Kris Kobach Would Like Fries With That

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Trump has reportedly chosen former GOP Senator and failed gubernatorial candidate Ken Cuccinelli to serve in a top immigration post at the Department of Homeland Security and that's a whole other dumpster fire we'll have to deal with, but this post is for laughing at Kris Kobach.

Trump reportedly passed over the former Kansas secretary of the state for the role because Kobach made a preposterous list of demands before he would take the job.

According to the New York Times, this is what Kobach demanded:

1. Office in the West Wing

2. Walk-in privileges with the president

3. Assistant to the President rank -- at highest pay level for WH senior staff

4. Staff of 7 people (2 attorneys, 2 research analysts, 1 scheduler, 1 media person, 1 assistant)

5. POTUS sits down individually with Czar and the secretaries of Homeland Security, Defense, Justice, Ag, Interior, and Commerce, and tells each of the Secretaries to follow the directives of the Czar without delay, subject to appeal to the President in cases of disagreement.

6. 24/7 access to either a DHS or DOD jet. Czar must be on the border every week.

7. Ability to spend weekends in KS with family on way from border back to DC, unless POTUS needs Czar elsewhere.

8. Security detail if deemed necessary after security review.

9. Serve as the face of Trump immigration policy - the principal spokesman on television and in the media.

10. Promise that by November 1st, 2019, the President will nominate Kris Kobach to be DHS Secretary, unless Kobach wishes to continue in Czar position.

So, it sounds like Kobach was asking Trump to gift him a presidential campaign or perhaps just make him the shadow president.

Out of this list of demands, I would say number five is the most insane demand. Department secretaries would have been well within their rights to tell Kobach to get fucked if he commanded them to do something.

  • waspuppet

    Out of this list of demands, I would say number five is the most insane demand.

    True, but you know #9 was the actual dealbreaker.

  • muselet

    To say Kris Kobach is delusional is a considerable understatement (but we knew that already).


  • fry1laurie

    Where’s the listing for green M&Ms?

  • mnpollio

    This is without a doubt the most absurd list of requests for a job applicant to make that I have ever seen. He comes across as someone holding all the cards and waiting for the employer to bow down and kiss his ass. Surely he must know that Trump only kisses the asses of the leaders of Russian, North Korea and any other authoritarian regime on the rise. I would say it is funny, but there really is nothing funny about it when you realize he was taken seriously and that this horse’s ass (like Trump himself and the majority of conservatives) keeps failing upwards despite monumental failures.

  • Draxiar

    While reading this list I was thinking that maybe the demands are so preposterous so as to purposely avoid being considered for the position. Then I remembered that this is the Republican Party we’re talking about….it was serious.