Comedy

Callers Jam Trump’s Anti-Immigrant Hotline With UFO Sightings

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) launched their Victims of Immigration Crime Engagement Office (VOICE) phone hotline yesterday which will purportedly "help" victims of undocumented immigrants.

I and apparently many others believe this is nothing more than an anti-immigrant propaganda hotline, and the hotline was flooded last night with calls reporting sightings of UFOs, alien abductions, Bigfoot, Superman and even Melania Trump.

An ICE official who spoke to Buzzfeed News whined about people using the hotline to voice their opposition to it.

"There are certainly more constructive ways to make one’s opinions heard than to prevent legitimate victims of crime from receiving the information and resources they seek because the lines are tied up by hoax callers," an ICE spokesperson said.

An ICE official who responded to an email from Fusion was far more incensed.

I hope you won’t dignify this group with the attention they are seeking. But if you choose to do so...this group’s cheap publicity stunt is beyond the pale of legitimate public discourse. Their actions seek to obstruct and do harm to crime victims; that’s objectively despicable regardless of one’s views on immigration policy.

The VOICE Office provides information to citizens and non-citizens alike regardless of status, race, etc., whose loved ones have been killed or injured by removable aliens. VOICE provides access to the same information you and other reporters are already able to obtain. Yet this group claims it’s somehow racist to give the same to victims of all races and nationalities? That is absurd.

I think we have a true believer here.

  • Christopher Foxx

    The VOICE Office provides information to citizens and non-citizens alike regardless of status, race, etc.

    The VOICE Office ignores things like race? Really?

    Is the VOICE Office aware of what their “I” in their name stands for?

  • Badgerite

    This is really pretty simple. If you are the victim of a crime, you call the police. Not the immigration service. The simple fact is, crimes need to be investigated and prosecuted before the legal system has the right to proclaim definitively that this person or that person committed said crime. ICE just has no place in that process.
    If a person is apprehended, prosecuted and convicted, and that person is in this country illegally, then ICE would be called in. Not before. This is a stupid stunt. Designed to whip up anti immigration fervor and to put immigrants, legal or otherwise, in fear. Trying to pretend that there is moral high ground in this is preposterous.

    • Christopher Foxx

      Trying to pretend that there is moral high ground in this is preposterous

      pre·pos·ter·ous
      /prəˈpäst(ə)rəs/
      adjective

      1. contrary to reason or common sense; utterly absurd or ridiculous.
      2. standard Republican procedure

  • ninjaf

    The whole thing is stupid but shouldn’t the acronym stand for Victims of Immigrant Crime Engagement Office (VOICE)? Or are they saying that everyone is already a victim of the act of people coming here from other countries — immigration? I am guessing they want us to think the first but actually mean the second.

  • Aynwrong
  • muselet

    I hope you won’t dignify this group with the attention they are seeking. But if you choose to do so…this group’s cheap publicity stunt is beyond the pale of legitimate public discourse.

    “This group.” You mean the Trump administration, yes?

    –alopecia

  • Nefercat

    Wait a minnit. How do you know that you are the victim of a crime by an undocumented immigrant as opposed to someone who is here legally?

    Okay, maybe it comes out after someone is apprehended for the crime. But by then, haven’t the police and prosecutor’s office put the victim in touch with already existing victim’s services offices? What is this specialty office going to do for the victim that other services aren’t already doing?

    Will VOICE stop helping someone if it turns out their attacker was legally in the US?

    And since technically the victim isn’t the victim of a crime by an undocumented person until the undocumented person is convicted, isn’t VOICE kind of late to the game?

    What a petty, ego-stroking, fucking waste of time, money, and resources

    • ninjaf

      There you go using The Logic™ again.

  • Nefercat

    “The VOICE Office provides information to citizens and non-citizens alike regardless of status, race, etc., ”
    ——————————
    Riiiiiight. Because that is who an undocumented person will trust when they are the victim of a crime.

    • Right!? None of the immigrants, legal or not, would use this because they assume that ICE will use it to track them down. They’re not stupid.

  • Username1016

    Do you have the number? I need to make a quick phone call… I think there’s a yeti under my desk.

    • JMAshby

      1-855-48-VOICE

      • Aynwrong

        Who ya gonna call?”

        Oh wait…

    • Aynwrong

      I was attacked by a xenomorph in my backyard last night. I’ll make good use of the hotline.

      • You mean the Dutch Death Metal Band, Xenomorph, is in the US illegally and attacked you? Wow, that’s pretty surreal! You can’t trust those Danes, I tells ya. 😉

        • Aynwrong

          Nah… Just more of the typical “bug hunt” variety (RIP Bill Paxton).

          Didn’t know there was such a thing. Off to the series of tubes to sample some.