Oct. 19 gun-rights rally at the Alamo.



I was close on the whole “plant a Mexican flag” thing. It turns out they plan to fly the U.N. flag. The bastards.

  • Victor_the_Crab

    Someone should just go ahead and fly a UN flag atop the Alamo just for shits and giggles and see how these Tea Party whackjobs would react to it.

  • 1933john

    Not to worry, Daylight Savings
    ends Sunday with a New Moon,
    feel free to brush with whatever
    toothpaste you desire.
    Smoke’em, if you got’em!
    Does anyone know whether
    the UN will require weekly
    “Short-arm” inspections?

  • 1933john

    Oh shit, Duke just rolled over in his grave!

  • muselet

    It gets even sillier:

    In an especially interesting twist, the right is going after San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro, saying he “may have started a new ‘battle of the Alamo,’” even though the mayor’s office has literally nothing to do with the state-run site or surrounding national parks.

    “Castro is a liberal who believes in a ‘global society,’ and apparently he sees no problem with the U.N. influencing or even managing the Alamo,” Rodriguez wrote. He added that “a blue U.N. flag may fly above the historic shrine of liberty once it falls under U.N. control.”

    These idiots make my head hurt.


  • Torsloke

    My wife is from San Antonio and has been trying to get me to agree to move back to Texas. This week hasn’t been a good one for her case.

  • Nefercat

    These idiotic UN Agenda 21 maroons are the bane of every local planning board, city council, or county commissioner board across the entire country.

    Everything, absolutely everything is proof that the jackbooted, blue-helmeted UN thugs will be trampling your sacred private property rights and engaging in a demonic attempt to take over your rag-tag, rural, chickenshit, worthless piece of crap land, ravish your womenfolk, and drink deeply of your most precious bodily fluids.

    The most trivial, non-controversial easement or zoning issue (usually a well-intended attempt to make things better for everyone, by people who either volunteer or are paid a pittance per diem to serve on these boards and councils) is guaranteed to bring these foaming at the mouth nutballs to every public comment session to hog the mike and spout their nonsense.

    UNESCO says: “So, you like this national monument/natural wonder/historic place of interest? You’re pretty proud of it? You’d like more people to know about it? You’d be pretty excited to see it on a list of the most awe-inspiring places on the planet? Well, all righty, then. Here’s your designation.”

    Nutters hear: We are here to steal everything your nation holds dear. Mwahahahahahahah.

    • i_a_c

      I really don’t get it. The UN is weak and toothless. What is there to be afraid of?

      • Nefercat

        You must be sane.

        • i_a_c

          Thank goodness. I was worried for a second.

      • beulahmo

        The government is now in the hands of a black man. For Republicans and paranoiacs, this proves we will never be safe again.

        Remember, early on in President Obama’s first term, when the rightwing was convinced that the benign televised-by-satellite, back-to-school, importance-of-achievement speech to school kids (also done by Bush 41) was actually an insidious plan to indoctrinate them?

        Frankly, I’m not at all surprised at this reaction.

        • i_a_c

          Yeah, but I’ve been hearing UN/NWO conspiracies my whole life. My life admittedly isn’t very long, but this paranoia probably predates me. Obviously black presidents don’t help.

          • beulahmo

            You’re right, of course. I’m just saying that Republicans have given the ever-present crazy fringe a level of visibility we’ve never seen before. I live in Austin, and Alex Jones’s rantings were an amusing and relatively obscure fixture (beginning on cable access channels) for decades. I never thought he’d become a celebrity, but Republicans have been a huge boon to his career. Frankly, I just don’t believe he would have become quite so popular if we’d elected Hillary Clinton as president.

          • feloniousgrammar

            Oh, I think he would have resurrected every Clinton conspiracy.

      • feloniousgrammar

        Yeah. Worrying about the blue helmet invasion is silly. If they want to be worried about something really scary they might want to worry about N.A.T.O.

  • blair houghton

    The Tea Party _has_ taken over the GOP and significantly disrupted the republic. It might be time to evict them from the nation they don’t understand.

    • beulahmo

      I’d held out hope that they’d be evicted from the GOP, but it didn’t happen. Now it’s too late — they’ve killed the GOP. We’re all just wondering how long the zombie will continue to walk around, wreaking havoc.

      • blair houghton

        Until the money runs out. And they have incredibly deep pockets, and a hold on the Supreme Court. Getting rid of them might take pitchforks and torches.

  • D_C_Wilson

    Obviously, this is part of the UN conspiracy to turn Texas back over to Mexico.

    Oh, if only that were true. Sadly, Texas is now so f*cked up Mexico wouldn’t take it back no matter what we offerred to sweeten the deal.

  • intoxination

    You know what’s fun? Explain how truthers became birthers and most then ended up in the Tea Party. That always makes a teabaggers head explode. Of course they then end up claiming another crapspiracy theory that it was a media ploy to discredit them.