Conspiracy Theory Election 2016

Donald Trump Goes Full Vince Foster

donald-trump.si_
JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

It's only May, for crying out loud, but the Vince Foster conspiracy theory portion of the general election is already here.

The Washington Post published a story on Trump's plans to dig up every fake scandal you've ever heard of concerning the Clintons and relitigate the 1990s.

Among those fake scandals and conspiracy theories Trump plans to talk about is the death of Vince Foster.

“It’s the one thing with her, whether it’s Whitewater or whether it’s Vince or whether it’s Benghazi. It’s always a mess with Hillary,” Trump said in the [Bloomberg] interview. [...]

“He had intimate knowledge of what was going on,” Trump said, speaking of Foster’s relationship with the Clintons at the time. “He knew everything that was going on, and then all of a sudden he committed suicide.”

He added, “I don’t bring [Foster’s death] up because I don’t know enough to really discuss it. I will say there are people who continue to bring it up because they think it was absolutely a murder. I don’t do that because I don’t think it’s fair.”

I don't bring it up except when I do.

When I quipped that House Republicans may launch a Select Committee on Vince Foster in the Clinton administration I was not entirely serious, but maybe I should have been. Clinton Derangement Syndrome predates Obama Derangement Syndrome by a matter of decades, giving Republicans have far more time to work with it.

It's fitting that Trump would mention Vince Foster and Benghazi in the same breath. The families of the victims of Benghazi have pleaded with Republicans on numerous occasions to stop using their dead loved ones as political props. Over 20 years ago the family of Vince Foster did the same thing; they pleaded with Republicans to stop using him as a prop.

Republicans don't give a single shit about anyone they can't use in an attack ad.

  • muselet

    Tell me this image doesn’t remind you of Donald Trump.

    –alopecia

  • ChrisAndersen

    What’s the over/under on Mena?

  • 1933john

    Five will get you ten, if Trump does’nt call
    Hillary “nigger lover” before November.

    • Dread_Pirate_Mathius

      I’ll take that bet.

      I’ll give you the same odds of this exact quote: “Some people have called her a [REDACTED], but I would never do that – I’m too classy. But some people have called her that and I just think it’s an interesting idea and something voters should think about.”

  • Badgerite

    He “doesn’t know enough to really discuss it”? When has that ever stopped Trump from ‘discussing’ anything. He is soooo “authentic”. Besides, how do we really know that Vince Foster was a real person.
    I haven’t seen his birth certificate. Have you? Besides which, for all we know, he isn’t dead at all but just moved to Kenya long ago to raise his alien love child. OH,,,,Wait!!!!!

    • Aynwrong

      Within conservative politics the word “authentic” has been re defined to mean full of shit!

  • Aynwrong

    Ya know, I was a die hard fan of The X Files when I was younger. I loved the absurd, fever dream paranoia that those stories took place in. It helped make that show a great thriller week after week. I hate the fact that this kind of story telling is now associated with the paranoid asshole wing of the GOP.

    Some people had their childhoods ruined by Michael Bay, mine is being ruined by these idiots.