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Rand Paul Must Think The Founding Fathers Were Deaf and Dumb

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In a recent op-ed posted on CNN, of all places, Senator Rand Paul(R-KY)finally broke his silence on the Obama administration’s leadership skills, specifically where the NSA and our national security is concerned.

Speaking on behalf of his plagiarized frivolous lawsuit, The President of The Founding Fathers Hair Club for Men wrote:

Americans do not like to think of their government as some Orwellian leviathan, engaging in surveillance tactics that we only expect to see in oppressive autocracies. That such surveillance could be going on in what is ostensibly the freest nation in the world is a chilling thought indeed.

And furthermore…

It’s time to hold government officials accountable for their habitual trampling on the Constitution and on our rights as individuals. Our case will be an important step down the road of restoring our Constitution and reining in our own overreaching federal government.

This is, of course, his whole shtick. The Founding Fathers weren’t spies! They were too busy thinking up cool shit to say about freedoms and hating the French to concern themselves with “foreign intelligence, counter-intelligence, and covert operations.”

This America, and this constitution-trampling president would be unrecognizable to our fathers of founding lore!

Like George Washington:

An original letter written by George Washington that initiated a spy network during the Revolutionary War is going on display for a limited time at the International Spy Museum in Washington.

The museum says Washington’s letter, written on Feb. 4, 1777, launched the nation’s first spy network. While then-Gen. Washington was commander in chief of the Continental Army, he wrote to confidant Nathaniel Sackett, commissioning him to spy for his country as Washington’s “intelligence director.”

In a letter to Nathaniel Sackett dated April 8th 1777, America’s foundingest of fathers wrote,

The good effect of Intelligence may be lost if it is not speedily transmitted—this should be strongly Impressed upon the Persons Imployed as it also should be to avoid false Intelligence and building too much upon Reports alone—A comparison of Circumstances should be had, and much pains take<n to a>void erroneous Accts.

Then he said, “shhhh, don’t tell anyone because that would be some fucked up treason, or something.”

But all this follows along with what Sen. Rand Paul has been saying for months. Which is,

The president sees a different kind of America than what our Founding Fathers envisioned. I still think they got it right, and in my capacity as a United States senator will work diligently to restore and defend the Constitution that both the president and I swore to uphold.

That’s right, Rand! Hell yeah! Founding Fathers, visions, Constitution, white power! It’s all there!

He knows his fathers, alright. Who could argue with that? I mean, other than The Founding Fathers Of Funk?

George Washington was the obvious choice for acquisition of foreign intelligence. The Father of our Country was an adroit spymaster. Over the course of his long military career, he directed numerous agent networks, provided comprehensive guidance in intelligence tradecraft to his agents, and used their intelligence effectively when planning and conducting military operations.

John Jay — who later became Chief Justice of the United States–is considered the Founding Father of American counterintelligence. Jay is seldom cited for his achievements in this arena; his historical reputation stems largely from his political and judicial accomplishments. But he clearly deserved to be considered the first national-level American counterintelligence chief.

Ben Franklin — was the American icon after whom the remaining room was named. His efforts in what is known today as covert action were wide-ranging and usually successful. During the Revolutionary War period, Franklin engaged in propaganda operations and agent-of-influence activities and directed paramilitary operations against British property.

He must mean some other founding fathers and some other America.