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Greenwald and Snowden Now Appearing Via Orwellian Irony

At an Amnesty International conference this past week(This year’s theme: Protecting our polluted metadata lakes and privacy landfills from Wizards because child poverty, corporate power, concentrated wealth, voter suppression and women’s reproductive rights were just too specific), Glenn Greenwald and Edward Snowden appeared as giant heads brought to us by the latest in propaganda technology and proceeded to remind everyone in Internet Oz that your one wish to see them in a suspended state of dueling irony has been hereby granted.



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Edward Snowden is introduced to adoring fans at an Amnesty International conference in Chicago on Saturday. Photo: Frank Polich/Reuters

This, coming during the week when the ACLU introduced the long-awaited NSA Documents Database, ‘indexed, text-searchable’ and selectively gifted to the world for your know-it-all/hole-in-the-wall, national security peep show-viewing pleasure.

And it’s nothing but the choicest national security beaver shot porn from uncle Glenn’s & Eddie’s own private waterlogged mattress stash, with a few non-leaked, publicly-available documents mixed in to make your spy-brary appear impressive and well-stocked with open & shut evidence to the naked eye.

But the claims from the Corporate/Rebel Alliance are invariably the same as they started: “We’ve still got your Wizard, man!”

And, yeah, I get it. China, Russia and Germany should be pissed and looking for answers. They deserve to know the truth about our national security secrets!  So it’s only right that Greenwald and Snowden assuage their obviously well-founded fears by stealing the blueprint to our national security operations and presenting it to the benign world.

Makes perfect sense in a democracy to have a select few making national security decisions for everyone else.

But here’s an optics tip: If you’re gonna go all Steve Balmer meets “1984″ to continue to promote and sell your mediocre line of privacy lingerie, body condoms and assorted freedom lubes, “Orwellian” is now off limits as a counter-safeword. Got it?

  • ruth crocker

    Amazing how for so many people, the metadata collection “revelation” acts as an invisibility shield for all of the Snowden leaks about the NSA’s international programs, which are doing immense harm to our economy, diplomacy and security,and began as soon as Snowden started grandstanding in Hong Kong. And his supporters truly believe any negative consequences are a just comeupance for daring to have their anonymized phone records in a database.

  • elgallorojo

    Mr. Brink, you most emphatically do not “get it.” Because of this, it’s a good thing for you, if not others, that you were handed citizenship instead of having to earn it by knowing, agreeing with, complying with, and vowing to uphold, the Constitution. You are the best friend the depraved 1% elites can have. Good day to you.

    • mrbrink

      Good day to you as well. Sincerely.

      • drspittle

        MrBrink: you may now add “Best Friend to Depraved 1% Elites” to your Linked In profile, along with “Drooling Obot” and “Jackboot Licker”.

        • MorganleFay

          I love how the only way one is not a drooling Obot is if one is a drooling Greenwaldbot.

    • Ashes Defacto

      Irony is totally not your friend here. I hope one day you see what the rest of us can, cause it ain’t a pretty picture.

    • Lady Willpower

      Speaking of “not getting it”… holy shit.

  • muselet

    “Child poverty, corporate power, concentrated wealth, voter suppression and women’s reproductive rights”? Those are First-World problems, man. The NSA spying on your phone calls is a universal concern. Why, those Chinese peasants don’t even realize how at-risk their smartphone data is!


    • trgahan

      Yeah, my first thought was that the elderly grandmother being pushed out of her barrio home in Rio at gun point to build coffee shop space for the Olympics OR that kidnapped child in Uganda being forced to mine rare earth minerals for smart phones feel much better that one of the biggest human rights organization is focusing on the privacy of first world white people’s Facebook habits….