Conspiracy Theory

Conspiracy Theory

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Trump still hasn't produced evidence that he was legally or illegally wiretapped by President Obama but, if he was in fact wiretapped, Kellyanne Conway has a theory about how it could have been done.

CONWAY: There was an article that week that talked about how you can surveil people through their phones, through their — certainly through their television sets, any number of different ways. And microwaves that turn into cameras, et cetera. We know that is just a fact of modern life.

Ah yes, the old microwave camera trick.

Out of all the ways Trump could be "surveiled" by a third party or even a foreign government, his insecure Android phone is actually the most likely pathway. Trump uses an insecure Android phone for rage-tweeting and browsing dubious fake news websites. And unless Trump is using a specific model of smart TV with a built-in microphone running an Android-based operating system, that's out of the cards.

I don't think I need to explain that there's no such thing as secret microwave cameras.

Now Conway says she doesn't believe Trump Tower was monitored through microwaves. "I'm not inspector gadget," she said on CNN later Monday morning. "I don't believe people are using the microwave to spy on the campaign."

Could have fooled me.

  • Scopedog

    CONWAY: There was an article that week that talked about how you can surveil people through their phones, through their — certainly through their television sets, any number of different ways. And microwaves that turn into cameras, et cetera. We know that is just a fact of modern life.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ad32e3e9fc45bffb34a6dfe893b88de2a9b7ba7f2b62bec411653c519cfe0e9b.gif

  • 1933john

    I’ve been getting good answers from
    my Radar Range since 1977, so there!

  • Georgie
    • Christopher Foxx

      OK, literal LOL at that one.

  • Nefercat

    I’ll bet President Obama actually inserted (all by his very own self) little tiny people in a little tiny submarine into trump, just like in Fantastic Voyage. Now they know everything about him; they just have to avoid the giant fat globules lumbering through his bloodstream.

  • Aynwrong

    I can’t wait to run out to the Apple store and pick the iMicrowave 6.0. I get the best selfies with my microwave.

    • Somebody should tell Kellyanne to stick her head in it, turn it on and see if she can see the CIA on the other side of the camera.

      • Askjrsk

        Repulsive

  • Draxiar

    Microwaves?! Awesome! They can spy and heat up their Hot Pocket at the same time!

  • muselet

    There was an article that week that talked about how you can surveil people.…

    Has anyone asked Kellyanne Conway for clarification on which specific article she was referring to? Because she—or her boss—seemed to confuse surveillance with data collection (you can’t, for example, actually conduct surveillance through an internet-capable television, but boy howdy can the manufacturer get a lot of information about the users).

    Unless the article appeared in Spies & Bad Guys Monthly Review, the article was probably yet another “How to Keep Your Data Safe!” bit of schmuck bait and irrelevant to Donald Trump’s paranoid fantasies.

    –alopecia

    • Christopher Foxx

      Has anyone asked Kellyanne Conway for clarification on which specific article she was referring to?

      You’re asking if reporters actually do their jobs and challenge folks on their claims and keep doing so until they produce them or are shown to be liars?

      Answer is pretty obvious.

  • Badgerite

    Microwave, Smart phone, or Smart TV, for an American citizen, you would still need a warrant from the FISA Court.

  • ninjaf

    Short Conway: “I’m not saying it…I’m just saying that the possibility exists for it to be done. Er go, you should interpret that to mean that that is the method that was used. But I’m not saying it.”

    • Aynwrong

      “I’m not saying, I’m just saying. Ya see what I’m saying?”

      • Nefercat

        Say again?

        • 1933john

          Huh!

      • I work with a guy who says, “I’m just saying” every other sentence and he usually make no effing sense. It makes me want to bang my head against a wall.

        • Askjrsk

          Oh that’s what your problem is. Makes sense. Your parents must be so proud