Justice

Hoodie Control

oklahoma-postcard

The Oklahoma legislature will consider a bill next month that would make it illegal to wear a hoodie because what we really need in his country is some hoodie control, not gun control.

Republican Senator Don Barrington will introduce the bill, which would make it a misdemeanor to “wear a mask, hood, or covering” either while committing a crime or in order to intentionally conceal one’s identity. If the bill is passed, offenders would be subject to a fine of $50 to $500, and up to one year in jail.

Who can say with authority that someone is intentionally concealing their identity by wearing a hoodie in public? Who makes that call?

Given that minorities are already subject to racial profiling, criminalizing an item of cloth would only expand the list of dubious reasons why police may harass and imprison people of color.

White people, such as myself, also wear hoodies in public on a regular basis, but if you believe this law would be applied equally I may be able to interest you in some doomsday insurance.

  • Draxiar

    Does this also apply to white hoods?

    • Truth Hertz

      Yes, just not whites in hoods.

  • fry1laurie

    Oklahoma, the state that banned Monks. And Jawas.

    • Truth Hertz

      Jawas are kinda creepy, with their little beady red eyes. Probably up to no good…

  • j hentai

    scene from the republican-controlled congress in oklahoma:representative 1 “hey, we’re about to be up to our oxters in debt and are going to have to cut important shit like schools and roads, what’ll we do? the voter’s will be pissed! at us!!” representative 2: “i dunno! let’s criminalize the wearing of hoodies! fox news is always banging on about them ‘cos “those people” wear them.” rep. 1:”i resent that, i’m a third generation klansman.” rep 2:”not those “those people”. “the blacks”. sure i’m a grand wizard myself.” rep. 1:”anyway, the voters wouldn’t be stupid enough to fall for that, would they?” rep 2:”why not? they re-elected us didn’t they?” both laugh and go back to the house floor to vote for more tax cuts for rich people (and purely coincidentally themselves).

  • muselet

    Clothing has talismanic significance to the Right, it seems.

    –alopecia

  • GrafZeppelin127

    This from the people who want to Get Government Out of Your Life™ and for whom a ban on trans fats is the Greatest Threat to Freedom Ever Faced™.

  • Victor the Crab

    So is this disdainful asswipe trying to cater to the likes of James Inhofe and Tom Corbett by trying to come up with the most awful and embarrassing thing to come out of Oklahoma?

    • bphoon

      …the most awful and embarrassing thing to come out of Oklahoma?

      That’s a pretty high bar to clear.

  • Zen Diesel

    So does the hoodie ban only stand for the town folks or everybody. What if I am an out of towner, staying in this city for a few days, and I get a ticket for wearing one of my many hoodies. I would be well within my right to tell them to kiss my ass. This is definitely would be a bill of unattended consequences…….geesh haven’t these nut cases learned anything after getting pawned by the Satanists over the nativity scene.

    • muselet

      Learned?

      “Hails of derisive laughter, Bruce!”

      –alopecia

  • Christopher Foxx

    Can’t wear a hoodie without getting pulled over? Imagine what will happen if you try to wear a burka or chador.

    • Nefercat

      Oh, I don’t know. Somehow I think women in burkas or chadors is something that the republicans would like to make mandatory.

      Of course, if a man were to wear a burka or chador, well, that must mean he has a case of the gays and must be forcibly converted to ex-gayocity.

      Golly, this could be a real unexpected consequences situation if they don’t think things through (and have they ever?).

      • Christopher Foxx

        Golly, this could be a real unexpected consequences situation if they don’t think things through

        Like gun laws in California, until the Black Panthers took advantage of them?

        Showing them the consequences of their actions is the best way to deal with these stupidities. Store owners claiming it’s against their sincere religious beliefs to serve Republicans. Statues of Satan in City Hall right next to the manger scenes. Etc.

  • aynwrong

    Anyone else notice that this is a law that sounds likes it popped out of a comic book? And probably has about as much connection with reality.

  • Razor

    Will Republicans in Oklahoma follow this rule when they’re wearing hoods around a burning cross?

  • gescove

    Cancel my plans to attend the gala masquerade ball in Tulsa! Not because of the threat of arrest for wearing a costume, but because I might get some Oklahoma stupid on me.