Super Stupid

Governor Christie Calls for a Military Strike on Queens, New York

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie made an appearance on a local radio show this morning where he gave a tough talk on fighting terrorism.

Christie says it's "unacceptable" that we aren't fighting back and, to that end, he called for launching a military strike on an unspecified location that I will interpret as Queens, New York.

Christie, speaking on WFAN sports radio, said "radical Islamic terrorists are out to kill us," when asked to respond to the Orlando shooting at a gay nightclub that left 49 people dead. The governor said it should spark a military response.

"You've got to get over there and make them pay where they live," Christie said on WFAN's Boomer & Carton Show.

The Orlando shooter, as you may know, was an American citizen born in Queens in 1986. That is "where they live." Is Governor Christie saying we should launch an attack on his neighboring state of New York? Is he saying we should launch an attack on Florida?

Is Chris Christie a blustering manchild?

The idea that we aren't fighting back is preposterous. The U.S. military and our allies have been bombing the self-titled Islamic State since the Fall of 2014. The terrorist organization has lost massive amounts of territory and fighters over the past year, with some estimates putting the number of ISIS fighters killed at over 26,000.

With all of that said, it increasingly appears that the Orlando shooter had little if any connection to ISIS. The shooter reportedly declared his allegiance to the terrorist organization during his attack, but he acted on his own and was not directed by anyone overseas. Furthermore, recent reports indicate the shooter himself may have been gay, having visited the Pulse nightclub every month for the past several years according to witnesses. The shooter also reportedly had a profile on the gay dating app Jack'd. We can only speculate, but it's possible the shooter's self-loathing homophobia had more to do with his attack than religious ideology. It's also possible we may never know.

Did Chris Christie consider any of this information before popping off and calling for military action? Has he even read the news over the past 24 hours?

Unfortunately, Christie was not pressed by his hosts to actually name a specific location we should launch an attack on.

  • ninjaf

    If we invade New York, can we start some nation building within the US? You know — build some roads/bridges, schools, etc.?

  • David Greenberg

    If Christie is thumping his chest he should be very careful not to get his hands caught in his bra straps. Anybody who doesn’t have the self discipline not to weigh 350-400 lbs should not be allowed near public office. In fact I understand he has had gastric bypass surgery and has still managed to balloon himself up to his present humongous size. Pathetic. If Trump can call Rosie O’Donnell a fat pig what endearment must he have for Christy? In fact I wouldn’t exactly characterize Trump as svelte. He doesn’t look like he’s missed too many meals.

    • ninjaf

      Christie is a man. In Trump’s world, only women have weight standards they must meet because reasons.

      • Victor the Crab

        Like, being fuckable to Drumph.

    • Victor the Crab

      The fact Drumph is eating McDonald’s meals on a daily basis is proof of his yuuuuuge girth.

  • Warryn Peece

    If Trump takes out Queens, NY, then he will bring on the End of Times and Jesus will come back to Earth considering that Queens has a large Jewish population.

  • muselet

    Omar Mateen was a violent bigot and, by all accounts, somewhere between unpleasant and a danger to everyone around him, but he was a “radical Islamic terrorist” in exactly the same way Chris Christie is svelte.

    All of Christie’s chest-thumping about military responses and making “them” pay is meaningless posturing, meant to impress the easily-impressed among the American voting public. He’s hoping this plus fetching Donald Trump’s junk food will get him the nod for Attorney General (it won’t).


  • Victor the Crab

    Christie’s really trying to suck up to Drumph here. Guess he’s getting a little tired of fetching Drumph his daily Big Mac and large fries.

  • Aynwrong

    “Unfortunately, Christie was not pressed by his hosts to actually name a specific location we should launch an attack on.”

    Of course he wasn’t. He said this on WFAN. Isn’t that just some sports talk station? He wasn’t talking to journalists. He was talking to a bunch of God damned sports talker shock jocks who probably think this dumb ass macho bloviating is the appropriate response to just about anything. The perfect venue for Republicans.

    In fairness, I have a hard time believing most from the world of broadcast journalism would have been willing to push back against this nonsense.

    Chris Christie desperately needs to take his own advise. “Sit down and shut up!”

    • JMAshby

      Yes, he appeared on a sports show. No, I don’t think any other host would have asked him to name a location either.

      • Aynwrong

        Wasn’t directing any anger or criticism at you JM. Just venting.

  • gescove

    “Is Chris Christie a blustering manchild?” Is this a trick question?