Evidence that John Schnatter is Big Whiny Pouty Sore Loser

Forbes crunched the numbers for Papa John's and discovered that they could finance healthcare for everyone by raising the prices of their (really crappy) pizza by around three to five cents per pizza.

Last year, Papa John’s International captured $1.218 billion in revenue. Total operating expenses were $1.131 billion. So if Schnatter’s math is accurate (Obamacare will cost his company $5-8 million more annually), then new regulation translates into a .4% to .7% (yes, fractions of a percent) expense increase. It’s difficult to set that ratio against the proposed pie increase, given size and topping differentials, but many of their large specialty pizzas run for $16. Remarkably, a 10-14 cent increase on a $16 pizza falls in a comparable range: .6% to.9%. But the cost transference becomes less equitable if you’re looking at medium pizzas, which run closer to $12, meaning a .8% to 1.15% price increase.

For the sake of argument, let’s say that Papa John’s sells exactly half medium/half large specialty pizzas. Averaging the ranges for both sizes, then averaging that product yields a .86% price increase — well outside the range of what Schnatter says Obamacare will cost him.

So how much would prices go up, under these 50/50 conditions, if they were to fairly reflect the increased cost of doing business onset by Obamacare? Roughly 3.4 to 4.6 cents a pie.

I've tried Papa John's exactly once and hated its pizza. But I suppose for the millions of others who buy it, I'm positive they wouldn't even notice the price increase.

But of course this has nothing to do with actual money or Schnatter's massive fortune. It has everything to do with a rich white conservative Republican throwing a tantrum. And his tantrum means his diminishing employees -- and their families -- won't get health insurance. Good guy.