Stupid Party Super Stupid War On Women WTF

Outreach: Conservative Dating Profile

The conservative Americans for Shared Prosperity group is tired of the Democratic party’s “war on women” rhetoric so they’re fighting back with this amazingly patronizing, terrible, horrible, sexist video ad. This is monumentally bad.

Warning: this may be one of the most awkward and terrible things you’ve ever seen because holy shit this is bad. Seriously, what the fuck is this?

In 2008 I fell in love. His online profile made him seem so perfect. Smart. Handome. Charming. Articulate. All the right values. I trusted him. But by 2012 our relationship was in trouble, but I stayed with him because he promised he’d be better. He’s great at promises. He told me we’d be safe.

Have you looked at the news? He’s in my emails and text messages; spying on me but ignoring real threats.

He said that we’d finally get on our feet financially. I’ll never pay down what he spent.

He thinks the only thing I care about is free birth control but he won’t even let me keep my own doctor.

I know I’m stuck with Barack for two more years. I get that. But I’m not stuck with his friends. I’m looking for someone who gets that this isn’t about him. It’s about us.

I was left quite literally speechless after watching this.

Obviously the president is not your boyfriend and he’s not in your emails and text messages, but that’s beside the point.

Conservatives apparently believe the way to get in touch with women is to reduce elections and civic responsibility into a horrible dating metaphor in which the woman on screen refers to “Barack” as “articulate.”

You could write a column on just the racial undertones of this ad in which the “articulate” black president is accused of invading the white woman’s privacy and spending her money. Furthermore, the tone of the ad as it is delivered, in which the president is presented as a bad boyfriend, comes off as some kind of domestic abuse PSA.

It’s amazingly terrible.

It’s hard to imagine this will persuade anyone other than late night comedy writers.

  • bphoon

    I’ll never pay down what he spent.

    You mean like a Medicare prescription benefit where he lied about how much it would cost and didn’t pay for it? Or two tax cuts for the rich that he didn’t pay for? Or two wars he didn’t pay for? Or like eviscerating the SEC so Wall Street gambling addicts could play away your mortgage? You mean…oh…wait…hmmm…

  • Mike_Norris

    I saw this commercial this morning while I was watching The Price is Right. I threw up in my mouth a little, but then I found myself laughing my ass off. It is so stupid it’s hilarious.

  • muselet

    The acting! Oh, dear Invisible Pink Unicorn, the acting was nearly as bad as the writing!

    What, the woman who played Rose in the East Fencepost Nebraska Community Theatre’s production of Titanic wasn’t available?

    He thinks the only thing I care about is free birth control, but he won’t even let me keep my own doctor.

    This is what Righties think will get women on their side?

    –alopecia

  • Sabyen91

    “He told me we’d be safe.”

    “He said that we’d finally get on our feet financially.”

    You look pretty safe and you don’t LOOK like you are living in a hovel. Pathetic. And she started getting those crazy eyes. Whoever is REALLY with her should probably keep sharp objects away from her.

    • The Dead Dude

      Ya gotta love a white man throwing his identity away to stick up for the black man!

      • Sabyen91

        Go away Zigbee stalker-troll.

        • The Dead Dude

          What is a zigbee stalker troll ? I was thanking white people like you!

          • Sabyen91

            Your life must suck so bad that you have to talk through all of your sock-puppets and your goal is to be a dick. I guess I am grateful my life isn’t THAT bad.

          • The Dead Dude

            I have no idea what you are talking about. Sorry if I hit a button.

  • aynwrong

    All I can say is that anyone who could possibly find this as anything other then completely ridiculous is someone who would vote for Obama anyway. Honestly if I were a conservative this would leave me shaking my head in embarrassment.
    Also, ” Conservatives for Shared Prosperity? ” Shared? Sounds vaguely socialistic for a conservative group, doesn’t it.

    • vgranucci

      Well they don’t want to share it with just anybody!

      • aynwrong

        With something as creepy as that ad I, for once I wish they would embrace their usual instinct and just be selfish.

  • FlipYrWhig

    Also, the deficit is smaller. Funny how that never enters into it.

  • 1933john

    Should of been a Blond on a Black Sofa.
    .

  • ruth crocker

    republicans wish they had a candidate anyone could possiblly imagine as their boyfriend, rather than old fart rotarian, obsessive compulsive social issue freak, or trickle down dimwit.

  • GrafZeppelin127

    More evidence that “conservatives” think the world consists only of conservatives.

  • Toolymegapoopoo

    Egad! Why are conservatives so bad at sounding genuine?

    Also, I was just waiting for a “Sure, at first the sex was great, but then BENGHAZI!!!!”

    • ruth crocker

      he lost me when he stopped putting his dirty socks in the hamper and just left them on the floor.

  • BlueTrooth

    Ya, but does the ad generate “buzz”? Does it garner views and soc media “penetration”? The substance is secondary because the real goal these days is to have impressive “data” to attract more donors to attract more clients to make US politics a full time career with benefits. As far as substance goes, these ads are primarily focused on “pissing off the politically correct liberals”. Any opportunity to blast the “PC crowd” is cherished by the Tea Party base. If it wasn’t for the imbalances in Districting, Conservatives would be in serious trouble in the midterms. 2016 should better reflect the consequences of being stupid.

    • Christopher Foxx

      As far as substance goes, these ads are primarily focused on “pissing off the politically correct liberals”.

      Of course. Because those on the right have little agenda other than irritate the left.

      Having plans to actually, you know, DO anything to improve things for the country? Never enters their collective head.

    • JMAshby

      I don’t think self-parody is ever the goal. It just turns out that way.

  • drspittle

    Sounds like a column “MoDo The Spurned” would have written.