Fail

Melania Sues Because She Can’t Profit Off Being FLOTUS

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

I shit you not, Melania Trump has filed a lawsuit against The Daily Mail over a story that alleged that she once worked for an escort service.

Attorneys representing Melania says she's been denied a "once in a lifetime opportunity" to profit from being the first lady.

The suit — filed Monday in New York Supreme Court, a state trial court, in Manhattan — against Mail Media, the owner of the Daily Mail, said the article published by the Daily Mail and its online division last August caused Trump’s brand, Melania, to lose “significant value” as well as “major business opportunities that were otherwise available to her.” The suit said the article had damaged her “unique, once in a lifetime opportunity” to “launch a broad-based commercial brand.”

“These product categories would have included, among other things, apparel accessories, shoes, jewelry, cosmetics, hair care, skin care and fragrance,” according to the lawsuit, which was filed on Trump’s behalf by California attorney Charles Harder.

Honestly, I forgot she was accused of working for an escort service. I suspect many people have forgotten, at least until now, because no one really cares.

On the list of reasons why people may not be interested in a Trump family brand, allegedly working for an escort service is probably near the bottom. The fact that her husband is a racist despot and her children look like serial killers undoubtedly weigh heavily on the minds of many shoppers.

Ivanka Trump's brand has cratered and she's never been accused of anything untoward. On the contrary, Ivanka has been the subject of many naive, glowing profiles and yet that hasn't helped her business.

Virtually everyone with an internet connection has probably seen Melania's Playboy photos, and no one really cares about that either. If anything, considering today's cultural environment where stars are born with racy Instagram photos, Melania's past may be a marketing boon, not a hindrance.

This lawsuit will do far more to harm Melania's personal brand than the original allegation.

  • Badgerite

    Nope. Her and Ivanka’s marketing problem is President So Called. Pure and simple and PERIOD. Those of us who still care about this country as the “shining city on a hill” hate them for what they have helped do to this country. Whiners.

  • Christopher Foxx

    The more I think about this t more the utterly morally bankrupt entitlement of it just astounds me, while at the same time not surprising me at all.

    When I did something particularly bad as a child I remember my mother chastising me with “What in the world made you even think that was acceptable?!” There are some things that we just know (or certainly should know) are just not how we behave. You just don’t do it. It never even enters your head that it’s an OK thing to do.

    Even with all of the examples that came before her and all the precedents set (Betty Ford and substance abuse, Nancy Reagan and her ill conceived but well meaning “Just Say No” to drugs, Michelle Obama and children’s health and nutrition) her mind just doesn’t go to “What cause do I have that I will use this position to help?” but instead immediately to “How can I use being FLOTUS to make money?”

    The clear indication that it never even crosses her mind that that’s wrong is that she’s up front about that being her thinking. He main complaint isn’t that she’s being (allegedly) slandered but that it’s affecting her chance to make money from being FLOTUS.

    Think about that. People who know they’re doing something disreputable tend to mask it. Republicans are masters of this. “We’re not opposed to Obamacare because it came from a Democrat, we’re opposed because it’s, um, somehow unspecifically not good. Yeah. That’s the ticket.” But Melania hasn’t done that. Because it doesn’t even ever occur to her that what she’s doing is wrong.

  • mnpollio

    Truthfully, Melania is the least of Trump’s problems. And I have never heard of a First Lady (Third Lady in Trump’s case?) who is so open about using her position to shill fashions and fragrances. If Hillary Clinton or Michelle Obama had done this, the Republicans would have been lighting the torches, grabbing the pitchforks and invading the White House screaming for the president and first lady’s ouster.

    I have also never heard of a prior instance where a First Lady did not immediately reside in the White House. When I see Melania, I keep imagining a vicious, more shallow version of Eva Gabor’s character in Green Acres – “Dahlink! You go live in public housing in dah Vite House, but give me Park Avenue”. But then, she is a “hot” woman and every straight conservative will forgive anything and everything (including the possible illegality of that person’s arrival in the country) if there is a “hot” woman attached to it. Honestly, the more Trump and his family speak publicly, the more you realize that they are little more than pure white trash. They may have scads of money and power, but at the end of the day, they are still white trash. As the old saying goes, “No matter what, you can’t polish a turd!”

  • muselet

    Jesus Christ on QVC, what a bunch of cheap grifters.

    –alopecia

  • Toolymegapoopoo

    What do we normally call women who take money to have sex with people they wouldn’t normally have sex with?

    Yes, Melania is a prostitute. That’s fine. I think it should be legal and accepted. However, for her to claim that she isn’t is a joke.

  • ninjaf

    I see this as an attack on the First Amendment. This is the same attorney who led the lawsuit against Gawker, so let’s not lose sight of the big picture, either.

    That said, is there nothing they won’t monetize? That’s a stupid rhetorical question, of course, because we all know the answer.

  • Georgie
  • Ellen Kuhlmann

    So this is what Melania has been focusing on? She has a great opportunity for “build her brand” if she wants it – as an active 1st Lady. Agree that the suit dredges up something most had already forgotten, and likely didn’t care about in the 1st place. GOPers would have cared however, if it was the wife of a Democrat.

