Super Stupid

Everything is Dumber Than You Can Imagine

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Herman Cain is a former Republican presidential candidate who once stood up on a Republican primary debate stage and told us we need a "9-9-9" plan for the economy.

Cain was never able to clearly tell us what the three nines would be, but his inner pizza parlor manager thought it sounded catchy and, evidently, so did Donald Trump.

The Washington Post reports that Trump recently called Cain into a meeting in the Situation Room where Trump said we need a "9-9-9" plan for the border.

Trump recently gathered with generals and other military leaders for a meeting about the Mexican border, according to two people familiar with the chain of events who spoke on the condition of anonymity to freely describe the discussions. At the meeting, which was held in the White House Situation Room, an aide passed Trump a note informing him that Cain was in the building.

Trump summoned Cain to the meeting, and then told the military brass that they needed to come up with a “9-9-9” plan for the border. The joke fell flat.

The Onion's job must be incredibly difficult now because the truth of the Trump regime is often more ridiculous than anyone would ponder.

The good news is Herman Cain is withdrawing his name for consideration for a seat on the Federal Reserve Board.

  • Badgerite

    How does being an executive in a pizza company qualify anyone for the Federal Reserve or anything else in government?
    It’s a pizza company.

  • muselet

    Herman Cain will doubtless claim he’s withdrawing his name from consideration for the Federal Reserve to protect his family from the scurrilous attacks on his character that would result from the public’s reminder of the (credible) claims of sexual misconduct against him.

    Cain will certainly not admit the real reason he’s withdrawing: because he’s too ridiculous a figure for even some R Senators to support. Unfortunately, for some reason Stephen Moore is considered less ridiculous than Cain.

    As for this—

    Trump summoned Cain to the meeting, and then told the military brass that they needed to come up with a “9-9-9” plan for the border. The joke fell flat.

    —all I can say is what joke?

    –alopecia

  • stacib23

    This Herman Cain thing is cracking me up. This Republican Senate has confirmed, without question or challenge, every goofball that has been put before them. It got to the black guy, and NOW they are concerned with qualifications? OMG, that’s funny as all hell to me.

  • This is what happens when a guy with NO sense of humor tries to make a joke.

    Oh, and also what happens when a stupid, racist, autocrat who sucks at everything and is basically evil, tries to make a joke.