Conspiracy Theory Wingnuts

Keeping Up With The Gohmert


What has The Gohmert been up to lately? Apparently he’s back to sniffing glue.

Did President Obama create a security security force that obeys his commands when he signed Obamacare into law? Of course not, but Representative Gohmert Pyle is far more skeptical than you or I.

Gohmert wants to know if members of the Public Health Service Commissioned Corps, which trains emergency response teams, are training to use guns or syringes. He’d also like to know if this has any connection to the Department of Homeland Security stockpiling ammunition.

via RightWingWatch

Janet Mefferd spoke with Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) on Friday about a Department of Homeland Security solicitation for a security contractor “at various locations throughout the states of Minnesota and Wisconsin.” While Gohmert said he didn’t know much about it, he claimed that the health care reform law may be creating a security force no one knows about. [...]

The congressman, for his part, wondered about “the provisions in [Obamacare] for the President’s own Commissioned and non-Commissioned Officer Corps,” speculating that these officers could be deployed in non-health related emergencies. “Are they using weapons to train or are they being taught to use syringes and health care items?” he asked. [...]

Gohmert said that he would investigate the “secret security force” in Minnesota and Wisconsin, adding the caveat that he wouldn’t mind it if it was “something that’s going to protect the borders.”

As long as the secret brownshirt security force is being used to keep the ever-intimidating Canadians at bay, Louie Gohmert is fine with it.

Not that it needs to be said, but DHS is not stockpiling ammunition for the president’s secret Obamacare army of IRS agent usurpers who will destroy the doctor patient relationship and probably apple pie and America once and for all. Did I leave anything out?

I imagine we’ll get the results of Louie Gohmert’s investigation around the time we get the results of Donald Trump’s birther investigation. Are Trump’s investigators still in Hawaii?

  • Christopher Foxx

    The congressman, for his part, wondered about “the provisions in [Obamacare] for the President’s own Commissioned and non-Commissioned Officer Corps,”

    Where, Louie?

    New Rule: If you’re going to refer to some provision in the law that you claim does a bad thing, then you’re going to be required to not just vaguely refer to “some provision”. You’re going to have to actually point out the specific passage.

    • Churchlady320

      Demand FACTS? What ARE you, some liberal, commie, elitist? Gohmert just KNOWS. That should be good enough for us all.

      • Christopher Foxx

        Well, good enough for Texans, clearly.

  • Chachizel

    Sigh… Embarrassed to be from Texas

    • Churchlady320

      Don’t be. We know you’re not responsible. Think of this comment section as your personal respite from stupid.

  • D_C_Wilson

    Ghomert seems to come up with a new, “very serious” thing that Obama could possibly doing even though there is absolutely no evidence that he is and we really, really should look into about every week.

  • muselet

    As long as the secret brownshirt security force is being used to keep the ever-intimidating Canadians at bay, Louie Gohmert is fine with it.

    Hey, don’t laugh. Poutine can be lethal in the wrong hands.

    Oh, almost forgot: Louie Gohmert is a nitwit.


  • Robert Scalzi

    Please stop insulting Gomer Pyle – he was waaay nicer and definitely a heckuva a lot smarter than Gohmert

  • Lady Willpower

    He is really stupid. Even by Texas standards he’s really stupid.

  • Nefercat

    “Are Trump’s investigators still in Hawaii?”

    Wouldn’t anyone be?

    • D_C_Wilson


      “Stay in Hawaii” vs. “Go back to Donald Trump.”

      Is it even a choice?

    • Churchlady320

      Not since yesterday when the godless governor signed marriage equality. Now Trump’s investigators are fleeing to Guam for refuge.

  • Nefercat

    Since a good number of the assorted health professionals that make up the US Public Health Service Commissioned Corps (“America’s Health Responders”) are physicians, nurses, dentists, veterinarians, allied health professionals, etc., it is safe to assume they already know how to use syringes, Gohmert, you silly, ignorant ass. Shame on you. Put your dunce cap back on (again) and go sit in the corner where you belong.

    “For more than 200 years, the U.S. Public Health Service Commissioned Corps has been our Nation’s frontline protecting against the spread of disease…underscores the value to our Nation of having a highly trained, multidisciplinary, and quickly mobilized cadre of medical professionals.”

    So yet another Time Traveling Kenyan Usurper plot to, what, make Gohmert look even stupider than usual?

    Oh, how these drooling goobers must yearn for the good old days of cholera, yellow fever, smallpox, influenza, plague, and of course, the “miasmas” that caused them all.

    • Churchlady320

      Back in the 20s and 30s hill people resisted doctors who were also seen as agents of the gubbmint and repression at that time. They shot at doctors and nurses, stood their ground on nothing bu traditional healing. There’s a lot good about folk medicine – until you come up cancer, heart problems and especially against beriberi from lack of essential vitamins. No one knew or could have figured that from folk wisdom alone, and when doctors with SCIENCE backgrounds provided enriched rice and cured them and their kids – voila! Gubbmint wasn’t so bad after all.

      While Gohmert may always be with us, people getting health treatments and preventive medicine will soon learn how good this program is. I bet not one gubbmint doc will have to force it on ‘em either.

  • Victor_the_Crab

    Where’s Nurse Ratched when you need her?

    • formerlywhatithink

      I want Annie Wilkes to treat Gohmert.