Gun Fetishists Guns Russia

Gun Nuts Will Buy Anything


While you can still import and purchase AK-47 rifles made by competitors, including a Russian-made version, imports of the original manufactured by Kalashnikov were banned as part of the economic sanctions levied against Russia.

But gun nuts don’t appreciate nuance and they’ve taken to buying up every AK-47 they can get their hands on out of fear that President Obama is coming to take them all.

Laboring almost nonstop, workers at Atlantic Firearms in Bishopville, a Worcester County community on the Eastern Shore, had shipped hundreds of Russian-made AK-47s — an assault rifle prized by both consumers and despots — as buyers wiped out gun dealers’ inventories around the country. The frenzy was brought on, in part, by a suspicion among some gun owners that the Russia-Ukraine conflict was a backdoor excuse to ban guns many Democrats don’t like. Some customers bought eight to 10 rifles for nearly $1,000 each or more, stockpiling them as investments.

You say jump and gun fetishists ask ‘how high?’

In several years President Obama will leave office without ever having snatched up all the guns, but it won’t matter because the next president will almost certainly be coming for our guns as well, right?

Maybe the gun lobby should throw its support behind Democratic candidates since Democrats seem to provide gun stores with the most business.


  • muselet

    The frenzy was brought on, in part, by a suspicion among some gun owners that the Russia-Ukraine conflict was a backdoor excuse to ban guns many Democrats don’t like.

    Oy. Gun-lickers think normal people are as obsessed with their metallic penis extenders as they are.

    We’re not.


  • Once they have, oh let’s say, four AK-47’s, what do they do with them? They have to store them, keep them clean and occasionally test-fire them. They also have to buy ammunition. But then what? You can certainly have a TV in every room of your house, but an AK-47? You can only stroke one of them at a time. It’s not like they’re ever going to actually need them for anything. Eventually they’ll all be expensive dust-collectors.


    • ninjaf

      Gives a whole new meaning to the term “gang bang,” doesn’t it?

    • JMAshby

      Resell them at a higher price than what they paid.

      • Because there are always more suckers.

  • i_a_c

    I have a buddy who occasionally works in the Walmart sports department. He’s licensed to sell guns, so he has to deal with the occasional “Fucking Obama” customer.

    Why? Because Walmart is frequently out of stock of certain popular ammunition. They blame Obama for it all being gone. Uh, no, YOU dimwits are the ones that bought it all up because YOU thought Obama was going to take it.

    I guess it is kind of Obama’s fault, you know, for being black and scaring them shitless.

  • GrafZeppelin127

    Some twit has taken to a month-old Banter article to say that “anti-gunners” are “suckers” because every time they “try to ban” this gun or that gun, people run out to buy them, and the result is that more people have them, which I guess is supposed to be the opposite of what “anti-gunners” want.

    I made the point that “anti-gunners” are not the ones forking over hundreds, or thousands, of dollars to buy an outrageously expensive niche product that no one really needs, just because the NRA tells them someone is “trying to ban” it.

    This person cited this article as proof of his point. I think it proves mine. I think it’s clear who the “suckers” are.

    • JMAshby

      When words have no meaning, you can say these things and believe it.

    • Christopher Foxx

      The AK-47 buying frenzy presents yet another example of a paradoxical consequence of trying to limit gun sales: booming demand.

      What paradox? Tell folks something is going away and they’re rush to get some while they still can. Whether it’s actually going away is irrelevant. This isn’t unique to guns.

      Years ago Johnny Carson joked about there being a toilet paper shortage and shortly afterwards there was a real shortage because panicking people started stockpiling it.