Conspiracy Theory Wingnuts

Conspiracy Theory

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Why haven't there been any terrorist attacks (except for the ones that did happen) in the U.S. in recent years? Is it because the threat or likelihood of an attack is simply minor at best?

According to the president of the anti-immigrant Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR), the reason we haven't been attacked is far more nefarious.

“For a lot of us, there’s a sense that the DHS under this administration’s control is trying to sabotage our immigration controls,” [Dan Stein] said. “The point is that every single day coming across our desk at FAIR, we see evidence that this administration is maliciously trying to sabotage our ability to stop immigration, illegal immigration, people coming across our borders.”

“The question of course is why is it we haven’t had more terror attacks in this country,” he added. “The only answer must be that they don’t want to embarrass Obama, who seems to be such an ally.

The Boston Marathon bombers apparently weren't concerned about embarrassing the president nor were the countless number of right-wing lone wolves who've shot up local court houses, foreign consulates, police headquarters, unsuspecting state police officers, or city police officers eating pizza for lunch.

Of course all of those perpetrators were white so I guess they don't count.

It's amusing to consider that, on one hand, far left critics have slammed the president for his use of drones and military power -- even going so far as to say the president is "just like Bush" or "worse than Bush" from time to time -- but on the other hand the far right claims he is a secret terrorist Manchurian candidate.

But what's the point of having an Manchurian ally in the White House if terrorists never use him? What's the point of supposedly weakening our ability to protect our borders if our weak points are never exploited? Where's the end game?

If there's going to be some sort of secret Muslim terrorist coup (or an undocumented immigrant coup) the president should probably implement his nefarious plan soon. He doesn't have much time left to usurp total control before his term is over.

  • Hemidemisemiquaver

    Just after the part quoted by JM, we find the following:

    Please send me money. LOTS of money.

  • aynwrong

    Wingnuts, wingdings, and dingalings. AKA conservatives. All conveniently contained in one political party. That is a realization one only comes to if one is paying attention. Oddly enough, once you fully grasp that fact, it makes want to pay attention much, much less.

  • ChrisAndersen

    Hell, if the terrorists aren’t attacking us as a courtesy to Obama then I say we should keep him in office for life!

  • muselet

    When [FAIR’s Dan] Stein warned that Obama is trying to use immigration to “pack the polls in the long term, reengineer the electorate no matter what the cost or consequences for our society,” {AFA’s Sandy] Rios admitted that that was “a terrible danger,” but said that she was more worried about a completely unverified Judicial Watch report about an ISIS camp near the southern border.

    Jeez, their doctors really need to up their dosages of risperidone.


  • ninjaf

    Stein continued, “To be honest, we also see armies of spiders and bugs coming across our desk but we are pretty sure those are artifacts of oxygen deprivation to the brain and are actually just hallucinogens. But the evidence? Yeah, that’s real.”

  • Nefercat