We’ve Voted to Secede, Now What?

Out of the eleven counties that voted to secede from Colorado yesterday, five of them including Yuma, Cheyenne, Phillips, Kit Carson, and Washington voted in favor of secession while the other six rejected it.

Here’s a breakdown of the vote from the Denver Post


Now that these five counties have voted to embarrass themselves, what happens next? Do they go to Disney Land?

The creation of a 51st state would require the approval of Congress, and as you’re probably aware Congress can’t even tie their shoes without someone holding their hand, so it’s highly unlikely that these five counties will be granted their wish anytime soon.

Yuma, Cheyenne, Phillips, Kit Carson, and Washington voted in favor of secession because they disapprove of the state’s gun control laws and the unparalleled tyranny of renewable energy standards.

The latter reason is exceedingly ironic when you consider that these counties were among the hardest hit by catastrophic flooding in September that was undoubtedly exacerbated by climate change.

  • JozefAL

    It looks like some of the earlier commenters are missing a point: The pro-secessionists are NOT wanting to leave the country; they want to leave the STATE of Colorado. The US Constitution DOES provide for forming a new state from part of an existing state or states (or even forming a new state by combining two or more states–or even becoming part of another state) but it does NOT provide for forming a new country.

    However, even taking a look at the map of Colorado, the counties that voted TO secede do form a compact unitary state. The counties that voted ON the measure did not (Moffat County is in the far northwest of Colorado, while the other 10 counties are all along the borders with Kansas and Nebraska) so it would’ve been pretty interesting to see how a state would’ve functioned with another full state separating its two parts. It’s not quite like Virginia or Michigan (where part of the state is geographically separated by a body of water). Also, I don’t know how some of its neighbors (Wyoming and Nebraska, especially) would react to its becoming a full-fledged state. There are already outcries in most of the Western states that they are “under-represented” in Congress (because of the 435-seat limit imposed back about a century ago, 4 states with only 1 seat in the House actually exceed the “average number” for each representative; currently, using 2010 Census figures, a member of the House “represents” just over 708,000 people but Alaska, Delaware, Montana and South Dakota all have more than 708,000 residents but are only allotted 1 House seat) so I don’t think they’d be very enamored of a state with just over 42000 people (per 2010 Census figures) getting representation in the US Congress. Even including ALL the counties that wanted to secede, the population of all 11 counties only comes to a little over 362000 people (with almost 70% of the whole population of the potential state living in 1 county) which is still less than 2/3 as many people as live in Wyoming per the 2010 Census.

    Don’t even get started on the outrage from residents of DC at this upstart “state” getting seated in Congress.

  • bbcaaat

    Give them what they asked for. Complete elimination of both state, and federal programs. Send them the bill for the roads and infrastructure. Maybe a few circling F-15s would be a nice touch.

  • Lazarus Durden

    Fuck letting them go. I lived through Dubya. I lived through all the horseshit they’ve done, and are still doing. Force them to live through the evolution they refuse to participate in. Let them see “their America” crumble before their eyes. Fuck ‘em. They’re in a democracy and they don’t get to quit just because the rest of us are finally tired of their shit.

  • mrbrink

    It would almost be worth it just to see them try to exchange their coined money for dollars when their economy crashes after a flood. They’ll have to produce passports when crossing the border and we’ll have to establish a militarized zone perimeter wall along their borders, construct prisons for their extended incarcerations, deport them when they wander across, sanction them for trade violations, place crippling tariffs on their goods, and after years of laughter and prolonged hilarity at their expense, we’ll eventually get bored and just invade them over the 4th of July weekend, easily reclaiming U.S. territory in the name of shits and giggles. I feel bad for the kids these imbeciles are damaging.

    • Brutlyhonest

      I feel bad for the kids these imbeciles are damaging.

      Funny you should mention that as my wife and I were discussing yesterday (I think it was yesterday) how the kids in this shithole in which I reside (aka East Wingnuttistan) are faced with the daunting task of overcoming the stupid of their parents. They are not doomed to become their parents; they can choose to look at them and say, “Holy fuck I don’t want to be that!” Worked for me, but I know most of the people I grew up with are copies of the closed-minded bigots their parents were/are.

      • Lazarus Durden

        That’s the primary reason I’m leaving East TN and heading to DC: a fucking job. There are no jobs here. I work part time for a major airline and out of 33 part time employees 10 of us have four year degrees. Ten. That’s how awful the economy is here, but don’t tell the Wingnuts that. Nope they just need God and Guns and the Free Market will cure all ills.

    • IrishGrrrl

      This was my argument when TX was talking about secession in the not so distant past. What it takes to actually BE a country is far beyond what any current state government can handle…especially those with Republican dominated politicians. Hell, if they can’t run their own state/county successfully how could they run a country with all those extra responsibilities?

      • Norbrook

        I pointed it out a while back that the worst thing we could possibly do to Texas is to allow them to secede.

  • eljefejeff

    Let me guess….they’re republican counties….

  • Brutlyhonest

    1) Pack everyone who voted to secede into boats that are extremely over capacity (2) set them adrift in international waters and (3) inform them that they damned well better drift away from the USA because they are not welcome.

  • muselet

    TPM commenter “jokster9000″:

    They should make them into the District of Northern Colorado, tax them, eliminate their congressional district except for an honorary member, and then refuse to give them a senator.

    Sounds fair.


    • trgahan

      and set a 100 year minimum time line for annexation back to Colorado, just so they can’t jump right back in when the GOP controls the state house again and the president of the U.S. is the appropriate color and party.

  • Marlboro.Stan

    If they were serious they would just stop participating in America. Send President Obama their Declaration Of Independence. Its getting so old watching all this nonsense going on in America.

  • Zen Diesel

    I would let them go, and set a deadline to cut off state funding.

    • KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker

      And also send them a bill for all infrastructure that ever received a penny in Federal or State funding. I’m talking every road, bridge, school, hospital, town hall, municipal building, electrical substation, courthouse, police station…..everything including every stoplight and streetlight!
      Then just watch these yokels stammer and back peddle.

      • IrishGrrrl

        Don’t forget the bill for the FEMA assistance provided after the latest flood.

    • Christopher Foxx

      I’d cut off funding now, whether they ever go or not. Let them try it that way.