Abortion War On Women

Huckabee Would Also Launch a Witch Hunt Immediately After Taking Office

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Louisiana governor and floundering Republican presidential candidate Bobby Jindal distinguished himself by pledging to launch a politically motivated witch hunt by ordering a range of federal agencies to target Planned Parenthood on his first day in office as president.

Former governor and slightly more relevant candidate Mike Huckabee is apparently very keen on that idea, telling radio listeners that he too would order the Department of Justice to prosecute people for crimes they haven't committed.

When asked on about Iowa radio host Simon Conway about Republican efforts to defund Planned Parenthood after an anti-abortion group released numerous edited videos about the women's health organization, Huckabee said he would use the Justice Department.

"I would have a Justice Department that would begin to criminally prosecute Planned Parenthood for violating federal law and selling body parts," Huckabee told Conway.

The good news is Planned Parenthood has not sold body parts and therefore has not violated federal law.

Huckabee also invoked the extremely radical position of using the Fourteenth Amendment to justify a total ban on abortion; a hypocritical position given the Republican party's derision of the Fourteenth Amendment.

Republicans, and more specifically Mike Huckabee himself, do not believe the Fourteenth Amendment should grant equal protection under the law to gay couples, and Chris Christie does not believe it should grant birthright citizenship, but they would be willing to use it to justify a ban on abortion.

They believe fetuses and zygotes should be granted equal protection under the law, but not actual living, breathing humans with brown skin or specific sexual orientations.

They also do not believe the Supreme Court -- what Huckabee calls an "imperial court" -- is supreme law, depending on whether or not the court delivers a ruling in their favor, but they would ask the court to decide this issue once again.

  • Aynwrong

    Ok, so just out of curiosity, what happens if a woman who is undocumented, is impregnated while she is inside the USA? Does this means that the 14th amendment makes the fetus an American citizen until the moment they are born at which point they can be legally deported?

    Just imagine the George Carlin routine that would *cough* give birth to.

  • muselet

    I think I disliked Mike Huckabee slightly less when he was renting his email list to snake-oil salesmen, stock scammers, fraudulent financial companies, survivalists and assorted other bottom-feeders.

    He was on the grifter gravy train and could sit back, feet up, write something outrageous in his newsletter once in a while and let the checks roll in. I can almost respect someone who manages to pull off a scam that pays off handsomely but requires next to no effort.

    Now, though, he’s just another angry ignoramus in a suit trying to be more outrageous in his promises to The Base than the other angry ignoramuses in suits. The guys he’s competing against haven’t been enjoying the good life, they’ve been out doing the political equivalent of selling aluminum siding and developing a good line of patter. They’re hungrier than he is, they’re more ambitious than he is, and they’re better at political mud-wrestling than he is. Huckabee is ‘way out of his league. He can’t match their outrageousness and looks foolish when he tries, but he has to try or he’ll get swamped.

    One good thing to come of Mike Huckabee running for President again is that he’s dropped the aw-shucks, bass-plucking nice-guy mask and revealed the nasty, snarling rage monster he always was. He’s poured gasoline on his reputation and set it alight, and will dance naked around the flames until he’s asked—more or less politely—to leave.

    Obviously, Huckabee will return to his earlier scam when his presidential campaign goes blooey. It is an open question whether the rubes will forgive and forget.

    –alopecia

    • JMAshby

      The guys he’s competing against haven’t been enjoying the good life, they’ve been out doing the political equivalent of selling aluminum siding and developing a good line of patter. They’re hungrier than he is, they’re more ambitious than he is, and they’re better at political mud-wrestling than he is. Huckabee is ‘way out of his league. He can’t match their outrageousness and looks foolish when he tries, but he has to try or he’ll get swamped.

      It’s funny you say that because I just finished reading this and he says basically the same thing http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/inside-the-gop-clown-car-20150812

      Christie and his wife, Mary Pat, made their way patiently through the crowd, shaking hands and talking football and other topics with a handful of attendees. It was old-school politics, the way elections used to be won in this country, but it was hard not to watch this painstaking one-person-at-a-time messaging and wonder how it competes in the social-media age. […]

      Santorum actually won the Iowa race four years ago with his overcaffeinated, kiss-the-most-babies approach. But watching both he and Christie put their chips on the shoe-leather approach to campaigning feels like watching a pair of Neanderthals scout for mammoth. In the Age of Trump, this stuff doesn’t play anymore.

      • muselet

        Donald Trump is sui generis—I was thinking more of Ted Cruz and Rand Paul and Bobby Jindal, guys who speak lunatic as a first language—but yeah, Huckabee, Christie and Santorum are relics.

        –alopecia

  • Toolymegapoopoo

    I cannot even imagine what it must be like to be a person who just wants lower taxes and the Federal government to have less power and be smaller. I walked past the lobby television this morning and Rick Santorum was being interviewed on CNN. He is currently polling ZERO PERCENT among GOP voters. Switch the channel and all you’ll hear about is what front runner Donald Trump (are you fucking kidding me?!?!) thinks is coming out of Megyn Kelly’s crotch. It has been nothing but wall-to-wall coverage of the various ways the current GOP field of candidates display how stupid or batshit insane they are. I disagree with my conservative friends on almost everything, but damn do I feel bad for them right now. They are all northeast conservatives which means, with some exceptions, they don’t give a damn about shutting down Planned Parenthood and certainly don’t believe Mexicans are rapists. The GOP surely seems hell-bent on creating a shit-ton of moderates in the next few years.