Comedy Election 2016

Lindsey Graham Says the GOP Will Probably Lose

Senator and former GOP presidential candidate Lindsey Graham (R-SC) stunned quite a few people when he announced his support for fellow Senator Ted Cruz after joking about killing Cruz just a few weeks earlier.

Graham qualified his support for Cruz by saying he's the only realistic alternative to Donald Trump, but Graham now says he doesn't necessarily expect to win even if Ted Cruz somehow becomes the GOP nominee.

Graham predicted that Republicans "probably will" lose in 2016, saying Trump would be defeated by Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton while Cruz represented "a fighting chance" for Republicans.

"I'm not going to stand behind a guy that gets David Duke's support," Graham said of Trump. "So it's no longer about winning the election for me, it's trying to salvage a party that I love and conservatism as I know it."

What Lindsey Graham, Paul Ryan, and many other Republicans don't seem to understand is it's not their party anymore. If Donald Trump or Ted Cruz become the nominee, it's their party. You could argue the party is already theirs.

Today's GOP is more radical than it was in the previous cycle, and the cycle before that, and the cycle before that. For as long as I've been alive, the party has only grown more radical. It has never moderated.

I can't think of anything short of a total, historic blowout in November that might break the GOP's fever, but there's no guarantee even that would do the trick. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan and Senator Lindsey Graham have already seeded the idea that Trump does not represent conservative values and thus conservatism cannot lose in November because it won't be on the ballot.

They may be right. Conservative values, whatever the hell that means at this point, may not be on the ballot but the Republican party will be and it's set to go down in flames thanks in large part to their own base of voters who winnowed the field of presidential candidates down to Donald Trump and Ted Cruz.

  • mzmijewski

    This is the party who only watches Fox news. Do you think that all those years of lies helped create this Frankenstein? Or should I say these Frankensteins.

    • Jesus Zamora

      The problem (for them) is that the Frankenstein has turned on Fox News. Don’t you know, it’s part of the “liberal” media now.

  • swift_4

    They created the monster. They set the monster loose, thinking it would destroy libruls. The monster turned on them. They are currently in denial that the monster is dangerous to them.

    The only question is whether the monster kills them or they do what is necessary to kill the monster.

  • Draxiar

    When your party has the bullet proof philosophy that ‘conservatism can’t fail it can only be failed’ you’re destined to stagnate and die or try harder at the same failed ideas…and die. Essentially they’re trying to dig their way out of a hole because they’re sure that it will work so trying anything else is pointless. It’s a tenacious violence on adaptability.

  • Badgerite

    Note to Lindsey Graham: One can only hope.

  • Victor the Crab

    Nobody’s buying what you’re selling Lindsey Graham. Donald Trump is the monster you Republican assholes helped create, yet you’re going around not taking responsibility for your actions. Even Dr. Victor Von Frankenstein realised the errors of his ways.

  • muselet

    Lindsey Graham’s argument—he’s doing this for the good of the Party (cue the kazoo band to play Battle Hymn of the Republic)—sounds incoherent, which is saying a lot because it is Lindsey Graham we’re talking about. However, what makes it art is: (a) he hates Ted Cruz but will tepidly endorse him; (b) that lukewarm support will allow him to pivot to supporting Donald Trump if necessary; (c) if either one wins, he can claim to have supported the party’s nominee; (d) if either loses, he has already expressed his distaste for the man. No matter what happens in November, Graham’s fingerprints will have been wiped off.

    It’s simultaneously stunningly cynical and politically suicidal: he’s not up for reelection until 2020, but The Base is not and will not be in a forgiving mood. Maybe he’s going to start auditioning for a regular gig on the Sunday yak shows (because there aren’t nearly enough supposed Wise Republicans clogging up the television already).

    Regardless of whom the Rs put up, if he loses we can expect a particular Scotsman to be paraded before the mob until 2020.


    • Jesus Zamora

      I think at this point, the Republicans who aren’t fucking nutjobs are all looking to get to the talk circuit before the whole thing burns to the ground. Can’t say I blame them.

      • muselet

        Yeah, pretty much.

        Hard to feel sorry for them, though.


  • They didn’t learn in 2008. They won’t learn in 2016.

    • Jesus Zamora

      The best chance for them to learn was 2012, when a post-mortem said that they lost the WH BECAUSE they alienated everyone who wasn’t a white male, and the party ignored it. The Republican party, as it stands today, is an opposition party. They’ll never get anything done until they learn to regard the fundies the way the Dems regard the Greens.