Birthers

Joe Arpaio is Going Full Birther One Last Time

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Infamous birther posse sheriff Joe Arpaio lost his bid for reelection and will soon be replaced by a less disgusting person, but before he goes America's racist uncle is holding one last press conference to talk about President Obama's birth certificate.

PHOENIX - Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio and Chief Investigator Mike Zullo will be talking about President Barack Obama’s birth certificate on Thursday.

According to MCSO, Arpaio and Zullo will be presenting the “newest revelations” to the investigation of Obama’s birth certificate.

The press conference will be held at 4 p.m. on Thursday in Phoenix.

The unforgettable photo placed at the top of his post was taken the last time Arpaio held a press conference to talk about the president's birth certificate. In that press conference, Arpaio talked about the president's certificate having "layers" that somehow proved it was forged.

The spectacle of that press conference was so absurd that it more or less served as a breaking point for congressional Republican leaders who had, up until that point, gladly danced around the issue by neither confirming or confronting birtherism. "I take him at his word" they said.

But that wasn't the end for Republican voters or despot-elect Donald Trump who, as recently as two months ago, took credit for pushing birtherism.

I'd like to say this story will be put to rest after President Obama leaves office, but I don't believe it will be. There are still people in the world who believe the Apollo moon landing was a hoax and racism is a much more powerful force than Cold War-era conspiracy theorem.

  • 1933john

    Arpaio is seml-white;
    Obama is semi-black;
    That’s all there is to it.

  • Aynwrong

    I know they’re not at all worth it but, I hate these people.

  • Please Arpaio, don’t let the door hit ye where the good Lord split ye!

  • Dread_Pirate_Mathius

    Here’s the thing I’ve never understood about Birther-ism.

    Obama’s mother is an American citizen, yes?

    That means, by birth, Obama was a US citizen. A Natural US citizen. By birthright. As American as the rest of us. As eligible for the Presidency as the rest of us.

    He could have been born on the moon, and it wouldn’t make any difference. McCain wasn’t born in the US. Neither was Ted Cruz.

    Meanwhile, the second “layer,” if you will, that he gave up his citizenship when his father moved him to Indonesia doesn’t hold water because the state department won’t let you renounce citizenship until you are 18 and can do so for yourself. And, in any event, citizenship isn’t just something you lose like a misplaced cell phone. You have to fill out a form and submit it. So that is pretty objectively nonsense, too.

    So, while I’m positive he was born in Hawaii, I just don’t understand why it matters. Other than just saying “racism,” can someone explain it to me?

    • muselet

      Because if Barack Obama actually was a furriner, then everything he did for the past eight years would be invalidated and President John McCain would be retroactively inaugurated, so …

      Oh, to heck with it. No, I can’t explain it.

      –alopecia

    • Nefercat

      I believe you are correct. You can be an American citizen from the moment of your birth, either by being born to an American citizen, or by being born on American soil. No further processes or procedures necessary. I think most people without an ax to grind would consider this to be a logical definition of a “natural-born” citizen. Birthers are not logical and have a huge honking ax to grind so they aren’t gonna be swayed by liberal godless commie* facts, nosirree.

      In their minds, he was born in Kenya so can’t be a natural-born citizen case closed. Or, his mother’s citizenship is an issue for some tortured reason, so he can’t be a natural-born citizen case closed. Pointing out that the constitution does not define natural-born gets reasonable people nowhere with these nitwits.

      It matters only if you are a racist jackass.

      *Whoopsies, I guess the commies are now the good guys/our new overlords.

    • Christopher Foxx

      That means, by birth, Obama was a US citizen. A Natural US citizen. By birthright. As American as the rest of us. As eligible for the Presidency as the rest of us.

      You mean exactly the same argument that was used for Panama-born John McCain also works for Barack Obama? Why, that would require consistency and common sense. No wonder birthers utterly fail to grasp it.

  • muselet

    I hope no news organizations show up for Joe Arpaio’s news conference. He doesn’t deserve the publicity. On the other hand, Righty media will be out in force, so having a more objective report would be useful.

    Maybe sane reporters could draw straws and have a pool reporter cover Arpayaso’s demented ravings. No sense in everyone suffering, after all.

    –alopecia

    • That would be perfect….not a single member of the respectable press showing up.

  • Badgerite

    Well, yes, of course, because where else would a newly married 18 year old girl who was born and raised in America go to have her first child but the ultra modern and clearly superior medical facilities in the Kenya of 1961 while her husband was studying in the United States? This crap has always defied simple common sense. But then, these are the people who gave us a PEOTUS who tells more lies before breakfast than most people do their entire lives. He tells the “best” lies.