Scott Walker Enlists in the War on Christmas

If you would like to give the gift that keeps on screwing you over this Holiday season, you can donate to Governor Scott Walker rather than buy that GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip.


While liberals like myself are doing their part in the War on Christmas by setting up their own Christmas tree for the first time in their lives, conservatives like Scott Walker are asking you to give to them rather than to your family.

And what will you get in return? Even less gratitude than your children will give you for buying the wrong toy.

Walker claims that he will deliver you from poverty, improve your child’s education, and free you from the burden of government aide, but if you examine the evidence only the latter appears to be true.

Under Scott Walker, Wisconsin has seen massive cuts to healthcare and education while the state has remained at the bottom or near the bottom in job creation. Unless you’re a corporation that has recently received a tax cut funded by those cuts to healthcare and education, Walker isn’t making it rain.

If this is an indication of what Scott Walker plans to run on in the future, it’s nearly identical to the wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing playbook Paul Ryan is running on.

They’re bringing the gospel of “prosperity” to the inner city where people aren’t even half as dumb as Walker and Ryan think they are.

  • D_C_Wilson

    After all the money the Kochs pumped into his last two campaigns, why is he bothering the people of Wisconsin? If he needs money, he should go to his real constituents again.

  • Norbrook

    Give to Scott Walker, so Wisconsin residents can live in their own “Christmas Carol,” just like the Cratchits! Just without the ghosts visiting Walker or any of that socialist “change of heart” stuff!

    • D_C_Wilson

      I was hoping for Walker to experience his own, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” except the angel shows him how much happier and more prosperous the people of Wisconsin would be if he’d never been born.

  • nicole

    I hope that prick is kidnapped and ditched on an uninhabited island.

    Failing that, I really hope that Democrats put up a winner against him, and make him eat the fucking dirt he has dished out to Wisconsin.

  • zirgar

    Instead of electronics or toys that will undoubtedly be outdated, broken or lost by next Holiday Season, help give your children a future-free Wisconsin that’s ensconced in a political ideology that’s been outdated, broken or lost since the early 1900’s!