Foreign Policy

Report: Staffers Trick Trump Into Preparing for His First Trip

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Trump is going to embark on his first trip overseas so he must have adequately prepared for it, right?

No?

National Security Council staffers tasked with preparing Trump for his trip have struggled to educate him and they've reportedly resorted to indulging his narcissistic impulses.

He likes single-page memos and visual aids like maps, charts, graphs and photos.

National Security Council officials have strategically included Trump's name in "as many paragraphs as we can because he keeps reading if he's mentioned," according to one source, who relayed conversations he had with NSC officials.

Trump likes to look at a map of the country involved when he learns about a topic.

This will almost certainly be a disaster.

President Obama had full command of the issues because he actually cared enough about the rest of the world to learn about it. Trump is just embarking on a corporate branding tour with the bare minimum of preparation.

  • muselet

    As an aide-mémoire, studying a map while learning about a topic can be effective. I’m pretty sure that’s not what’s going on with Donald Trump; he’s far more likely to be marveling at a particular shade of green used to indicate forests.

    It’s going to take a very long time for the US to regain its reputation and international standing after Trump leaves office.

    –alopecia

  • Draxiar

    This may sound unpatriotic but so be it…I hope the other world leaders treat him like shit.

    • Toolymegapoopoo

      Not unpatriotic at all. I hope he has journalists tossing their shoes at him. I doubt he has the excellent reflexes GW Bush displayed in that situation.

      • Draxiar

        “I’m very good at getting hit by shoes, believe me. So many people tell me that I’m better at it than W…they do…it’s true…very vey true.”

        • Christopher Foxx

          “I get hit by the best shoes, believe me. Believe me.”

  • Toolymegapoopoo

    That picture above is now my laptop wallpaper because it contains everything: That stupid fucking comb-over, those tiny hands, and that enormous ass.

  • ninjaf

    Well, this is going to go down in flames.

  • gescove

    Mention his name, but NEVER put “Look, squirrel!” in a paragraph.

  • Badgerite
  • Badgerite

    The Flying POS Pity Party. Where was he again during Vietnam. Oh yeah. Avoiding anything that might actually cause him a minutes distraction from “grabbing them by the _______. ” Couldn’t we send him to Elba. Or something.
    https://twitter.com/tommyxtopher/status/864878575203364867

    • Aynwrong

      To people who are prepared to risk their lives in defense of the country and our laws he says this.

      Jesus… Cry me a river.

  • Dread_Pirate_Mathius

    National Security Council officials have strategically included Trump’s name in “as many paragraphs as we can because he keeps reading if he’s mentioned,” according to one source, who relayed conversations he had with NSC officials.

    I don’t even care if that’s true. It’s HYSTERICAL.

    I’m going to try this with my boss next time he won’t read a long email.

    • Aynwrong

      He’s like a dumb animal being led around by a trainer who’s dangling raw meat from a stick.