Benghazi Ethics Food Hillary Clinton Rand Paul Super Stupid

Rand Paul Double Derp Feature


According to Kentucky senator and serial plagiarist Rand Paul, the FDA is coming to take away your doughnuts. And while that is undoubtedly a fate worse than death by doughnuts, it’s even more egregious when you consider that there may be people who work at the FDA who are overweight.

Apparently the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) isn’t about healthcare at all. It’s about taking away your Freedom(!) and Liberty(!) to drink Big Gulps and eat doughnuts high in trans-fat.

PAUL: It’s about freedom of choice. It’s about freedom. It’s about whether you should have the liberty to buy something. What comes after healthcare? Somebody might someday say we’re gonna ban the Big Gulp, how would that be? Oh that’s right they already did that, sorry.

What’s next? We got healthcare, we got the Big Gulp, you name it. They’re coming after your doughnuts. Did you hear they’re coming after the trans-fat in your doughnuts.

Oh hell no, we have to save the trans-fat!

They may take our trans-fats, but they’ll never take our freedom!

PAUL: The FDA has banned, unilaterally some unelected bureaucrat has banned trans-fat, so I said we need to line every one of them up. I said I want to see how skinny or how fat the FDA agents are that are making the rules on this.

And not only that, any of them with a BMI over 16, or whatever the number if you’re suppose to have, I want to see them on the treadmill, and I want somebody from maybe OSHA lashing them while they’re on the treadmill. ‘Cause if we’re gonna have a nanny state, and everybody’s gotta eat the right thing and you can’t eat a doughnut, maybe outta just enforce it on the government workers first.

What’s next? Will someone in the state or federal government light a cigarette while imposing a new tax on cigarettes? Will dogs and cats begin living together?

Obviously no one is saying you can’t eat a goddamn doughnut. Banning trans-fats does not mean there will be no more doughnuts, it simply means you may be slightly less at risk of dying from eating said doughnuts. And no one will be the wiser. If no one told you there were no longer trans-fats included in Crispy Cream, you wouldn’t even notice.

While we’re on the subject, lining people up, measuring their weight, and lashing them on the treadmill doesn’t sound like Liberty(!) to me. But this has nothing to do with Freedom or Liberty, contrary to what Rand Paul says. This is about opposing federalism and democracy on the behalf of corporations. That’s what Libertarianism really is.


Meanwhile, Paul also took a moment during his stop in South Carolina to imply that Benghazi should disqualify Hillary Clinton from ever becoming president.

“To my mind, you should never have a commander in chief who is unwilling to send in troops for reinforcement — or in the six-month period of time, did not send adequate security when it was asked for repeatedly,” Paul said in a more direct allusion to Clinton. “To me, that should preclude you from ever holding high office.”

Not that it needs to be said here, but the idea that the administration made a decision not ‘send in troops’ is misleading at best. And the idea that Clinton is responsible for inadequate security is laughable.

Congressional Republicans, including Libertarian Boy Wonder Rand Paul, demanded the spending cuts that lead to a shortage in embassy security worldwide.

This talk of disqualification comes from a man who has committed plagiarism at least 8 (and counting) times in speeches, books, and columns.