Election 2016

It’s Happening: Donald Trump is Running for President

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

I can't even write that title with a straight face.

The Donald has proven us all wrong; he really is running for president.

NEW YORK—New York real-estate developer and television personality Donald Trump announced he is running for president in 2016, a move that threatens to upend the already crowded Republican primary field.

After publicly toying with a presidential bid five times since 1988, Mr. Trump formally declared his candidacy for the first time at a skyscraper named for himself.

Trump just finished speaking about 20 minutes prior to this writing so there is no video of his speech available yet, but take my word for it: it was a word salad of epic proportions, contradictions, and falsehoods. It was protectionist, xenophobic, elitist and veered into Sarah Palin territory more than once.

Current polling suggests Trump would be included in the top 10 list of candidates that would qualify for primary debates.

  • sawadee2000

    I can hardly wait to hear Trumps “secret plan” for eliminating ISIS. I know he’ll tell us all the details as soon as his crack investigative team gets back from Hawaii with the President’s Kenyan birth certificate.

  • Nefercat

    “The Donald has proven us all wrong; he really is running for president.”
    —————————————-
    No he hasn’t and no he isn’t. He is nothing more than a narcissistic gasbag who has enough money to do more than just sit and bitch down at the corner bar about how he would be so much better than all of the candidates.

    He will have cameras and microphones pointing at him, courtesy of our idiot media, feeding his delusional gigantic swelled up ego until at some point he withdraws with some stupid ass excuse, most likely before the debates where he would be expected to line up as just one of many clowns.

  • Toolymegapoopoo

    During his speech this megalomaniac stated he was running for president to “make our country great again.” Why is it that only conservatives get away with saying this? No two ways about it, they are saying that America is not great. It isn’t clear if they are saying that directly to the families of the troops fighting and dying over seas, but…

    Remember how the right shit a brick when Michelle Obama said something about being proud of her country for the first time when her husband was elected? How is what Trump said any different?

  • aynwrong

    Great picture choice JM. Perfectly represents the base of the GOP.
    Just don’t feed em after midnight.

    • JMAshby

      The GOP primary

      • aynwrong

        Oh God!!! It really is spot on perfect.

  • aynwrong

    I’m just grateful that he declared while Jon Stewart is still on the air for a little while longer. This will be like a going away gift for him.

  • muselet

    I never had any doubt Donald Trump would announce. The only question was when.

    He probably didn’t want to jump into the race so early, but with the first GOP primary debate coming up in seven weeks, Trump had to make his move now. Otherwise, he’d be seen as the yippy little dog chasing the clown car as it careers wildly down the road.

    I do hope someone at his first press availability asks The Donald about his multiple bankruptcies. It’s fun to watch him sputter indignantly and turn several shades of red.

    –alopecia

    • Christopher Foxx

      I never had any doubt Donald Trump would announce.

      I did.

      First, because we’ve been down this road before in previous cycles it was clear he was (true to form) all bluster and would never actually formally run.

      Second, because Trump never does anything I like. And I’m seriously going to enjoy his candidacy.

    • McKinley

      When his multiple bankruptcies are brought up, Trump argues they weren’t his, they were by holding companies he lent his name to.

      • muselet

        “That’s a lie! I’ve never gone bankrupt! You take that back! I’ll sue!” All said in a loud, indignant tone while his face gets redder and redder and redder. Even the tribble on his head seems to tremble in outrage.

        He is right, he’s never filed for personal bankruptcy, but at least the first corporate Chapter 11 filing was pretty much all on him. His creditors have accepted shares in the bankrupt companies after each bankruptcy, so right now he has only a 5% stake or so in Trump Entertainment or whatever it’s called.

        All that said, poking The Donald with a stick and watching the huffy reaction is great good fun.

        –alopecia

  • swift_4

    Trump will be like the cherry on top of the shit sundae. I’m so excited. Everyone needs to answer their land lines if they still have one, just in case it’s a Republican poll. Trump is the best answer for all things. Let’s make this guy the candidate.