Comedy

Marco Rubio is Being Evicted

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

This is not a drill.

Senator Marco Rubio is being thrown out of his office in Tampa, Florida. Really.

The owner of Bridgeport Center, a gleaming, nine-story office center at 5201 Kennedy Blvd., notified Rubio's office on Feb. 1 that it will not renew its lease. The reason: The rallies have become too disruptive to the other tenants and a costly expense for the company, said Jude Williams, president of America's Capital Partners.

"A professional office building is not a place for that," Williams said. "I understand their cause, but at the end of the day it was a security concern for us.

This, as you may know, is Rubio's fault. Rubio has refused to hold any town hall meetings because his constituents may be mean to him. Or something.

Daily protests that disrupt normal operations in Rubio's office building may not be necessary if he wasn't so bad at his job.

Rubio's staff have until Friday of this week to exit the premises.