Paranoid Lobbyist Scott Pruitt Expands His Private Army

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) administrator and industry lobbyist Scott Pruitt is sinking even deeper into paranoid psychosis and will soon add a dozen more agents to his personal security detail.

With Pruitt's personal army totaling at least 30(!) agents now, the cost of employing them in that role is also adding up.

Pruitt's security detail is in the process of expanding by hiring a dozen more agents, according to a source with knowledge of the situation, as the number of threats against the agency leader increase. The incoming agents will grow the team that works in shifts to provide him around-the-clock protection, something unheard of for Pruitt's predecessors. [...]

The positions on Pruitt's detail pay between $103,000 and nearly $162,000, according to the job posting and a source familiar with the positions, who described how the role is called criminal investigator or agent, and said it qualifies for a 25% bonus paid to federal law enforcement officers, who work unusual hours. [...]

In addition, the cost of the team goes well beyond their salaries. The number of government vehicles used by Pruitt's security detail will also grow, allowing each agent his or her own vehicle.

These agents would ordinarily be tasked with investigating environmental crimes and I believe they should be well compensated for that, but Scott Pruitt has reassigned them as personal babysitters.

I have no doubt that Pruitt has received threats, but a quick search tells me Pruitt now has as many agents (30) guarding him as a sitting president does on a typical day. There is no excuse for this. He is not Caesar.

Previous administrators and other agency heads have traveled with just one or two agents.

  • Draxiar

    How long before he locks himself in his office eating Hershey bars and drinking his own urine?

    • I hope it’s tomorrow. That way his sabotaging every environmental gain of the last 25 years might cease.

      • Draxiar

        Damn, if only that would happen.

  • muselet

    Greenies tend not to be a particularly violent lot. Okay, a few years ago some knuckleheads lit a few SUVs and mountaintop McMansions on fire to make a point about … something … (I’m not entirely sure what) and for their troubles got terrorism enhancements added to their indictments, but those were property crimes.

    Scott Pruitt is emphatically not in mortal danger all day, every day, from such folk. No one means him harm. So his having a huge security detail is, erm, peculiar at best.

    The only explanation I can come up with—other than a florid case of paranoia, which is certainly possible—is that he’s trying to (a) keep all the EPA’s enforcement agents from doing their actual jobs, and (b) siphon off and waste as much of the EPA’s budget as possible.


    • ninjaf

      Florid? Did you mean fluoride? He knew they were trying to control his mind somehow!

  • David Greenberg

    Nothing to hide. Pure as the driven snow or a steaming turd.

  • Dread_Pirate_Mathius

    Maybe he wouldn’t have to be so paranoid if he didn’t work so hard to give people reasons to hate him?