Super Stupid Wingnuts

Your WTF of the Day

Are you a woman? Are you planning a girls’ night out? Do you like to drink?

Alaska state Senator Pete Kelly (R) wants to put pregnancy tests in bars to ensure that women don’t binge drink while pregnant, but that’s not even the most batshit part of this.

State Sen. Pete Kelly (R) said Monday before the Alaska Senate that birth control may not protect Alaskan women who drink regularly from getting pregnant.

“If you have people who are binge drinking or chronic drinkers, we’re hesitant to say ‘use birth control as your protection against fetal alcohol syndrome,’ because again, as I say, binge drinking is a problem,” he said. “If you think you can take birth control and then binge drink and hope not to produce a fetal alcohol syndrome baby, you may be very wrong. Sometimes these things don’t work. Sometimes people forget. Sometimes they administer birth control improperly, and you might produce a fetal alcohol syndrome baby.”

We’re hesitant to say? No shit. Birth control has nothing to do with alcohol syndrome.

Sometimes these things don’t work? Of course it doesn’t work. That is not the intended purpose.

This should be a reminder that some (most?) men have no fucking clue how birth control works or what it’s intended for.


  • D_C_Wilson

    Remember, this is party that preaches personal responsibility. Unless you have lady bits, then you’re a ward of the state because you can’t be trusted to make your own decisions.

  • Victor_the_Crab

    Because Alaska state Senator Pete Kelly is of the opinion that the wimmin’ folk are too stupid to know any better.

  • muselet

    So according to Pete Kelly, a woman having access to birth control might not prevent fetal alcohol syndrome, but that same woman peeing on a stick will.

    I imagine Pete Kelly in a rainstorm, staring upward with his mouth agape, and like the turkeys of legend drowning because he’s too damned stupid to close his mouth.


    • drspittle

      We can only hope and pray that that fate will befall him and all his ilk. I’m so sick and tired of these fecal fragments.

  • beulahmo

    What a helpful man. All the adult female friends I’ve known have needed a man to explain that birth control sometimes doesn’t work, and that even though we might take precautions to avoid it, we might end up pregnant anyway. Sex is dangerous for women.

    On an unrelated side note, helpful men like Pete have also explained to us that abortions are what trashy, slutty, irresponsible women who don’t protect themselves from dangerous sex end up using as their only form of birth control, because they went and screwed around without first making sure the penis they’re screwing is attached to a man who will take care of them if they accidentally get pregnant. Those women are so stupid.

  • astrocat96

    Not to defend him–because his idea is pretty silly–but I think his logic isn’t that birth control will prevent your baby from having FAS, but rather that a binge drinker may forget to take birth control properly or the birth control might not work, resulting in a pregnancy which could result in a baby born with FAS. Sen. Kelly obviously didn’t make that terribly clear but that’s what I took from his statement.

    • beulahmo

      Yeah. He is so helpful! I feel like he knows me. My problem is that I don’t really feel like having sex until I’ve had a few drinks. So if I’m out drinking and want to have sex, what should I do? So if I get tipsy and want to have sex, should I use the pee-stick before I go have sex? I don’t understand. Should I go back to the bar after I finish having sex and take the test then? I wish he’d just give me his phone number to have with me when I go out just in case I can’t figure out what to do. When I have a few drinks, I can’t think very hard. This is so confusing. He is so helpful.

    • D_C_Wilson

      That doesn’t actually make any sense either. You have to first have a fetus before it can get fetal alcohol syndrome. If you’re not already pregnant when you have sex, it doesn’t matter if you’re drunk or not. You have to already have a fetus in you before it can be damaged by alcohol.

  • swift_4

    It’s starting to get to the point where I’m wondering if the Republicans are doing some sort of Andy Kaufman level prank on the American Public. They’re just seeing how ridiculously ignorant they can get before we call bullshit.

    • Scopedog

      “It’s starting to get to the point where I’m wondering if the Republicans
      are doing some sort of Andy Kaufman level prank on the American Public.”

      It seems they’ve been playing that prank for a long time.

    • D_C_Wilson

      I’ve felt that way for years.