Super Stupid

Ted Cruz Delivers His Fantasy State of the Union Address

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) will never become the president of the United States but yesterday, ahead of the actual State of the Union address, Ted Cruz delivered his fantasy address which, in his wildest dreams, he will deliver in 2018.

Among other things, Ted Cruz fantasized about eliminating Common Core, abolishing the IRS, and throwing Hillary Clinton in prison.

Cruz joked that, as president in 2018, he recently abolished the Internal Revenue Service and sold the building to Donald Trump who turned it into a hotel. “I’m pleased to say after months of that haunted house, we have finally auctioned off the IRS building to the public, and I for one am particularly pleased that my good friend Donald Trump will be building a hotel where the IRS used to stand,” he said. [...]

And, he joked, Hillary Clinton is in prison. “You know I have to say, we’ve never had a president serving from Leavenworth,” he said about the prison in Kansas. “But had prisoner 260401 been elected president, we would have seen 12 million people here granted amnesty.”

No word on what exactly Hillary Clinton would be imprisoned for in Ted Cruz's fantasy America. Also no word on how he would repeal Common Core which is not a federal program.

I'll remember this when the actual 2018 State of the Union address is delivered. I don't know who will deliver it, but I know it won't be Ted Cruz.