Cartoon Conspiracy Theory Open Thread

Intelligent Life

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

(Cartoonist - Rob Rogers)

While some Texas politicians, including Governor Gregg Abbot, have defended their close scrutiny of the Operation Jade Helm training exercise by saying that they're only responding to the concerns of citizens, has anyone considered what those concerns actually look like?

The Boston Globe did and what they found is truly disturbing.

You should read the full story if the extent of this mass delusion fascinates you, but here's a taste:

BASTROP, Texas — Texans in pickup trucks rolled in from hundreds of miles around on a Monday morning in late April, passing by water towers adorned with smiley faces that hover cheerfully over the county seat. They pulled up in the town center, near a catfish house called Paw-Paws and a barber shop offering old-fashioned shaves.

As they filed by the dozens into the county courthouse, past a stone memorial dedicated to American veterans, it seemed from all outward appearances like a wholesome exercise in local democracy.

What happened next was anything but wholesome as paranoid residents accused a U.S. Army Colonel -- who insisted that the military was not tunneling under local Wal-Marts to take control of their town -- of lying to their faces.

Jim Dillon was not convinced. A contractor who drove 70 miles from his home in Liberty Hill, he rose from his seat holding a handmade sign that read: “No Gestapo in Bastropo.”

“I didn’t believe a single thing he just said,” Dillon declared. The crowd applauded with gusto.


Not long after [Alex Jones] began raising alarm bells about Jade Helm, officials in Bastrop began hearing from concerned residents. Phones began ringing in the county commissioners’ offices. Skeptical messages popped up on Facebook, and people began approaching community leaders at church gatherings. They were worried about the government coming to take their guns. There was a sense that President Obama would be willing to do anything to crush dissent.

One of those who began to grow increasingly worried was Terry Wareham, a local Tea Party leader.

“Probably a couple of years ago, I wouldn’t even be concerned,” she said. “But with the federal government the way it is right now, I’m really concerned about the military coming here and doing this kind of training.”

As unhinged as you believe locals may be, the reality is even worse.

I don't know if it's fair to call his Obama Derangement Syndrome. It's simply deranged. And I don't think it will go away in January of 2017. It's seems more likely to me that Hillary Clinton, should she become president, will be the new face of the vast liberal conspiracy.

  • Christopher Foxx

    But with the federal government the way it is right now, …

    By which she means “run by a nigger” and, worse, a Democrat.

    These people can’t die off fast enough.

  • Draxiar

    I find it hard to see how the shit that Alex Jones vomits over the radio isn’t seditious. Clearly the yickadoos that attended the town hall meeting weren’t going to accept anything other than what they wanted to believe. Seems they WANT to have a reason to play “Wolverines!” and fight against the very military they used to support via their absolute-very-least-you-can-do yellow ribbon bumper sticker.

  • RamOrgan

    If by some fluke Bernie Sanders is the next president, the Repubs will oppose all that he tries to do just to “prove” that they’re not racist.

    • ninjaf

      At least he really IS a socialist.

  • Morons. Just morons.

    And you’re absolutely right. Hillary Derangement Syndrome will be the sequel.