WTF

Scott Pruitt Had His Security Detail Drive Him Around Looking for Fancy Lotion

JM Ashby
Written by JM Ashby

Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) administrator Scott Pruitt has asked his large, expensive security detail to do many embarrassing and unethical things, such as turn on their sirens so he could make it to a dinner reservation on time, but this takes the cake.

Sources who spoke to the Washington Post say Pruitt asked his security detail to drive him around Washington in search of exclusive lotion.

While EPA security agents are required to protect Pruitt at all times — both while he is working and during his off hours — the two individuals said the administrator had asked members of the detail to perform tasks that go beyond their primary function. In one instance, they said, he directed agents to drive him to multiple locations in search of a particular lotion on offer at Ritz-Carlton hotels.

On other occasions, they added, he asked agents to pick up his dry cleaning without him.

Look, I was born with eczema so I understand the need to keep a bottle of lotion around, but Scott Pruitt can acquire lotion on his own time. He could even order it online without another person holding his hand.

Pruitt's security detail seems to be less like a team of professional guards and more like a squad of nannies who do everything but wipe his ass. I mean, unless that's coming in the next report.

Pruitt is a social ladder-climber who desperately wants to be a diva but he just comes off as a disgusting weirdo. We still don't know what he's doing with that used mattress from the Trump hotel.

Pruitt was also reportedly kicked out of the White House mess hall because he's such a bum.

  • Aynwrong

    Does anybody know for a fact that the booth is a phonebooth? Is there an actual phone in there? Is he making actual phone calls? I mean, he could be doing other things.

    I’ll stop now.

  • Username1016

    Nobody seems to know what the expensive phone booth is for, either. What does he do in there? Who does he call? Somebody subpoena his phone records, sheesh!

  • muselet

    Scott Pruitt can finally pretend he’s one of those VIPs he’s always heard about.

    That’s all this is about. He has a deep need to be seen as important. It was all well and good to have people from the extraction industry buy him the occasional expensive dinner and toss a few thousand in his campaign kitty, but now Pruitt doesn’t have to wait for a lobbyist or CEO to phone up and invite him to a swanky restaurant. He can mooch pricey meals from the White House mess, demand a 24/7 security detail, send his bodyguards on trivial errands and fly first class, because he thinks that’s what rich people do.

    He’s desperately grabbing with both hands everything within reach because he’s afraid it’s all going to be taken away from him. If he’s not stealing office supplies and silverware, I’ll be very surprised.

    Such a person should never be placed in a position of power and authority.

    –alopecia