  • Christopher Foxx

    and her children look like serial killers

    Is it so hard to find things to criticize the Trumps for that you have to stoop to attacking minor children? Shame.

    • JMAshby

      She’s also a step-mother to Eric, Donald Jr, and Ivanka, and you know damn well that’s who I was referring to.

      • Christopher Foxx

        No I didn’t, otherwise I wouldn’t have commented as I did. So before you tell me what I’m thinking, trust that it’s what I wrote, not what you’re imagining.

        So tell me, what do serial killers look like? Because resorting to personal insults based on someone’s looks, particularly of someones who aren’t the person you’re criticizing in your article, is still shameful.

        Should I express my difference of opinion with you by saying “And his nephew looks funny.”? Of course not.

        • JMAshby

          When have I ever disparaged the looks of a small child? I’ve been doing this for 6 years and nothing comes to mind.

          In any event, you’re taking this way too seriously. I’m not going to apologize for implying that Eric and Don Jr look like the second coming of Patrick Bateman, or that they look like adult versions of the Children of the Damned, or that Eric looks like Lestat in Interview with the Vampire. Nor will I apologize for implying that they’re lizards on numerous previous occasions.

          I don’t have a nephew so, no, you probably shouldn’t say my nephew looks funny. That wouldn’t make any sense.

          • Christopher Foxx

            When have I ever disparaged the looks of a small child?”

            Apparently never, which is why it struck me that you seemed to be doing so this time. You say you weren’t. OK, I get that. Hopefully you get how it came across.

          • Badgerite

            Personally, I don’t view them as “serial killers” so much as a fine example of a “mobbed up” family. They seem to think that now America will be the family business. That is waaaaaay offensive. So offensive I can’t muster any real sympathy for them. They used an alleged ‘charity’ as a slush fund for personal use. To avoid taxes, pay legal fines and judgements and buy personal items . How much sympathy would you expect for them?

        • Camacho/Trump 2016!!

          It’s a pretty common meme to compare Trump eldest 2 sons to Patrick Bateman which has been made numerous times on this very website that you comment on regularly.

          • Christopher Foxx

            Being a frequent commenter doesn’t mean I read every comment on every post so I’m not familiar with every reference ever made.

            Just like, despite my explaining in this very thread how I saw Ashby’s comment, you seem totally ignorant of that. But, don’t let that stop you from jumping at a poor attempt to sound smugly superior.

          • Badgerite

            You make a point. Especially about the Baron Von Trump.
            But since most people who stop here know Ashby by frequent exposure to his thoughts, we generally assumed that he was referring to her step sons. Not the young one.
            And Ivana’s kids have campaigned to put someone they have to know is unfit for the office into the presidency for personal and family profit. As I recall, Don Jr. even tried to get Kasich to sign on as VP with the idea that he would actually be “acting president”. Hands on while trump went golfing. And after having promised people that no one would be thrown off their health insurance, he would sign anything Ryan would put on his desk that would do just that. As well as gut Medicare.
            No hankies for them. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. For me, they would have to do something reeeeeeeally swell to change that.
            And I am not holding my breath on that one.

          • Christopher Foxx

            But since most people who stop here know Ashby by frequent exposure to his thoughts, we generally assumed that he was referring to her step sons.

            And so he was, although (I say again) I didn’t initially read it that way. He didn’t specify “step-” and, given that they’re only 7 to 13 years younger than her, I don’t think of them as her “kids”. I doubt I’m alone in that regard.

            No hankies for them. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch.

            Agreed. Not a one.

          • Camacho/Trump 2016!!

            It’s really not a big deal; you thought he was referring to Barron, and he wasn’t. He didn’t reference step sons, which maybe he should have, so fair enough. But in his defense the “Eric and Donald Jr. are basically Patrick Bateman” thing is pretty common in the liberal blogosphere.

  • Christopher Foxx

    I shit you not, Melania Trump has filed a lawsuit against The Daily Mail over a story that alleged that she once worked for an escort service.

    Really? Someone suing because they believe they’ve been slandered causes you to shit?

    You buried the lede.

    • JMAshby

      The lede is literally in the headline.

      • Christopher Foxx

        Yes it is. And you pick it up in the second paragraph. But your astonishment in the first is not about the thing you proclaim in your headline.

        • Badgerite

          The first is the cause of action. Defamation. The second part is a claim for monetary damages caused by the alleged defamation. So, yeah, there is a distinction. But in her case, she has no real right to have her business profit from the fact that she is FLOTUS. That is improper and unethical. And if Michelle Obama had done that you would not hear the end of it on Fixed ‘news’. What’s more, she is a very public person now.
          Different legal rules apply. She might get a retraction. Probably that is about it. So, get out the hankies.

  • Aynwrong

    Low class rich people. That’s who the nation has been turned over to.

  • And the naked profiteering will be completely ignored by Republicans, who would have flipped a gasket if Michelle Obama had done anything even remotely similar.

    • Aynwrong

      The first time Michelle Obama gives a speech about anything Fox News will declare a state of emergency.

    • Draxiar

      “Naked profiteering”
      I see what you did there…